Page 65 of Rush
‘My career could handle the blow if people realised it was me. I know Jasper would have my back, so would Gabriel. I’ll admit that I was scared when they first got released in the press, but I could handle the humiliation;these kinds of scandals happen to people in the public eye all the time and it’s soon forgotten about when the next big thing hits the headlines. But instead, Jesse used the situation as an excuse to keep me as his dirty little secret.’
‘And it also isn’t your fault that the paparazzi are so vile, so invasive. They took advantage of you both in the privacy of your own home, bypassed a whole security team for a decent pay day. That’s not on you, and fans and sponsors would take that into account.’ Marco pointed out.
‘I know you’re nothing like him. I just need to be sure that his actions haven’t fucked me up enough that I take you down with me.’ Savi took her boots and socks off, tossing them to the edge of the picnic blanket and standing up. She needed to feel the earth beneath her feet, and this brook was one of her favourite places near the ranch. It was serene. It made her feel like herself again.
Marco joined her at the water’s edge, his jeans rolled up to his knees. He looked ridiculous, but he looked peaceful the second his skin met the cool, clear liquid. ‘You’re too good for this world, Cowgirl.’
‘Tell me about it.’ She started wobbling her way over the pebbles lining the bottom of the brook, heading to the large rock that sat right in the middle. Once she made it over there, she felt like she was a million miles away from the outside world. She glanced at Marco who was cautiously eyeing the path she had taken. ‘Come sit over here, live out your mermaid fantasies.’
‘I don’t have mermaid fantasies, Savannah. I’ve seen footage of them before, you know when people claim they’ve spotted one? They’re terrifying.’
‘They’re edited.’ She rolled her eyes as he worked up the courage and got closer to her, finally settling on the rock and gripping onto her thigh for dear life as his feet lifted from the ground. ‘Youreallyliked Esme, didn’t you?’
‘I did.’ Marco nodded.
‘How did you get over her?’
‘I got under a number of other people,’ he laughed.
Savi blinked at him. ‘Is that seriously it?’
‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m not sure if that helped or hindered things. I’m just the kind of guy who thinks that what’s for you won’t pass you. That especially goes for soulmates. If you’re supposed to be with someone, it’ll happen. Sometimes the journey to get there is complicated and hard and it takes a while, but for the most part, I think it’s supposed to feel easy. And it wasn’t easy with Esme. It was all over the place.’
‘It feels easy with you. Almost too good to be true.’
‘Because you’re used to chaos and pain. It’s what you know, what you’re good at. My parents really set the standard,’ he said. ‘The way they love each other… half the time I think they’re on a different planet to the rest of us and their love is the only thing in the entire world that matters. The respect they have for one another, the way they support each other through absolutely everything no matter how big or small. It’s all I want in life. God, it’s more important than my career. To love and to be loved; it’s what I was put on this earth for.’
‘I grew up around that exact kind of love. My parents would die for each other, and it’s beautiful. It influenced the way I see the world. So why did I settle for less than that?’
‘Because you got the fairytale once. You got the racing career, then you got the contract of your dreams. You’ve found your home away from home with our team, given your family the ability to provide for Weston and keep a roof over their heads. You love hard. It’s who you are. And you loved Jesse, but as a result it means you’ve suffered. You’ve got to love yourself more.Letyourself have all the things you desire. If that includes me, then I’ll take it. But regardless of your choice in the end, I’ll respect it.’
‘I don’t think anyone’s ever been able to read me the way you do.’ Savi rested her head on his shoulder, wanting to be close to him physically but unsure of how to go about it without crossing those lines once again.
‘I’m just too good.’ Marco took her hand in his, giving it a squeeze.
‘Yeah, you are.’
27
Marco watched Savannah ride ahead of him, the midday sun casting a golden glow on her bronzed skin. She was ethereal and it broke his heart in two. Even now she had cut ties with Jesse, she still wasn’t going to be his. Not yet, at least. Maybe not ever. Everything he had said to her about her character rang true for him, too; he always suffered in the name of love.
It wasn’t a conscious choice he made time and time again; in fact, he had avoided women for years because he couldn’t be bothered with the heartache. But the first time he let himself get close to someone, he’d got hurt, and then the second, he’d somehow wound up being given permission to hold her in public but had to live with knowing that she belonged to someone else in private.
Except now he seemed to have convinced Savannah to believe that the only person she belonged to was herself and he risked forever being labelled the rebound, no matter how much she insisted he wasn’t. Marco was sick of being a rebound. He wanted the kind of love he and Savi had just talked about and while he was trying hard not to let himself get in too deep with his teammate, the harder he tried, the more he failed.
She was effortlessly beautiful, and watching her on the ranch, in her element, had only made him fall ten timesharder. Then there was last night. Pure bliss, the most intimate experience he’d shared with a woman. It might not have meant much to her, but it meant the world to him.
This wasn’t like it was with Esme. It felt easy even though it wasn’t supposed to be. This was not a straightforward love story, and it may forever remain an unrequited one. The only thing Marco was certain of was that he had to stick by her through thick and thin. They were a team far beyond the racetrack and that bond was unique; nobody knew what it was like unless they’d been in the same position. He had seen the real Savannah now, the one nobody else got to see. He cherished that, and he would learn to appreciate their connection in whatever form the universe wanted it to be.
‘You’re being too slow, Monaco!’ she called out from in front.
‘You’re an IEC rookie, you should understand I’m a rookie when it comes to all things cowboy! My hat doesn’t make me an expert, Savannah!’
‘Really?’ She pulled Mocha to a halt and Cappuccino panicked when Marco reacted too slowly, almost knocking the horses into each other. ‘I thought you were the next Buffalo Bill.’
‘Who?’ he frowned, calming Cappuccino down. She might be scary and unpredictable, but he was developing a soft spot for this horse.
‘Never mind,’ Savannah laughed. ‘Come on, we’re almost back at Mustang Ridge. How do you feel about a race?’
