Page 193 of Love Arranged
She tries to avoid my gaze, but I cradle her face and force her to look at me. “Tell me.”
“I thought you were falling in love with me,” she whispers.
“Ask me,” I command, and she shakes her head. “Ask me how I feel,” I repeat.
Her eyes screw shut. “I wouldn’t believe you anyway.”
Pain laces through my heart, sharp and all-consuming. It makes me want to lash out, but I hold back and refocus my energy into more productive emotions.
I cup the back of her head. “The only liar here isyou, and I’ll prove it.”
I seal my mouth over hers before she can say anything else, and I won’t let her go until she finally accepts the truth once and for all.
51
LILY
Aperson can only take so much before they break, and Lorenzo saying he misses me ruined my plan of staying away from him today.
I couldseethe truth in his sad eyes and in the dark shadows cast underneath them, as if he has been sleeping poorly like me since the debate. I see it in the text messages he sends me throughout the day, checking in on me despite having access to my location through the bracelet he gave me.
Every time I remind myself that I should be angry at him, the emotion is quickly replaced by another one any time we are in the same room.
Sadness, since being in his presence reminds me of hisbetrayal.
Love,because no matter how many times I lie to myself, I know it won’t go away overnight, and maybe it never will.
But most of all, I amfearful, knowing that if I accept his actions as honest ones, then I’ll run out of reasons to be mad at him. And if I’m no longer angry at him, then I have no reason to stay away.
Not a single one, other than the fear of him hurting me again.
I try to hold on to that thought, but once his lips meet mine, I forget all about my anger. My fears. Everything fades into the background, my worries becoming white noise as he kisses me.
Against all my instincts, I shut my eyes and allow myself to enjoy the moment. Sparks scatter down my spine as he slides his hands through my hair and holds me in place, his lips a soft cushion for mine.
He takes his time, and he intentionally drags out our kiss, forcing me to catalogue every single way my body responds to his.
My stomach flips. My breath stalls. My heart stops before finding its rhythm again. All from a stupid, simplepeck.
To keep him from gloating, I deepen the kiss, my arms circling around his neck so I can pull him closer. He follows my lead, and I hate him for it.
I don’t want to be in charge. I want my brain to shut off for a few minutes and allow him to take control so I don’t blame myself when all this comes crashing down around me.
The next few minutes play out like snapshots in a movie, almost like an out-of-body experience.
Me climbing onto Lorenzo’s lap so I can comfortably kiss him without hurting my neck.
Him standing with my legs wrapped around his waist, only breaking our kiss so he can safely walk up the stairs.
Us kissing against his bedroom door with Daisy whining on the other side, her high-pitched sound making Lorenzo pull away from the door and toss me onto the bed.
I don’t recognize myself as I get rid of Lorenzo’s shirt and pants before yanking his boxers down. His erection slaps against his toned stomach, and my mouth waters with anticipation.
When I reach for him, he seems to snap out of his lust-induced daze and takes a step back.
“What are you doing?” I hiss.
He stands at the foot of the bed and presses his clenched fists into the mattress. “I don’t want you to regret this tomorrow.”
