Page 49 of Cassie
“You’re dating Dad, and you’ve made him happy. First time in a long time. Do you know why?” At his question, she shook her head vehemently and he nodded. “Didn’t expect you to. Not really. But I overheard Dad talking to Uncle Tugboat a while ago. Then I talked to Tug. And I see from your face that’s unwelcome news. I thought you needed to know how he is. What it means to him that you’ve let him in, you know?” She knew she had paled, felt the first wave of dizziness break over her.No, not now.
“He shared with Uncle Tug what happened to you. Tugboat knew it had to be bad. With what you’d already told him and the way you acted, skittish and frightened in a way that told its own story? He knew it would have to be bad. And Dad shared just how bad.” He paused again and she saw him openly struggling with his emotions, mouth twisting to the side as he tried to keep control. “You sure I can’t come in?”
As if in a dream, she saw her hand reach out and unlock the door. Cassie took three quick steps backwards, until her shoulders hit the opposite wall. She watched in horrified fascination as the doorknob turned, and the door inched open, with first a foot entering her kitchen, followed by the big, wide-shouldered body of a professional athlete. “Thanks,” he said softly, twisting to shut the door. He faced her and settled his shoulders against the surface, hands tucked behind his back, staying across the room. Voice quiet, he told her, “I’ll stand here, by the door.” She nodded and directed her gaze to the center of his broad chest.
“Did you know I was taken from my mom when I was little? My...the sperm donor who tried to kill me before I was born came and kidnapped me, took me all the way to Alabama before I was rescued.”
Still unable to speak, she shook her head, but her eyes inched upward until her gaze met his. There was a warmth in his blue eyes that told her a lot of things. This man felt things deeply, and he was concerned. His eyes held so much concern she knew it was more than his dad, more than a memory of things that happened to him when he was small. He was concerned for her. A woman he probably didn’t even remember meeting all those years ago.
“Mama about lost her mind. And, Daddy? He did lose his until I was safe, and by safe I don’t mean out of that bastard’s hands. But until the bruises faded, until the woman I talked to for three years said it no longer dealt me any blows. I dealt with it because he took it on, protected me from the bullshit. Held me when my mom died. Held me while I held Faynez, told me without speaking that he had me.He. Had. Me. Without me asking, he did that. Because he cared, because he loves me.” He took a breath and she felt her lungs expand along with his, as if she’d held herself tight against what she knew was coming.
“He wants to be that for you. He knows he can’t fix it, although God knows he wants to. That’s gonna bleed from him every time he looks at you. Bleed. But, he can’t fix it, so he’ll settle for being there and holding on. Holding on so you don’t have to spend that energy, he’ll hold on for both of you.” He shook his head. “You might think you need to do all this on your own. That’s not true, you know? You can give some of it to him and he’ll take it. He’s strong enough to hold on, and he will. He’ll hold on because he needs you, and he’ll take you just as you are. Thought he wanted to fix you, which he would, because that’s just the kind of man he is. But you forgot he fell in love”—when he said this, her eyes closed, shutting out the pain in this boy’s eyes—“with the woman who freaked out. With the complex, frustrating, unbelievably strong and brave woman you are. His words.” He paused and she blinked, clearing the tears from her eyes so she could see him. “Cassie, he’s started painting again. He’s started living in ways that thrill the shit out of me and my sister. Because he needs beauty in his life and you are the most beautiful thing he’s ever held in his hands. His words to Uncle Tug. He needs you.”
Slowly, she became aware he had stopped talking and she had begun crying, somewhere in the middle of his words. Those words that underscored the thought that she had found something worth holding onto. “I love him,” she whispered.
“Yeah,” he whispered back, just as softly. “That’s clear. And he loves you, too. You just gotta keep letting him in.”
“I want to fix him.” Her words were scarcely loud enough to be heard, but he nodded slowly, eyes locked to hers. Even through her tears she could still see the caring he wore like a shield. “I want to keep him. All the time. He’s in my whole life. I won’t throw that away.”
“Even if you tried, I suspect he wouldn’t go far,” Sammy said, and she watched as the beauty of his smile broke across his face. “One phone call away.”
“What do I say?”
“Start with hello,” he advised and then grinned. “See where that takes you.”
