Page 53 of Rejected
Jo observed the scorn curling the corners of his mouth with affected apathy. She had not noticed the subtle changes the war had already wrought on him before, but she was beginning to now. His skin had turned golden from the Peninsula sun, and he had had his hair cut short, but he wore a wig, which he’d flung to the nearest settee as soon as the servant was out of earshot.
He did not look like her little brother anymore. He looked like a soldier. A general, if his uniform was to be believed. It still seemed like a lie to her: My brother is going back to the war. He might not come back.
Justin was watching her with those electric blue eyes of his. She had never seen him so alert, so… awake. Then he shattered the illusion by lifting a hand dismissively in the air.
“Listen, that’s not what I came to talk to you about. I came to warn—to prepare you.” Jo had never heard her brother stumble over a word before. “There is a piece of news I became aware of. I… I received word from Paris.”
“Oh?” Jo’s immediately thought of the little billet she had received a few weeks ago. Her stomach twisted nervously. “Amy.”
Justin nodded. “She has gotten herself engaged,” he said.
It felt as if someone had cut off the air in her throat. Amy had gotten engaged and had not told her.
“I am sure she will write of it soon,” she said, her own voice coming to her as if from a distance.
‘I have betrayed you. Forgive me.’
Was that what that cryptic, silly little note had meant? But why betrayal? And why would her sister not be forthcoming with the news?
Justin was shaking his head. He had gone a tad pale, she noticed now, and looked anxious, as if he were about to impart more bad news. But what was left? What else was there to break her heart more?
“You’d better sit down,” Justin said, his voice thick with more kindness than she had thought him capable of.
“Tell me, Justin.”
“It’s Laurie,” her brother said, his gorgeous face twisted into a mask of concern. “He is in Paris as well. Amy and Theodore are engaged. I’m sorry.”
…
Jo did not know how much time passed. She just sat there, in front of the fire, frozen. When she looked up with blurry eyes, she was surprised to find her brother standing by the wall. Watching her. Waiting.
“How much time has passed?” she asked.
“No more than seven hours,” Justin replied with something akin to gentleness in his voice. “Eight at most.”
Jo sat up quickly. It was dark outside. She had no real memory of the passage of time.
“You’ve stayed here the whole time?” she asked him. Justin nodded as if it was a matter of course. “You needn’t have,” she murmured. “You only have a few days’ leave, you should be spending it with your friends, in London, you should—”
“I only took my leave of absence to come here, to you,” Justin said. “I did not want you to be alone when you learnt of it.”
I will not cry.
“Thank you. Although I do have Meg and the Sainted John.”
“They do not know,” he said simply.
Jo shivered. “Oh and you do?” she scoffed. “You remember what I confided in you that day you were drunk off your head, and about to duel a man to death?”
“I do,” Justin said simply. “The rest of the day is quite a blur. That piece of information was too, for a time, but eventually, I remembered.” There did not seem anything more left for him to say. “I’m sorry.”
“Yes, you said that.” Jo rubbed her eyes—they were burning, even though she had not shed a single tear. “You’re right; I have not had the courage to tell Meg. You are the only one who knows about L-Laurie and me.” It was hard to say his name for some reason. Maybe because she hadn’t said it for so long. Also, because now it belonged to someone else.
To… No. She couldn’t even think about Amy.
All she could think about was Amy.
“Do not tell anyone about this. About him and me. Ever,” she commanded her brother. “It will be as if it never happened. I order you to forget it.”
