Page 28 of Outlaw Heartstrings
His rough fingertips tickle my face, the tenderness in his touch almost breaking me completely as his gaze explores mine. It reminds me of why his friendship meant so much to me all those years ago.
He really is a good guy. And I did something so shitty to him.
“How did your parents take the news that Raya was pregnant?”
I snort, digging out a tissue from my purse and handing him one as well. “Not great. My father was mostly concerned with how much shame Raya had brought him. He never looked at her the same after that.” I take a breath. “As for Mom, she was surprised and disappointed, but that woman has so much love in her heart. All she cared about was creating a stable, loving environment for Jagger.” I shake my head. “But then after her marriage imploded, she didn’t have the strength to care for Jagger anymore.”
Easton’s eyebrows furrow. “And where’s Raya now? Why are you the one taking care of Jagger?”
I suck in a breath. “Sometime around Jag’s first birthday, Raya announced that she wanted to travel the world. She was planning to take Jagger with her. But she’d already shown how irresponsible she could be, so Mom and I knew that wouldn’t be the best choice.”
“Raya left our infant son to travel the world?” Easton’s eyes widen in disbelief.
My shoulders lift and fall heavily. “She went ‘exploring’. She said that she needed to ‘find herself’. She was only supposed to be gone a few months, but she’s been making excuses to extend the trip ever since. The last time I actually spoke to her, she was skinny dipping off of some privateisland in the Bahamas. That was at least three months ago.” I wipe at my nose.
“I can’t even wrap my head around this mess.” He blots at his eyes with the tissue then balls the paper up in his clenched fist.
“Trust me, I didn’t take the easy way out, Easton. I work three fucking jobs. They all pay like shit. And I’m taking my real estate course online. I’m exhausted all the damn time. But I have to do it. Because I am the only person I can depend on.” My voice cracks on the last word.
I need to shut up. I don’t want Easton to think I’m looking for a hand-out. But I do need a minute to vent. I need someone to listen. I’m just beginning to realize how much I’ve been bottling inside while I’ve been keeping up this brave face for all these years.
Another silent moment stretches over us.
“I’m sorry,” Easton finally rasps out. I blink, turning my head toward him. “What? What areyouapologizing for?”
He scrubs both massive palms down his face. “I’m sorry you had to do the past eight years on your own. That must have been hard. You were too young for something so big.”
My eyes start burning all over again. That is the last thing I ever expected him to say. I’m not exactly the victim here. I sniffle unevenly, trying to get a hold of myself.
“Thank you for saying that, Easton. I…I’m sorry for shutting you out and not giving you the choice to be a part of your son’s life. What I did was unforgivable. But you have to understand—I was trying to protect everyone involved. The choices I made, in hindsight, I’m starting to see that they may not have been the right ones. But I really was doing my best to keep everyone happy. I’m sorry I made assumptions.”
He’s quiet for a long while, looking up across the waterwith a contemplative expression on his face. Then he turns to me with a scrunched up forehead. “But wereyouhappy?”
I close my eyes as I process the question. “That’s not important…”
“Goddammit, Alba…” He croaks out.
My happiness isn’t important. Survival is. That’s the mindset that gets me through the moments that are really, really hard.
On a shuddering breath, Easton wipes at his watery eyes again. “Do you have a picture of him?” he asks hopefully.
“Of course.” I scramble around in my purse, finding my phone and pulling up the perfect photo of Jagger. He’s wearing a Sin Valley Saints jersey, beaming from ear to ear and holding an ice cream cone in his hand.
“He seems like a great kid,” Easton says, his eyes scanning over the picture.
“Oh, he really is. He’s so smart and adventurous and funny. He loves books. He’s going through a knock-knock joke phase right now. And heloveshockey like you wouldn't believe. He really is your number one fan.”
Easton’s eyes get all teary again, but he wipes it away quickly.
“I’m sure that him watching hockey was your doing?” he guesses.
I shrug sheepishly. I’m not going to admit that I became an Easton Raines super fan long before he even went pro. The man is talented—a demi-god on the ice—and I’m so proud to say I knew him way back when.
“We watch a lot of hockey in our house,” I concede with a chuckle. “But Jagger being your fan? That was all him. All…fate, I guess.”
A small smile touches Easton’s lips.
“So, what happens now?” I ask after another pause, trying not to sound as terrified as I feel.
