Page 51 of Perfect Matcha
Camden’s head twitched, side to side, like he was shaking his headno, but more involuntary. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Well … You don’t have to say anything. It’s okay that you don’t—”
“Wait.” Camden grabbed Theo’s hands and squeezed. “Hold on. I’m freaking out and don’t want to fuck this up.”
“You don’t need to freak out. It’s me and you. Nothing you say is wrong. Nothing you feel is wrong either.”
Camden’s chin wobbled, and he pulled their entwined hands to his face, using them to hide. “I’m sorry. It’s been a weird night.”
Alarmed, Theo scooted his chair closer until they were side by side. No one seemed to be paying them any attention, and he hoped their words were drowned out by the plinking of guitar strings and the hushed conversations of other patrons.
“Aren’t you scared?” Camden asked.
“Of what?”
“That loving each other will screw everything up. That we’ll fracture the Three Mountaineers for good until we’re all just single entities, existing without each other, and you’ll never talk to me again. I’d be so fucking alone, Theo.”
“So you’re saying you love me?” Theo asked, a smile playing across his lips. He couldn’t help it.
“Of course I love you.” Camden released Theo’s hands. “Did you not hear anything else I said? What in the world makes you think I wouldn’t fuck this up? I’vealreadyfucked this up. The matchmaking. The sex toys. Hawke. I feel like our friendship is barely hanging on because of what I’ve been doing, and I cannot lose you.”
“Cam. Our friendship is not breakable. It’s not that fragile. I promise.”
“But Freddie—”
“Isn’t you.Isn’t me. Freddie and I broke up because we weren’t right for each other. And our friendship fell apart because we were twenty-five, and I was too self-absorbed and preoccupied to fight for it. But I am right for you.I know I am.And I will always, always, always fight for you, Cam.”
Camden groaned and scrubbed his hands through his hair. “Oh my God, you’re going to make me cry in fucking Bold Brew.”
“I’m so sorry if I hurt you with the … uh … role play, sex-toy stuff. It meant something to me, in my heart. It was emotionally complicated for me too. But I didn’t tell you that. Couldn’t even tell myself. I wouldn’t have been able to be vulnerable with anyone but you. I don’twantto be vulnerable with anyone but you.”
“I’m sorry too, Theo. I haven’t been honest. I’ve loved you for almost half our lives.” Camden laughed, a harsh, tortured noise, and cupped Theo’s face between his hands. “Geez, I can’t believe I’ve finally said that out loud. Literally everyone knew but you.”
Theo’s heart felt too light for his body. He was smiling so wide his face hurt. “We’re going to be okay, Cam. I promise.”
“I don’t want to be your matchmaker anymore.”
“Well, good. I’ve found me a match.”
“I want you to go to the wedding with me.” Camden’s thumb skimmed Theo’s cheekbone.
“I accept. I’ll feel like the belle of the ball.”
“I want to be able to kiss you over donuts and when we say hello and here at Bold—”
Theo couldn’t stand it any longer. He stole the last word from Camden’s lips.
He knew the shape of Camden’s mouth. Had it memorized. He could picture the way it had changed through the years, his lips filling out, his smile hardening, his stubble growing in. He knew what Camden tasted like during sex, all fire and control and impulsivity.
But Theo wanted to discover him in these sweet moments. The way Camden smiled slightly into the kiss and held Theo’s chin tenderly in his hand. The tease and feather-light brush of Camden’s tongue. The nudge of his nose against Theo’s glasses. The lovely hitch in Camden’s breath.
Camden mouthed, “I love you,” against Theo’s lips, and Theo memorized that too. Unearthed that miracle to keep in his heart forever.
Then he shared it right back, his own heart in his hand. “I love you too.”
