Page 22 of Not Even A Mouse
What did you do
Andy
He sat and stared fixedly at the kitchen door, knee popping up and down as his bare heel beat a tattoo against the floor. MotherDanforthad picked up Talya, asking no questions about his panicked call for help. He just knew he needed to get Talya out of the house for this.How did I not know?It was lightly snowingoutsideso he was surprisedto hear a bike approaching. That was followed a minute later by a knock at the front door.What the hell?Myron had a key; Andy didn’t know why he would knock.
Maybe it’s not Myron. Sudden fear drove him to hisfeet,and he hurried to the door, yanked it open without looking through the peephole to see…Myron. Pent-up breath released in relief, he leanedforwardsfor the expected welcoming kissonly to find nothing but cold air as Myron swayedbackwards, just out of reach.
“Hey,” he said softly, studying Myron for an indication of what was going on. “What’s wrong?”
“You tell me.” Curt, the words seemed torn from histhroat,and Andy flinched at the jagged tone. “You’re the one who wanted totalk.”
Not smiling, because nothing made sense, Andy reached out and gripped Myron’s arm, tugginghim inside. “Yeah, we need to talk.”
Myron’s shoulders inched up, and he tipped his head back, blowing out a stream of air towards the ceiling. “Just tell me what’s wrong. We’ll sort it out.” Andy couldn’t help himself, reaching out to touch his chest, and Myron bent his neck, looking down at him. In his boots, with Andy in bare feet, he was acoupleof inches taller. “You don’t wanna know whatI’m thinking.” As if daring him to ask, Myron stared at him, brows arching towards his hairline.
“Come sit down.” Myron glanced at the kitchen, then down the hallway towards Talya’s room. “She’s with her grandmother.” Now Myron’s gaze cut towards the table, laptop sitting beside crumpled pages from the newspaper. He eyed the mess for a moment, then looked back at Andy who’d tugged on his hand.“I need you to explain.”
Myron widened his stance and crossed hisarms overhis chest. He hadn’t taken off his jacket yet, and the leather creaked ominously. “So tell me what this is I need to explain.”
“You want to come sit down?” Andy stepped back and let his hand drop. This wasn’t going how he’d expected, not at all. How he’d feared, sure. Hoped, not at all. “Please?”
“What I want is tohear whatever it is you have to say.” His jawset,and Andy watched as Myron’s lips pressed into a thin line. “So I can know where things are.”
“I wanted to understand about your…we haven’t really had a chance to talk about the club. The Rebels. There’s an article in the paper and…I wanted…it just felt like I need to know some things.”Like where you stand with the things the club’s accused of.“I’ve heard things.” He had, too. This morning, from the next door neighbor.“Do you know what kind of trash you’re letting in Roger’s house?”That had been the lead-in to an uncomfortable conversation. The man waving his paper at Andy’s face, talking fast, so that the only things that penetrated were “searched” and “outlaw gang.” That had driven him to make a trip to the store, buying his ownpaper. Doing a search online and coming up with a whole lot of information he hadn’t expected.
Realizing Myron didn’t plan to budge from his current position, Andy straightened his shoulders, deciding to push through from this weird place—where things were—and get to what he hoped would be the better plans for the evening. “Talya’s my daughter.”
“What? Of course, she is. You’re her papa.” Myron’smouth snapped shut, and Andy guessed he hadn’t intended the outburst.
“Well, yeah. I am. And that means she’s my responsibility.” He glanced at the couch. “Are you sure you don’t want to…” His words trailed off when Myron’s expression didn’tchange,and tried to pick up the thread of the story he wanted to tell. “Rogerwas friends with the neighbors. One of them came over and shared”—understatement—“his concerns this morning. Your friends didn’t make the front page, but the story wasn’t buried.” Myron paled, and a muscle jumped in his jaw, the contours of his neck flexing as he swallowed. “He said this wasn’t the first time the club’s run into trouble in town.” The look on Myron’s face didn’t tell him anything, nothing of guilt or innocence, at least. The anger reflected there, though? Thatwas blazingly clear.What if it’s all wrong?Embarrassment swallowed him whole. Staring at the floor, he said, “Talya’s my…I have to know she’s safe. Some of the things they reported in the paper and online—” Andy grimaced, letting the horror of those memorieswash throughhim. “Those don’t always paint your friends in the best possible light. How much of what they say is true?”
“Which neighbor?Who talked to you? Jesus, Andy, do I have to defend myself against anyone who comes along with an opinion, or have you already made up your mind?”
The verbal attack jolted Andy out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see a sneer on Myron’s face, his mouth twisted as if he were in pain. “What? No, it wasn’t like…he’s not like that. He’s just looking out for Talya.”
“Yeah, and I never peggedyou for someone who’d throw everything you know out the door. You know me, Andy. You know me better than this.”
“The paper said there was a raid. On a motorcycle gang’s clubhouse. When you aren’t here, you always say you’re at the clubhouse. Tell me that the police weren’t knocking on their door this morning. Tell me, and I’ll believe you. I know you’d never hurt Talya. But your friends?” Myron’swords had cut deep, and Andy struggled against showing the emotion. Myron’s head shook back and forth slowly and his stubborn refusal to explain made Andy angry, and he snapped, “Jesus, she’s my daughter. Don’t you think I deserve at least that? To know if she’s safe? To understand who you invited into Roger’s house?” Myron’s eyes widened, and Andy covered his mouth.I shouldn’t have said thosewords. Fighting tears, he croaked, “You asked me for honesty the other night. Wanted to know what happened with Roger. I told you, Myron. Told you everything. Didn’t I tell you how Roger left me, leftme and Talyato fend for ourselves? How he died overseas? I wasn’t even Talya’s guardian. It was a near thing, with the social workers all talking like foster care would be preferable to the gayman living in her father’s house. But somehow, between MotherDanfortand my grandmother, I found the help I needed so I could keep her. Keep her in her home. A home her father made for her. For us.” He pulled in a breath intended to calm, but Myron’s mouth insistently staying shut made him reckless. “You tell me my daughter is safe. Tell me I’m safe.”
“You think…you think for a moment I’d letanything happen to Talya? To you?” Looking staggered, Myron asked for clarification. “You don’t trust me to keep you safe?”
“No, I don’t.” It wasn’t true, but he’d lost control and was lashing out. Angry and hurt, because Myron hadn’t explained anything, and the news reports were very clear the kind of things the gang was into: rape, drugs, and even murder. “You’re going to have to do betterthan that.” Myron stepped forwards and stopped when Andy took a matching stepbackwards. “Don’t. You don’t get to come in here and decide what I need to know. Not when my questions are valid. Jesus, Myron. She’s my daughter. So don’t try to soothe me like what I’m asking doesn’t matter. Not until I can understand. Not until you tell me what’s going on.”
“I can’t, Andy. They aren’t just my friends,that’s…the Rebels are my family.” Andy shook his head. “I pulled your story out of you hand over fist, you fighting me the whole way, because I cared enough to want to know. I understand things have been going fast, and you’ve had a lot on your mind, but did you ever once…just one time…did you think to ask about my life and what I might have going on? So, what? My brothers are good enough tospend money at the bar, but now you’re worried about them helping keep Talya safe? Those are the best men I fucking know. They saved my life. Saved a lot of people.” That last was aroarand Andy jerkedbackwards, stumbling over his own feet. “And you’re going to stand there are tell me you’re afraid of them? Of me?”
“I’m just saying that we need to talk about this—” He gestured towards the table,pointing towards what still felt like damning evidence. “—and it should be sooner rather than later.”
“Yeah, you’re right. After I’ve spent the time with you becoming invested in you, I guess it’s about time you started asking about me and my life. There I was, feelin’ all proud of myself for landing you, when you clearly don’t give a shit. You’re the one backing away from me like you’re afraidof me.Me.” Myron breathed in through his nose, blowing it out slowly, his face settling into strained lines that made him look unfamiliar. “Fuck, Andy.Youambushedme, calling me over with barely a clue, looking like I should have understood before you opened the door that we were done.” He gestured to where the paper lay. “You even hear yourself just now?Roger’sneighbor andRoger’shouse.The only thing you got right in all of that was calling Talya your daughter.”
“Myron, can’t we talk? Are you even hearing me? I want to talk.”
“Oh, I heard you. I heard everything. Too much, Andy.” He laughed, the sound ragged with pain. “Christ. Looks like I made a fuck of a mistake today.”
“What mistake? What did you do?”
“Came out to my boss. My brother. Risked everything for you.” Andy’sfeet moved, taking him towards Myron,and this time it was Myron who held up his hand, palm out, stopping him.He did that for me. “Found out I’ve been stupid there, too. All my life, I’ve been afraid of losing things that mattered to me. And now—” He swept out a hand as he pulled in a sharp breath, but Andy couldn’t tell what he was indicating. “—I got nothing.” Myron turned and stomped to thedoor, yanking it open with a vicious pull. “Nothing here for me.”
“Myron,” he cried, but the darkness outside the door swallowed up his voice. Then anything else he could have said was drowned by the sound of the motorcycle engine revving. The headlight swung wildly as the bike’s back wheel spun dangerously. Then the rubber found traction and Myronwasgone.
