Page 13 of Service and Sacrifice
“Hold on.” Garbled and roughened withemotion, Alex’s voice sounded tortured. “I told you to hold on.”His hands worked into and out of fists, almost as if he were tryingto keep a grip on something. “Fuckin’ hold, man. Hold.”
As she had with Martin, Amanda tried toinsert herself into the reality playing out in Alex’s head. “Alex.You’re safe. I promise, you’re safe. You’re with me. You’re here,home, with me.” His head jerked to the side, closed eyes aimed herdirection, and his labored muttering paused for a moment. “Ipromise, you’re safe, Alex.”
His body seized, every muscle visiblytightening. Then the tension rushed out of him with a whoosh of airand he blinked at her before shoving to a sitting position. Wristpropped on his knee, he wiped at his face with his other hand. “Ihurt you?”
“What?” Amanda was disconcerted at his rapidawakening and immediate lucidity. Martin had always fumbled aroundin that half-sleep state for minutes before fully waking.
“Did. I. Hurt. You?” Alex angled his facetowards the door, away from her.
“No, Alex.” Amanda shook her head. “You weretalking was all. I just tried to help you wake. You didn’t hurt me,not at all.”
“You sure?” His voice was uneven, ragged andfilled with pain. “I didn’t hurt you?”
“No. No. You didn’t. Promise.”
“What the fuck are you doin’ all the wayover there, then?” His head swiveled and Alex stared at her, eyesreddened from the emotions he was still suppressing.
Amanda moved to him then, straddling hiships with her knees and wrapping both arms around his shoulders.Alex folded himself around her, face buried in the crook of herneck, and a moment later, she felt the wet there.
“I’m here, Alex.” Cheek pressed to the sideof his head, she held him tightly. “I’m here.”
It took a while, more than an hour by theclock, but he eventually was soothed by her touch, her mouth, herwords. The shaking in his limbs slowly faded until all thatremained was exhaustion. At some point they’d shifted around in thebed, lying on their sides, pressed close together. It was in thatposition, skin to skin, that he gave her his secrets. The men he’dsaved, forever altered by the cost of war. The men he’d lost, facesturning pale and gray under his gaze.
Their voices trailed to nothing, his storiescoming to an end followed by a final repeat of Amanda’s reassurancethat she was there, with him, always with him.
“Pretty heavy stuff for our first time.”Alex sighed deeply, the air in his lungs blowing out in a longstream over Amanda’s shoulder.
“Pretty heavy,” she agreed and tightened herhold when he would have moved away. “You’ve been carrying this fora long time.”
Silence greeted her statement before hishair brushed against her neck as he nodded.
She smiled with love for her strong, silentman. And then marveled at the thought that he was hers.He’smine. “I’ve got you, Alex. Thank you for trusting me to help.Let me carry it for a while.”
His great strength broke her grip, and heshoved back far enough that she could see his face in the dimlight. Alex stared down at her for a moment, his gaze darting fromone eye to the other, then dancing across her features beforecoming to rest on her lips.
“I’ve got you,” she promised, and Alexdipped closer. “I’ve got you.” This was softer, in deference to theproximity of his mouth to hers. “I’ve got you.” The final soundswere lost when he captured her lips in a deep, demanding kiss thatseemed to ask everything of her.
She offered the answer he seemed to belooking for, a quiet murmur against his mouth before he rolled ontop of her again.
“I’ll always have you.”
Epilogue
Amanda
“Baby, you ready?” Alex’s voice was slightlygruff as he leaned into the car, one hand on the roof.
She smiled at her reflection in the mirrorover the visor, then adjusted it slightly to the side. Bright greeneyes stared back at her from the back seat.
“Yeah. I’ll be right out.”
It had been three years since the ride thatchanged both their lives. Two years since they’d stood in front offriends at the courthouse and listened to the driest recital ofvows ever conducted, something they still laughed at, making fun ofthe fussy man with the bowtie. And it had been only three monthssince she’d watched Alex openly weep as he cradled their newborndaughter in his arms, his expression full of wonder and love.
She’d asked him last night if he wouldrather she go to the cemetery by herself this year, then laughedwhen he sounded affronted she’d even make the offer.
“What? Oh, hell no. No, baby.Meand Marty are comin’ with.”He looked up from his position on the floor next to their cooingbaby.
“I just know it’s not the most pleasantof days.” She shrugged.
