Page 1 of Not Even A Mouse
Where things began
“Boy, you wanna explain what that school principal sent this paper home for?”
No, fourteen-year-old Ronnie absolutely did not want to explain why the school wanted to have a parent-teacher conference. There were few things he was certain of these days, but explaining to Mr. Younger what the teacher had seen today was a definite no. He stood and triednot to fidget, gaze resolutely angled towards the floor, knowing from experience it was the only way to get through the next few minutes without catching holy heck.
“Boy?” The tone of the single word question had changed, dropping an octave, growing a rough and jagged edge to the sound. Ronnie knew better than to even shake his head, because that would be an admission of something, which wouldopen the door for the rest.
Alan’s voice slithered through his head, repeating the same entreaty he’d spouted since Monday.“You wanna look at the pictures, you gotta do what they show.”Alan had stolen one of his daddy’s dirty magazines, no big deal, something he’d done before with no repercussions. Ronnie had never understood the draw, but the boys in class would cluster around the older Alanas if he held the Holy Grail, paying a penny per page to look at the crowded pictures of women on the slick sheets of paper.
Monday, though, the magazine Alan brought to school had a special section in the back. Ronnie had gotten only a glimpse as Alan fanned through the pages, teasing his crew, and what he saw left Ronnie standing with his mouth open like he was a stupe. He’d lined up with theother boys, penny in hand, stepping out of line and back in behind the next boy, and the next, until he’d been the last one and they had only a few minutes before recess was over.
“I wanna…see…those.” He pointed to the back cover and Alan tipped his head, staring down at him with wide eyes. “The ones at the back, there.” He held out his hand, one shiny penny lying flat on his palm. Alan smiled,but it wasn’t a nice smile. The expression on his face pulled his mouth wide, top lip lifting until he no longer looked like a fifteen-year-old boy, but more like a scary caricature of a man with too-big teeth.
“Meet me back of the gym at lunch.” His hand swooped out, fingers plucking the penny from Ronnie’s palm. He leaned close and tucked it deep into the front pocket of Ronnie’s pants, fingersdigging, rubbing and touching his privates in a way that made his pecker stiffen. “You can look all you want, no charge.”
Ronnie had wolfed down his lunch, shoveling the school food into his mouth until it was a wonder he hadn’t choked. Alan was a grade ahead of him, and their lunch was earlier. Ronnie was afraid he’d miss the boy and that wasn’t something he was going to permit. That singleglance of the pictures in that special section had set his heart racing, made all the spit in his mouth dry up.
Empty tray handed through the window to the lunch lady, he’d forced himself to carefully walk to the door and out into the hallway. Turning left, he wound through the maze of halls that led to the back of the activity building, a combination gymnasium and auditorium, blinking at thebright sunshine when he pushed through the door and outside. He looked around in dismay and muttered, “Man,” because he didn’t see Alan.Lost my chance.
Ronnie turned to head back inside, mind already on his next class period, running through last night’s homework when he heard his name.
“Ronnie. Pssst. Over here.” Looking around, he saw a hand waving from the tiny alcove next to the gym. Whenthe builders added the gym, decades after the school itself was built, they’d left a tiny strip of space between the sides of the buildings. The area was soggy in rainy season, because the runoff from both roofs turned the ground to mush. It wasn’t raining now, and hadn’t been, so the dirt was packed. It was where the teachers who smoked went to get away from the kids, where the upperclassmen wentto kiss their girls. And now, it was where Ronnie was going to look at dirty pictures that made his stomach dip and sway.
“Lemme see.” He was anxious, already anticipating the moment of unveiling, ready to know for sure if what he’d been feeling was real. “Come on, Alan.”
Six inches taller, Alan stood in front of him, magazine folded and tucked under one arm, hands shoved into his pockets. “Won’ttake your money.”
A ball bounced inside the gym, hitting the wall beside Ronnie with such force the smack echoed in the space where they stood.No free rides. He thought of a bumper sticker he’d seen on a semi that touted Ass, Gas, or Grass, nobody rides for free.
There were no free rides in life, and Ronnie knew that truth better than most, because while the Youngers weren’t great, they werea far sight better than some of the other fosters he’d lived with in the years since his parents were killed in a car wreck. If Alan didn’t want money for Ronnie looking at the magazine, he’d want something else. “Then what?”
“For every page you wanna look at, you gotta do something.” The words came out in a rush, tripping over themselves to vacate Alan’s mouth.
“Do what?” His brain buzzed withideas of homework assignments, or carrying lunch trays. Being Alan’s toady for a few days might be worth it if what he expected to see was real and not a trick of his imagination.
“What one of the pictures shows.” Ronnie stood, mouth open, not breathing. Alan hurried to say, “One picture per page. Whatever one I pick, you gotta do.”
Another ball smacked against the inside wall, but Ronnie wasso focused on Alan he scarcely heard it, and didn’t hear the murmur of voices growing louder in the gym, signaling the lunch period was nearly ended.
“I gotta…” He let his voice trail off. Alan nodded. “Whatever you…” Another truncated sentence, another nod.
It was as if Alan had reached into his head and pulled out the one thing that he wanted more than anything. A reason to try the thingsthat were burning his brain. He opened his mouth but before he could respond, and he might never know what that response might have been, the two-minute bell rang, a shrill warble that held a tinge of warning.Don’t be late. Don’t be tardy. You’ll regret it.
Alan pushed past him and Ronnie felt something smack against his buttocks. Twisting, he saw Alan tuck the magazine back under his arm justbefore he rounded the corner.
That had been Monday and by the time Tuesday rolled around, Ronnie had a sleepless night under his belt and second thoughts in his head. Wednesday and Thursday, the same, lack of rest coloring deep circles under his eyes.
Then today, Alan had asked a final time, telling him the magazine had to be back in the toolbox in his dad’s garage before it got to be beer-thirty.And Ronnie had met him in the alcove. Alan picked a page, folded the magazine so that would be all Ronnie got out of the deal, and had given him two minutes to look his fill.
And look he did, gaze coasting up and down the page, criss-crossing the pictures that were jammed every which way on the printed page. Men. Naked men. Men in some elaborate harness things around their shoulders, and nothingelse on their body. Men on beds, asses in the air, one hand back to clutch their cheek so they could show their hole to best effect. There were words too, of a sort, a language Ronnie’d never seen, dots and dashes over and under letters. He looked beyond that to the pictures. Men on their backs, fingers wrapped around their hard peckers. The picture in the center had arrested him, and he spentprecious seconds staring at it. Two men, one on his knees with eyes turned up to the face of the one on his feet. He had the man’s whole pecker in his mouth, cheeks hollowed out like he was sucking on a straw.
“That one,” Alan said, hand appearing over the top of the magazine, finger tapping on the center image. Ronnie didn’t look away, kept his gaze on the picture, ignoring Alan’s dirty fingernailscoring a line across the man’s face. “You’ll do it.”
“Here?” Ronnie wasn’t aware his mouth was still working, thought his tongue had come unhinged in his maw.
“Here.” Alan agreed and plucked the magazine back, arranging the pages just so as he closed it, plain brown backing covering the pictures of naked women on the cover. From looking at it now, no one would ever guess it held the reasonfor Ronnie’s heart to be thudding along like it was. Alan’s fingers worked at his belt then his pants, and Ronnie watched as he reached inside, hand reappearing, cradling a length of pecker that was impressive. “Put your mouth on it.” Alan’s fingers gripped the base, splaying out across his crotch, angling his pecker straight out. “Come on, we don’t have all day.”
Ronnie bent at the waist andhesitated a moment, then slowly swayed forwards that last fraction of an inch and touched his lips to the tip of Alan’s pecker, surprised at the dry heat emanating from his flesh.
