Page 40 of Rush
Savi sat there dumbfounded at her teammate’s fierce defence of her. No man had ever stood up for her likethat, even the man whose character was in question. She knew Marco was right, and it made it even more difficult to look her real boyfriend in the eye as her fake one rose from the table before their first course had been delivered.
‘Mars…’ she spoke softly.
‘No. I’m sorry, Savannah. I can’t sit here and listen to his bullshit.’ Marco pulled out some money from his wallet and slapped it down on the table. ‘That includes the tip. Thanks for flying us out here, Jesse. You put on a damn good performance.’
Marco left the restaurant in an explosion of anger, which may have been a little over the top but it was still valid. Everything he’d said was right, but Savi wasn’t ready to face it yet. To have a conversation with Jesse that could change everything. She’d got comfortable over the course of their relationship, and Marco had swooped in and uprooted everything she thought she knew about herself and what she wanted. Just with his observation.
‘Superstar,’ Jesse sighed, ‘this isn’t working.’
‘What?’ She frowned, hoping she’d heard him wrong. It was too soon for this. ‘What isn’t working?’ Savi stayed rooted to the spot, quite literally on the edge of her seat as she had been gearing up to follow Marco.
‘This. Us. Whatever the fuck we’re doing here.’ He laughed. ‘I mean come on, Savannah. You really want to be with me when people like Marco exist? That man could give you the whole world on a silver platter, and we both know I can’t.’
‘But that’s just the thing, Jess. You can but you’re actively choosing not to. Because, what? You can’t be bothered?You don’t love me anymore?’ She watched him take another sip of beer, rolling her eyes inwardly at his lack of ability to survive any social interaction without a drink. ‘What did these last four years actually mean to you?’
‘I thought we were a team,’ Jesse shrugged. ‘And then I realised, you’ve got a team. You’ve found your people. You don’t need me anymore.’
‘No, don’t put this on me,’ Savi bit out, anger rising through her body. ‘There’s no reason you couldn’t step up, treat me the way you so clearly think I should be treated by someone else. And it was never about needing you. The only person I will ever need is myself. Just admit that while I spent all this time choosing us, you were only choosing you.’
He shrugged again, adding to the unfamiliar bitterness she felt towards him. For someone who wasn’t ready to have this conversation, she was sure as hell feeling empowered the longer it went on. ‘Yeah, I guess,’ he replied, the beer bottle now half empty.
She held his gaze, wondering if he was going to add any more insult to injury. But as the seconds ticked by and it became evident he wasn’t particularly bothered, she came to the conclusion that in actual fact, this was the perfect time to have this conversation, and that actually, she was ready. It was just a crying shame that he had beaten her to it.
‘I think we’re better off as friends, Sav. I’m sorry. This feels like more of a friendship, anyway, these days. Maybe that’s all we were ever supposed to be.’
‘It feels like–’ Savi scoffed. ‘Who’s fault is that, Jesse?! You backed off without communicating! You stoppedplanning our future two years ago, is that how long you’ve had these doubts? Would you have said anything if Marco hadn’t exposed the cold, hard truth about the kind of man you’re incapable of being?’
‘I was waiting for that spark to come back,’ he mumbled, pulling a face like he was trying to gain some pity. It wasn’t going to work. She’d fallen for lie after lie, letting every excuse wash over her. And it had all been for nothing. Since when had the spark been missing? It was sure as hell there when the photos that got them into this mess in the first place were taken.
‘Waiting while doing absolutely nothing to help matters. Waiting, and wasting my time. Everything I’ve given you, Jess, all the hours I travelled when I was exhausted from working, moving my schedule around to fit in a video call, making sure you knew you were a priority. You never did the same. You let me do all of that, knowing you didn’t want this.’ She gathered up her things, aware that they were causing a scene but not particularly caring.
‘I’m sorry, Superstar.’ She felt nauseous at the mention of her nickname; one he had lost the right to use.
‘I don’t give a damn if you think you’re sorry or not. Do you know what the last few years have been? Bullshit. And I’ll tell you one thing, I’m glad Marco gave us a helping hand, because I can’t imagine wasting a single second more on you.’
She rose from her seat with every ounce of dignity she could muster, left her own share of the bill, refusing to let Jesse pay for her uneaten food, exited the restaurant and chased Marco down the street.
She spotted him way ahead of her, marching on ahead as she ran to catch him up. ‘Monaco!’
‘Savannah?’ He whipped around. ‘You didn’t have to come after me, I’m a big boy.’
‘We’re a team, remember?’ She placed her hands on her hips, trying to catch her breath. ‘And I’m not going to lie, after the conversation I’ve just had with him in there, I need my teammate by my side.’
‘Cowgirl?’ He held his hands out to her as her façade crumbled.
Savi looked up into his big brown eyes and swallowed back tears. ‘It’s over.’
‘Oh, Savannah…’ He frowned, pulling her into his arms. ‘Was it his decision, or yours?’
‘Uh… His? I think? I didn’t really try to stop him, though.’
She breathed a sigh of relief as he held her tight, letting her know she wasn’t alone even though she was miles away from everything she knew. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Not right now. I’m confused, and angry, and hurt. Also a little bit frustrated that I didn’t just have more time to process my own feelings after he abandoned me last night, because that might have been my own personal nail in the coffin. But no…’ she choked back a sob, ‘he called it first.’
They stood in the middle of the street, ignoring the frustration of everyone around them as they blocked the pavement. Marco threaded his fingers through her curls, playing with her hair and soothing her. ‘Tell me what you need, Cowgirl. Whatever it is, I’ve got you.’
‘I don’t know, I just know I need to get out of here, gosomewhere I don’t have to think about who I am or what I want. I was going to head back to Wyoming, but I don’t know that home is where I need to be while I get my head straight. I never thought I’d say that, but I can’t handle the smugness and theI told you so’s just yet.’
