Page 55 of Leo
It was late, both of us more exhausted than usual due to the hellish nature of the day.I wanted to climb into bed next to him, hold him, be held by him… I wanted to breathe in the scent of him, that peppermint soap he used that smelled like Christmas overlaying the warm, faintly salty tang of his skin.“I miss you,” I blurted.“Today sucked used ass and I miss you.”
He sighed, the sound soft and warm, pulling me down toward sleep as I imagined how it would feel for him to do that against my neck, my back pressed to his chest as we lay on that big, almost too soft bed of his.“I miss you too.I wish today had gone better.Hell, I wish people would stop being dicks to the kids.That would make our jobs a thousand times easier.”
I snorted softly.“When I was fifteen, I stole my dad’s car,” I said.“I was mad he wouldn’t teach me to drive.I was the youngest of my friend group and the others had their learner permits or even their licenses and I was the only one who hadn’t even had driver’s ed yet.So, I was a little asshole and while my folks were at some get together at the neighbor’s, I slipped back to the house and stole his little Honda hatchback.And then I wrecked his Honda hatchback by backing it straight into the power pole that was at the foot of our driveway.”
“Oh my god.”
“Yeah, pretty much what I said.And I was sure my father was going to actually murder me, right there in front of the neighbors, Mom, and God.But he made sure I was okay and called the insurance company and got the car squared away, then gave me the dreadedI’m not mad, just disappointedspiel.And then…” I closed my eyes, straining my memories to remember the sound of his voice more precisely.They’d been gone seven years; the accident that took them happened just after I graduated with my business degree—and it was sometimes hard to remember the exact timbre of his voice, or the way Mom’s laugh could sound like bells and birds and all the beautiful things at once.“I asked him what my punishment was, and he said nothing he could do would be more punishment than what I was doing to myself, and his job wasn’t to make my life miserable but to give me a soft place to land.And when they died, when I got put in charge of Bethany and being the adult in our lives, I remembered him telling me that and I told myself that’s what I’d be for Bethany.I just worry that maybe I tried too hard.I didn’t give her a soft place to land so much as I gave her a trampoline she bounced off of too hard sometimes.”
Leo was quiet for a long moment.“I must be exhausted because, as wonky as that allegory was, I understood it.”
I chuckled.“I have to get up for work in four hours,” I sighed.“And all I want right now is to have you here so I can sleep with my head on your chest and your hand on my back.”
Leo’s voice was barely above a whisper.“I want that too.So much.You’re my center,” he said with a tinge of something like wonder.“I thought, for the longest time, my center could only be one thing, only done one way, but it’s been disorienting to find out I can have more than one.”
“You’re a veritable gyroscope.”
His chuckle melted me from the inside out.“I’ll let you go to sleep then,” he said.“I should get some rest too.I need to get up early enough to rearrange some things so Edward can be with me in the office tomorrow while I sort out the school situation.I’m having an advocate from the regional branch of the Autistic Voices group come to the meeting with Webb and Tanner on Friday but until then…” He trailed off.“Well.He’s better off doing his schoolwork at a funeral home while I handle paperwork.”
Something about the word paperwork flipped a switch in my brain.“Oh!I forgot to tell you!Reba Howe stopped by when I was trying to get out to come get Bethany earlier!”
“That’s the reporter, right?”
“Yep.She ostensibly was coming in for a box of cupcakes to take to her office, but she said she had news for me.Her friend back home in New Jersey works for a publisher that specializes in cookbooks.”
“No!”Leo’s gasp was sharp and heartfelt.“They want you to write a cookbook?”
“It’s very early days yet but Reba had talked to her friend.She sent him links to those videos and a copy of her notes, and the guy wants to talk to me tomorrow and… Well, it’s a definite maybe.”I wiggled down between the sheets, my eyes gritty and hot from lack of sleep but my body unable to stay still while I thought about the possibility of a cookbook with the recipes I’d developed for Nice Buns.“And I’ve decided to start selling t-shirts and stuff with the shop logo Bethany designed, after talking with Reba.Apparently, niche and quirky logos are big sellers for some demographics.She was asking if we had anything other than a business card with the logo on it and, well, one thing led to another, and I also ended up with the name of a printing company that does a quick turnaround time on t-shirts and mugs.”
Leo’s laugh was a little blurry around the edges.“Think Sugar and Spice will finally back off now that you’re famous?”
I snorted.“We can only hope.I haven’t heard from them in a few days so maybe they’ve finally gotten it through their skulls that I’m not selling out to them.”
Leo’s smile was evident in his words when he said, “Fuck those guys.I’m so happy for you, Ambrose.”
His yawn was jaw-cracking and loud.“Fuck.Okay.I’m actually going now.Hey, if you have the time tomorrow evening, why don’t you and Bethany come over and I’ll make dinner?Celebrate your possible cookbook and, you know, the fact that we made it through our craptacular days together?”
“I’ll bring dessert,” I yawned.“I know where I can get three dozen rude cupcakes someone ordered for a funeral.”
“Oh my god…”
CHAPTER19
LEO
Friday,just a few days after following Bethany’s attempt to run away, Ambrose was up to his neck in dealing with the school and how they were handling Bethany’s bullies.“Maybe I should homeschool her,” he mused one night when we’d eked out some time to see one another.Bethany and Edward were looking for some specific sort of moth by the back porchlight, and Ambrose was stretched out on my sofa, feet on my lap as we watched them through the living room window.“At this point, it feels like a good option.”
“Wouldshewant that, though?”I asked.“She talks so much about poetry club and her friend, Mika, she might resent it if you took that away from her.Even,” I said when he started to protest, “if you think the net good outweighs the loss.”
He grunted, stretching his toes and sighing as I dug my thumbs into the arch of his left foot.“I don’t know,” he sighed plaintively.“The school doesn’t seem interested in punishing Taylor and his buddies, and that apology they made him give her was bullshit.”
“How’d Bethany handle it?”
“Since he had to do it in front of his parents and me and the principal, she said thank you and that was that.But I don’t trust that kid, you know?”
“Did they give her any options?Like changing classes or something?”
Ambrose snorted, eyes still closed.“The counselor suggested she bring her schoolwork to the counseling hall and do it there instead of sit in the classes she shares with Taylor and what’s-her-face.Bethany turned that down with a quickness.”
