Page 8 of Lack of In-between
Methodically she removed her makeup in the adjoining bathroom, showered quickly to wash away the stink of fear-induced sweat, and redressed in her pajamas. It wasn’t until she was crawling into the bed that exhaustion hit her, making every movement harder than it had to be. Under the covers, she turned to her side and unlocked the phone just as another text came in.
The calls and voice mails were all from Jenn, so she shot off a quick text response that they’d talk tomorrow.Today, I guess. She shook her head.
The first text from Paul had come in only moments after she’d been successful in evicting him from her car. It was a brief demand that she let him know when she got home. The next couple were an attempt to set up a date, and she swiped and deleted those quickly, hating the hollow pain that speared through her chest.I told him I’m not interested in being with a cheater. She skimmed through the next dozen, which were ever more irate requests that she check in with him.
Rose rolled her eyes and pulled up a response. She’d gotten about halfway through a brief and highly edited message when another text came in from him.Jesus, Rose. Tell me you’re home safe. Answer me, please.
A fist pounded on her front door, and Rose rolled out of bed, landing on hands and knees on the floor, pulling the gun safe towards her. Her hands trembled so badly it took three attempts to seat her thumb on the identification plate, with the click as it finally unlocked a welcome sound. The pistol was in her grip, checked and cocked, when another round of frame-rattling thuds came. These were accompanied by a muffled voice. “Rose, dammit, open the door.”
Paul.
Heart in her throat, she shoved to her feet, stalking through the house to the front door. She peered through the tiny window to the side, verified it was indeed Paul, and unlocked the door, sliding the bolt and chain to free the door.
It swept open, and into the gap stepped the broad-shouldered frame of the man she tried to tell herself was the last person she wanted to see. But when he reached for her, ignoring the gun in her hand, and pulled her into a tight hold, she closed her eyes and gave herself over to the feeling of safety and comfort that seemed to radiate from him.
“God, Rose. I was scared to fuckin’ death.”
She turned her head, resting her cheek against his chest, the fast thumping of his heart directly underneath her ear. He shuffled her backwards, and she heard the door close and lock behind him. Rose relaxed into his arms and breathed, deep and slow, the bone-deep exhaustion beginning to creep back.
“I didn’t mean to worry you.” She hated knowing she’d caused him distress. “I wasn’t paying attention to the phone.” That was truth, and he didn’t need to know that at least a couple hours of that inattention had been spent in a fugue in her car.
“Scared me, baby.” She felt pressure against the top of her head, and the tiny smack of lips told her it was a kiss. “I imagined all kinds of things.” Rose tried to pull back, but his arms contracted, squeezing her tightly. “Lemme just have this for a minute, baby. Just this, promise.”
He moved, and she felt the unmistakable press of his hard cock against her hip. She was suddenly, acutely aware her choice of pajamas tonight was a pair of boy shorts and a tank top, both thin enough for summer. Her breasts were flattened against his hard chest, and the iron grip of his arms surrounded her. “Paul, I’m okay.”
“Oh, I know you are, baby. I got you right here, and that’s the only thing that’s gonna keep me sane.” He pulled in a deep, deep breath, then blew it out slowly. “I wanna talk for a minute before you kick me to the curb.” His chuckle was deep and rich, rumbling under her ear. “And I’d sure feel a mite more comfortable if you’d secure your weapon.”
She realized her arms had crept around him and the butt of the pistol was digging into his back. “Sorry.” She stepped backwards and he came with her, foiling her attempt to put space between them. “My gun safe’s in the bedroom.”
“Okay.” His agreement didn’t make sense until she was moving backwards, Paul steering them up the short hallway. Hers was the only open door, and he unerringly aimed for the dark opening. “You got a clapper or something?”
She chuffed a laugh at his reference to ancient technology, then called out, “House, bedroom light on.” There was a low tone; then the light on her nightstand flicked on with a quiet click. “One better, as far as I’m concerned.”
“I do not disagree. A clapper’d mean I had to let you go. This works in my favor.” Next to the bed, he glanced down and made an approving sound. “Nice little collection. Shoulda locked the safe up after you retrieved your—” He gripped her wrist and pulled it from around him, exposing the pistol. “Oh, nice. I’m a Sig Sauer fan, too.” She squatted and he crouched next to her, one arm still draped around her waist as if he couldn’t bear to be separated from her. “Walther P99, too. So precious.”
“Don’t tell me.” She unchambered the cartridge and pressed it back into the magazine before laying the gun back in its place in the safe. “You’re a Glock man?”
“Guilty as charged. I got one or ten.” He reached out and closed the safe, pressing the lid until it clicked and the light on the front flashed green, then amber. “Now, that talking.” Paul rose to his full height and drew her up beside him. “I’m thinking the bed looks comfy. But I want you right here.” He turned and sat, then pulled her between his knees. “Lemme ditch the boots and wallet, and I’ll be ready to sit a spell.”
It was awkward and foolish for him to work around her body to take off his boots, but he did it, not letting her out of the reach of his arms for a moment. His head brushed her breasts several times, and when she glanced down, her nipples were drawn into tight peaks not disguised by the thin fabric at all. From where he bent over, nose level with her crotch, he could probably smell her arousal, too. Still, he persisted, and only a few minutes later he was in the middle of her bed, back to the headboard, ankles crossed as he stretched his legs out.
Her fingers were twined with his, and when he tugged, she went, lying next to him. The anger and disappointment she’d been flooded with earlier was gone as if it had never happened. Rose bunched a pillow under her head and looked up to see him studying her intently.
“I know what happened.” He launched into his story without preamble. “I know what you saw, and I get what it could have looked like if you weren’t in possession of all the facts.”
“What did I see?” The lithe blonde in his arms, her head bent backwards as he leaned close. Rose shook her head. “I saw you and her.”
“You saw me and my ex-wife.” He dropped that bomb and let it lie there while Rose rocked with the explosion. “Colleen and I decided before my final deployment that when I got back, we’d divorce. We married because…hell, I’m not sure either of us know why we got married. But we did, and then Erika came along, and that seemed a good reason to tough it out.”
“Tough it out? That doesn’t sound good.”
He reached for her, fingertips trailing along the edge of her jaw. “It wasn’t.” His thumb slid along her bottom lip, tugging it to the side. “We weren’t good to each other. My fault as much or more than hers. But by the end, it could have been ugly. The fact we were such good friends was the only saving grace.”
“You’re friends with your ex-wife?” She pursed her lips underneath his touch, then pressed her lips to the pad of his thumb. “That’s noble. I can’t stand my ex. As in, I’d walk ten miles out of my way to avoid having to piss on him if he were on fire.”
Paul chuckled and shifted in the bed, sliding down and onto his side so they faced each other. “That’s disturbingly specific.”
“I’ve given it a great deal of thought.” She paused, deciding whether to give him the rest of the story or not, but then figured he’d earned it many times over. “He cheated on me. I was overseas as part of OEF; at that time I was at Bagram. We were supposed to have a video call, but when it connected on his end the camera was aimed at the bed.” Staring into Paul’s eyes was too much, so she lowered her gaze, focused on his throat. “Our bed. That he was in with a strange woman. At least it wasn’t someone I knew, right?”
