Page 9 of Gypsy's Lady
Making changes
Seated at his desk, Doug realized he’d been staring at the computer screen without seeing a thing. He glanced at the clock and sighed. Three hours had passed. When he’d sat down, his intent had been to concentrate on clearing his inbox before moving on to set up interviews for a burglary case that had come in overnight. But, all he could think of wasthe appointment he had after work tonight, picking up a cardboard box of ashes from the crematory.I’ll get her an urn. He hadn’t ordered one yet, wanted to see what the director recommended after all was said and done.
Claudia had been dead by the time he’d gotten to the shelter.
Judy told him Claudia had come in strung out and disoriented. She’d been settled into a cot,andJudy had gone tothe office to call him. By the time Judy had made it back to where Claudia was lying, she was dead. Just that quick, her light had been snuffed out.
Even as he’d climbed out of a taxi, Doug had known it was too late. Knew as soon as he caughtviewof the ambulance at the curb in front of the shelter, lights out while it idled, driver leaning against the side as he sucked on a cigarette. Theywere clearly in no rush, and Doug knew it was because there was no urgency to their travel.
The next morning, as ordered, he’d been waiting outside the captain’s office when the man arrived at the precinct and Doug followed him inside, closing the door. Standing at attention, he’d stared over the man’s head and let the wash of words flow over him without leaving an impression. Nothing this manhad to say would make a difference, becauseatsome point between hanging up with him yesterday and that moment in the captain’s office, Doug had come to a decision.
If you aren’t living life the way you want to, you’re the only one who can change. It was something his grandfather had once told him in response to a teenaged outburst about the unfairness of school, probably about how the coachdidn’t like him. So tiny in the overall scheme of things, Doug didn’t even remember what he’d complained about. But he’d never forgotten the strength in his grandfather’s voice as he’d given Doug the best advice he’d ever have.
The captain didn’t have any wisdom toimpart,unless you wanted lessons in how to line your own pockets.
“Tatum, I asked if you found your friend.” Belatedly he realizedthe captain had finished yelling at him and had moved closer, catching Doug in his moment of introspection.
“Yes, sir.”I found her. Even the memory of a homeless Claudia as she’d been when he first saw her was preferable to his last glimpse, her body pale and motionless, carried away by a rattling gurney into the depths of the morgue. Or the ridiculous vision of Claudia in her apron and oversizedhouse shoes. Anything except the slack muscles and empty shell left behind.
“She okay? You got her tucked in safe at home?” The man’s tone of voice implied what he thought of Doug and Claudia’s relationship. He leered, lifting both brows in a smirk.
Doug released a breath, feeling his chest sink, concave as he pushed it out to the end, then the stretch and burn of muscles when he pulled a hugebreath back in before answering. “She’s dead.” He pushed out another breath, edges of his resolve to make a change weaving together around him, helping hold him together.
“Damn, sorry to hear that.”
He ignored the fake solicitous tone, disregarded any attempt of comfort the captain intended to convey. “Is that all, Captain?”
“It’s not like she was family.”
Gritting his teeth, Doug left thequestion behind the statement unaddressed, the captain’s wondering what she was to him if she wasn’t family or his woman, not believing she’d only been a friend and roommate. An anchor, that’s what Claudia had been, something he’d needed without knowing, finding out the truth only after he’d been cut adrift again.I need out of here.“Captain?”
Silence for a moment, then a gruff, “Yeah, dismissed,”sent him towards the door. He pulled it closed behind him and surveyed the bullpen for a moment. No friends among this group of men, not one he trusted to talk to about anything, much less share about someone who’d mattered like Claudia.
Every footfall a retreat, he made his way between the desks, weaving to leave broad spaces around the clusters of officers and detectives standing with cupsof coffee in hand, their curious eyes tracking his progress.No allieshere. It was at that moment he decided to make a change. With that choice came an overwhelming sense of relief as if a thousand pounds had fallen away.
When Doug was a kid,copshad seemed a beneficent presence, the profession unassailable. Perfect and something he had wanted for himself. But now, the day-to-day reality ofbeing surrounded by corruption and vile attitudes was wearing at him, tearing at the ideals he’d carried for so long, and making itsoevery day was a slog. Not that he expected to live a life of comfort and ease. He’d been a hard worker all his life, and his ethics would never change. But he believed he could make a life he’d be proud of, even if it meant changing professions.If I’m not helpingpeople as a cop, maybe I need to look elsewhere for that.
He pulled out his phone and dialed, holding his breath as he waited. It was early, but unless the number had been disconnected, he expected to get an answer. Because that’s the kind of personheneeded right now. Someone who would pick up no matter the time, no matter if it was convenient or not. Someone to have his back, without takingeven a moment to think if it was politically advantageous.
“Tatum, how the hell are you?”
“Hey. If I were thinking of making a visit to the West Coast soon, would I be welcome?”
From halfway across the continent, he heard certainty in Joel Graham’s voice. “Anytime, brother. You need me, I’m here.”
