Page 22 of After Life
“Well, thank you,” I laughed. “I miss you, you prat.” The admission, while not a surprise, was definitely one I hadn’t meant to make aloud. My face felt warm at that, and Ezra’s startled silence made me want to just cover my head with a pillow.
“I miss you too,” he said gruffly. “Harrison kept asking me if I’d make him bring me to that island of yours yesterday,” he said with a small chuckle. “He was worried I’d wither up and blow away without you in proximity.”
“Ah, well, here we are. Alive and well and in one piece. Well. Two pieces. Tell me about the trip so far and spare me no details. The last time we were in New Orleans was to meet with Jacob. I’m hoping this trip isn’t as fraught.”
“Did you know,” Ezra said, stretching out on the bed, the rustle of sheets clearly audible, “there’s actually a streetcar named Desire?”
“After the movie or is the movie named after it?”
“No clue, mate. But I got to ride on it last night.”
We fell into an easy chatter and for a few minutes it felt like there was no distance between us at all. It was only when Harrison returned to the room and Ezra told me to ‘hang on a tick’ that I felt a sort of glum sadness creep in around my seams. It wasn’t jealousy—I was thrilled he and Harrison were getting on. Ezra truly cared about the man, and he seemed to return the sentiment. Ezra, I knew, needed someone who wasn’t me in his life. And logically I knew that didn’t diminish our bond, but I couldn’t help but feel a little strange that he was there, and I was in South Carolina, and we weren’t in one another’s pockets like we’d been for years.
And he didn’t seem bothered at all.
But do you want him to be? I mused as he had a muffled conversation with Harrison. Or do you just want the reassurance he still loves you too?
“Hey,” Ezra said breathlessly. “Harrison made reservations for some fancy place, so I need to go get suited and booted. Call you tonight?”
“I’ll be around,” I said. “Don’t forget your manners.”
“Never. Oh! Wait a sec—are you guys staying through the hurricane then? I saw on the news one was heading right for you. Are you going to head back to the mainland or—”
“We’re riding it out,” I said. At his dismayed noise, I clicked my tongue softly. “Oi, I’m in good hands. Julian’s been through these sorts of storms, and this house has been here for centuries, through more of these things than I can count. We’ll be okay.”
“If you get washed out to sea, I’m never forgiving you.”
“Understandable. Now go scrub up. Harrison’s never seen you looking nice.”
“Oi!”
“Love you, you arse.”
“Your mum loves me.”
“Dude!”
He hung up, cackling. I felt lighter, having talked to him for a bit, and was glad for it. While Julian and I seemed to be back on our feet, a dose of Ezra went that much further toward making me feel like myself. Shrugging out of my waistcoat and cravat, and, feeling a bit fancy, slipping a banyan over my untucked shirt, I headed downstairs to find Julian. It didn’t take very long—I just went where the books were. “Hey,” I called softly as I pushed open the study door. “Are you free?”
He looked up from the small book he’d been studying, a look of relief crossing his face and making me feel a tad guilty. “Oscar. I thought maybe you wanted some time on your own so I just...” He shrugged. “Sorry?”
“It’s okay,” I murmured, easing into the room and closing the door behind me. “Um, about earlier...”
“I’m sorry,” he blurted. “I should’ve told Sandra to leave us alone and I’d talk to her at a different time. When we came back,” he said, standing to move around the desk and close the distance between us, “I really want to just go upstairs with you and”—he sighed, face coloring in endearing embarrassment—“hold you, actually. Just take some time to actually be together without anything else pressing.”
I nodded slowly. “I was hurt,” I admitted, holding up a hand when Julian started to speak again. “Let me finish, okay? I was hurt and it sucks, and I just want you to know that, alright?”
He nodded, casting his eyes down and looking miserable.
“Oi, listen though, I’m not telling you not to talk to her or whatever. I just... I just want to feel like you see me too, alright?”
His gaze snapped up. “I see you,” he whispered. “I always see you, Oscar.”
The kiss was bittersweet at first, both of us still smarting, but it melted into something warmer, lovely and close as we stood in the study doorway, just kissing and swaying together until the clatter of dishes told us Sandra was making dinner and our affectionate pursuits would need to wait a bit longer. “Come on,” he smiled against my temple. “Let’s eat so we can have energy for later.”
AFTER DINNER, WE RETREATED to the study. Julian stretched out on the sofa in front of the driftwood fire, his feet propped on the arm while he thumbed through Rites and Rituals of the Carolina Seacoast Wreckers. “This is so weird,” he muttered. “I wonder if I can find a copy on eBay or something when we leave here. I’d love to add it to my collection.”
“What is it?” I murmured.
