Page 8 of Dibs
“You get cozy. I’ll grab your suitcase. I’m taking your extra room key, and I’ll be right back.” Deacon hands me cold water, commands me to drink it, and then he disappears. Shrugging off my bra, I climb into bed, tugging the sheet up slightly. My head spins as I finally close my eyes and drift off.
A few minutes later, I feel a presence and open my eyes. They take a while to focus, but I sit up after realizing Deacon’s at my bedside.
“Hi.”
“Take these,” Deacon orders, handing me three pills.
Obeying without a second thought, I swallow the pain reliever with the rest of my water, realizing suddenly I am topless, sitting up against the headboard on full display for Deacon.
“Shit,” I groan, pulling the sheet up and giving Deacon an apologetic look. “Oh, thanks for not letting me fuck Anders.”
“You’re welcome. Do you want me to grab your pajamas?” Deacon asks, but I’m too tired, so I just collapse on the bed.
“I’m nearby. See you in the morning. I have your spare room key, so I’ll get you up.”
“Stay,” I whisper, not wanting to be alone tonight.
“No. Not with you half-naked.” Deacon laughs. “I don’t want anyone to think I took advantage of your drunkenness. That’s not the kind of man I am.”
“Iknowwhat kind of man you are.” It’s nearly a whisper.
Deacon is the perfect man. All-American, tall, athletic, intelligent, and charismatic, with a great sense of humor. His body looks like he’s spent his life in the gym, but nothing could be further from the truth.
Deac is all about the outdoors. He loves rock climbing, flag football, and pickup hockey games in the winter. Naturally athletic, always on the move, down for whatever, whenever, when it comes to sports and outdoor activities. And I could be counted on to make lots of hot cocoa for those hockey games, or lemonade in the summer. Rock-climbing, well, no thanks. I’m not up for scaling mountains—I’m not nearly that kind of adrenaline junkie, though I will happily hike up one.
“Then you already know I’m going to park it here in this chair, wait twenty seconds for you to fall asleep, and come back with more aspirin for you in the morning.”
I smile, already knowing that’s the case, and then turn to my side, facing away from him. Feeling secure and warm, a dreamless sleep captures me.
6
DEACON
It’s 3 a.m., and I can’t sleep. I’m too busy having all these feelings that I should not feel for a woman who belonged to my best friend until yesterday. She hadn’t helped matters by sitting half-nude in my presence, making me confront those pesky feelings. Maybe I can blame it on hormones, but I’m not a pubescent boy. Blame it on the magical wedding making me feel all romantic and shit.
What I feel is wrong on so many levels.
My dick is hard, either again or still, I’m not sure, but when I close my eyes, it’s Beck’s dusky-pink nipples and round, perky breasts I see in my mind, and my stomach swirls with disgust at myself.
It had taken everything in me to exit her room after she fell headlong into a deep sleep, snores and all. And yeah, I’m a good guy, but the temptation had been great. My ass remained in that chair, staring at her slim, muscular back for nearly an hour, guarding her and pondering my feelings for her. Now sleep won’t come.
I feel restless and confused. To some extent, I must admit to myself that these feelings have always been inside me; I’d justburied them deep enough, I thought they would never surface. But now that Beck is a free woman, the adoration I feel for her clobbers me over the head. Though, I know I can’t let on what I feel, especially during this vulnerable time in her life, when she’s heartbroken over Sean’s infidelity and overall douchebaggery.
The truth is, I want to break his neck for what he’s done to her in their entire relationship. I’d never seen a woman so faithful, so loving, as Beck had always been to Sean, and that fucker hadn’t deserved it from the first second they met. He’d done nothing but fall short of deserving her every moment of their relationship. Between his hectic on-call schedule he couldn’t help and total lack of giving a shit about her being at home waiting on him, Sean was unavailable and unreliable at best.
I can’t count the number of times Sean went out with the guys to hit the bars or clubs and flirted excessively with other women. Danced with them, far too close, touched them intimately, all while ignoring Beck’s texts. I made a habit of letting Beck know when we were leaving at night, which annoyed Sean in case he wanted to keep the party going somewhere else. Or with someone else. At her place, of course, never his.
I’d suspected he cheated—not once or twice, as Beck seems to think, but frequently. It’s a struggle not to blame myself. I should have told Beck to stop wasting her twenties on Sean, should have told Sean more often to be better, but I just hung back and let it play out. Now I feel like a piece of shit about it.
Someone should have been looking out for Beck. Putting her first.
So, I will, from now on.
Finally, merciful sleep gives me a reprieve from my self-flagellation.
When my alarm goes off a few hours later, I brush my teeth, comb my hair, and throw on slacks and a light blue button-down. I grab the aspirin and another water out of the minibar, and I let myself into her room right across the hallway.
Beck’s on top of the sheet, mostly naked except for a pair of skimpy panties, and I don’t know how to look away. Still, I try to be noble. Reaching for the blanket rolled up at the bottom of the bed, I pull it up over her and set the water and three more pills on the bedside table. Next, I grab her phone and set an alarm to make sure she doesn't miss the going-away brunch.
