Page 12 of Service and Sacrifice
Pressing her palm against his chest, hecovered her hand with his. “Here?” Her fingers spasmed under hisand slid down an inch at his urging. “Here?” The grip on his necktightened and relaxed, nails scratching lightly at the base of hisskull. At his urging, her other hand slipped down another fewinches, nearly to his waist. “Here?”
“Alex.” He thought he could get used tohearing his name like she said it now, softly and filled with moreplea than complaint.
Fingers wrapped in the back of her shirt, hepulled her towards him as she arched instinctively, their hipsmeeting in the middle. Heat seeped into him everywhere theytouched, and Amanda’s lips parted when he pressed his stiff cockagainst her, breath speeding its way to a pant. “I got a want foryou, Amanda. I want you.” He knew this house was hers alone. Martinhad never been here. His ghost wouldn’t be waiting in any corner totrip her up. But Alex also knew she hadn’t been with anyone sinceMartin died, which meant her dead husband would be in her head. Hewanted to exorcise him before they got to the naked part of theevening so it would be just him and Amanda in her bed. “You want tostop at any time, for any reason, I’m not going to be pissed. Itreasure what we’ve got, what we’re building, and it’s worth thewait. I just wanted you to know that, honey. You’re worth the wait,if you want to put the brakes on.” He flattened his palm againsther lower back, grinding against her lightly. “I’ve played this outin my head a thousand ways, and not one of them disappoints, so nomatter how this goes down, I’m where I want to be. I’m not willingto lose you, any part of you. I like what I’ve got—and, Amanda, Ineed you, so don’t think you’ll run me off if you tell me notyet.”
“Silly man.” She tipped her head back andfound his eyes with her unflinching gaze. “You’ve been the oneholding back. I’ve wanted you for a long time, Alex Waterman.You’ll not get out of bedding me that easily.”
From her smile, she’d expected his snortedlaugh. “Bedding you? That’s how you’re describing what I wannado?”
“I want too, Alex. But the one way soundstoo crude for what I want to do with you.” She hesitated, and hesaw uncertainty in her expression before she shrugged lightly andfinished, “The other way to describe it, I’m not ready for.” Apause, so tiny it could have been missed, but he didn’t. “Yet.”
“Yet.” He echoed her word softly and shenodded. “But maybe?” Eyelashes brushing the rising red of hercheeks, she nodded. “Someday soon?” Her chin angled towards hershoulder, neck arching as she nodded a third time. “Where’s thebedroom, Amanda?” He gripped her hand and stepped back, pleasedwhen she swayed forwards against the loss of his body. A shorthallway led off the living room, and he angled that way. Two doorsbracketed the end of the hall, and at her direction, he opened theone on the left, towards the back of the house. Then they were inthe room, door closed, shades darkening the weak rays of thesetting sun, and he turned to her, lowering his mouth to hers.
Alex allowed his possessiveness and passionto roll through him, transferring to her with every touch as hestripped her bare. She stood before him, pale skin glowing in thelow light, and he made quick work of undressing, kissing herbetween movements and gathering her to him when they were bothnaked.
She groaned as his arms tightened aroundher, lifting, then sighed against his mouth when he swept thecovers out of the way and positioned her on the bed. Desperate forthe touch of her bare skin, heat blazing along every inch of him,Alex stretched out to cover her, his hips falling between her openlegs as he buried his face against her neck. “God, this. Justthis, Amanda.”
“Alex.” Her palms grazed his sides, onetraveling up, one traveling down, until her fingers curled aroundtheir destinations. She pulled as her hips lifted and he grounddown against her, rigid cock trapped between them. Her nailsscratching along his scalp, he went along when she urged his headto turn, and their lips met, mouths open and tongues tangling. Theykissed until breathless, until he was rutting against her, ridge ofhis cockhead pressing and rubbing against her pussy, her clit, wetand heat and Amanda all around him as he slipped and slid againsther.
He paused with a groan and muttered,“Condom.” Utterance as much a wake-up call for himself as aquestion for her, he didn’t expect any response.
“I’m on birth control.”
Alex lifted his head and looked down at her,hair spread across the pillows, pupils blown wide and dark withpassion. “You are?” That shy angle of her chin towards the point ofher shoulder made him understand, but he needed to know. “Forthis?” She licked her lips, puffy and reddened from his kisses.His, no one else’s.Mine. “Amanda, when did you go onBC?”
She raked her bottom lip between her teeth,cheeks again flagging red when she confessed, “Four monthsago.”
Two months after they started ridingtogether.
One month before she’d asked him in thefirst time.
Certain of the answer, he still asked thequestion. “For me?” She nodded, and he angled his hips to drag hiscock up between her pussy lips again, grazing across her clit. “Youwant this?” She stared at him for a long moment, then lifted andpressed her mouth to his, fitting against him as if they’d alwaysbeen together, as if there’d never been anyone before him.As ifthere’ll be no one after me. Determination filled him to makethat thought into truth.
He stroked up, then down, down, down untilthe head of his cock caught at her entrance. “I want no one butyou, Amanda.” On that proclamation, he pushed in, her tight heatwrapping around him, pulsing against his shaft as she quakedinside. In, then out, then in again deeper, repeat, repeat, untilan eternity later he was buried inside her. “You didn’t want to puta name to it earlier, but I’m gonna tell you right now.” He rockeddeeper, her hips rising up against him, drawing him down. “This isme making love to the woman I want to spend the rest of my lifewith.” She made a helpless sound, wound her arms around his neck,and pulled. Alex went easily, wanting nothing more than to kiss hersenseless as he loved on her.
They kissed as he moved over her, as shelifted and fell beneath him, as they came together in an act thatfelt natural and right, and something he wanted to do again andagain. Faster then, chasing her orgasm first, he pushed up on hisarms to look at her. He told her to touch herself, wanting to seethat, to feel how she tensed at the first tentative brush of herfinger against her clit, the heat from her hand between them, andcaptured her fingers in his mouth on a demanding suck afterwards.The tight clasp around his dick never lessened, the slick glideinto her wet heat never flagging.
Alex dipped his head and pulled her nippleinto his mouth, sucking hard and finding her so responsive there hebrought her to a second peak just before he lost control. Poundinginto her, the knowledge she’d be sore later had his inner cavemanroaring with pleasure at the idea that she’d feel him afterwards.Then something tipped inside, and heat that had been coiled andwaiting at the base of his spine rocketed through his chest andlimbs. Dancing sparks filled the edges of his vision and he kissedher through it all, groaning his pleasure down her throat. Her armsand legs wrapped tight around him while he plunged and thrusterratically, finally going deep and holding as his cock pulsed andthrobbed.
“God, Alex.” The strained murmur was thefirst thing he heard over the pounding of his heart. “I love you,too.”
Elbows braced on either side of her head, hestared down at her beautiful face. Strands of hair stuck to onecheek, she was covered in sweat just like him and looked sated andhappy. “You do?”
She pressed a clenched fist against herstomach. “I feel it here.” Palm spread over her chest, she said,“And here.” Her hand lifted to his face, fingers trailing throughhis beard before cupping his cheek. The graze of her thumb sweptacross his lips. “I love you.”
“I’m so fuckin’ glad. Nothing I wantedmore.” Leaning down, he dragged his lips along the edge of her jaw,pausing when his mouth was next to her ear. “You make me fuckin’happy, Amanda. So happy.”
Fifteen
Amanda
She shifted restlessly as she woke, sheets asilken glide against her legs. There was a huff of air against theback of her neck, and she smiled when a large hand landed on herhip, sliding along her skin until it cupped her breast. Heat allalong her back was testimony to a level of cuddling she hadn’texpected from Alex. His breathing settled again, slowing as hedrifted deeper into slumber. A glance at the clock on thenightstand revealed they’d only been asleep an hour or so, and shewondered what had woken her.
After not sharing her bed with anyone foryears, she supposed it could just be the novelty of having anotherbody in her space. She shifted again and sighed contentedly whenshe recognized the gentle throb between her legs. Alex hadexpressed a pleased surprise after round two, pulling her close andgifting her with more of his history. She hadn’t known about the EDissues, and the idea of him dealing with that alongside his PTSDwas troubling. He was a good man, the best, and deserved so muchmore.
Alex jerked, making a low, pained sound farback in his throat, and his hand slipped away as he rolled to hisback. “No.” The guttural refusal filled the room. “Fuckin’ no,brother.”
She turned to face Alex, keeping herdistance. Martin had nightmares sometimes, and she’d painfullylearned not to startle him awake.
