Page 134 of Outlaw Heartstrings
“Oh, honey. I hate seeing you like this,” my best friend says, her eyes boring into me through the screen.
“I…I’m fine, Jules,” I say, glancing down at what I’m wearing.
Easton’s hockey jersey and my stretched-out leggings have been my off-hours uniform all week.
I don’t look fine. I don’t feel fine. But maybe if I tell myself I’m fine often enough, I’ll eventually start to come around.
Laney appears on the screen, right over Jules’s back. “Is there anything we can do to make you feel better, babe?”
My shoulders lift then fall heavily. That’s the best response I can offer.
There’s so much pity on Jules’s face. It’s embarrassing. I’m down bad and there’s no way around it.
“Come over to our place,” my bestie suggests. “I’ll cook you dinner.”
I shudder. Because ‘Julissa’ and ‘cooking’ in the same sentence scares me.
“You’ll cook…dinner?” I dare to whisper as I enter my bedroom and close the door.
Jules pops off her mattress and starts digging around in the mess piled up on her dresser. “Yeah. I should have half of a chocolate bar around here somewhere. And I could throw some marshmallows in theair fryer. And we have graham crackers, don’t we, Laney?”
Oh boy.
Laney snatches the phone from her roomie. Thankfully. “Uh, how about takeout?”
“Ooh. Takeout. Sounds like a good idea.” Jules claps her hands together. “Maybe we can invite the rest of the gang and turn it into an impromptu girls’ night. What do ya say?”
My stomach growls. I haven’t eaten anything all day. But my appetite has been missing in action these days.
“I don’t have a babysitter,” is my weak excuse.
“No worries. We’ll bring the party to you.”
And thirty minutes later, my girls do just that. There’s a light knock at the front door, and when I open it, Jules and Laney are there, with my mom and Tammy on their heels.
“Where’s Monica?” I ask, an undeniable sting in my chest when I realize that Easton’s mom didn’t come tonight.
I thought that she and I were developing our own friendship, independent of my relationship with Easton. In this moment, I fear that she has cut me off as well.
“Monica’s in Sin Valley,” Mom tells me softly as we all settle in front of the TV to watch a movie. “She went back to be with Easton. Apparently, he’s not taking things too well.”
The sting in my chest grows into a soul-deep ache. Thinking that Easton has forgotten Jagger and me is one thing. But knowing that he’s hurting in any way over this situation? It guts me completely.
SOMETIMES THE GOOD GUYS BREAK YOUR HEART WHEN THEY AREN’T EVEN TRYING, Julissa’s T-shirt says tonight.
Damn. I feel that in my soul.
“And what about Raya?” she asks me.
I shrug. “Who knows where Raya is? If I had to guess, I’dsay she’s already left town. As usual, she just blew everyone’s lives up and disappeared. She didn’t even say goodbye to her kid. But is anybody surprised?”
I still can’t believe that my twin sister spun this huge, disgusting lie. She ruined so many lives and she doesn’t even seem to care. Meanwhile, I don’t know how to move forward.
“What do I do now?” I ask, my shoulders dropping in defeat.
“You do what you’ve always done,” Jules says. “You love Jagger and you take care of him.You’rehis mom, Alba. In every way that counts. You always have been.”
I nod solemnly. "Jagger is my life. He’s my everything. That’s not going to change.”
