Page 64 of Rejected
Laurie: “We will fight it with more light.”
Me: “What if you no longer want me?”
Laurie: “Impossible. But I am sure that I shall fall in love with you the minute I see you again.”
Me: “What if I cannot change for the better?”
Laurie: “I don’t want you to change. I wantyou.”
Me: “What if I ruin everything?”
Laurie: “I think I’ve already answered that one, but I can answer it again. You won’t, Jo. But if you do, then we will make everything right again. You and me. Together.”
Imagine having that conversation with your fiancée, ad nauseum. How the poor man is not running for the hills is beyond me.
I am getting married in the morning, have I told you that?
I wish you were here. It is going to be the happiest day of my life. I am getting married to my best friend, who also happens to be a gentleman of impeccable manners and unparallelled kindness, as well as an excellent specimen of a man. That last part is not my opinion alone, but the collective consensus of all the unmarried women of the past season, it seems.
No one ever believed I would marry, least of all me. Let alone marryhim.
He is all my dreams wrapped up in one—everything I ever wanted and I could never deserve.
And yet, all I can think of is that I miss my sister.
Eternally,
Jo
twenty-six
On the early hours of the morning of her wedding, Jo stayed awake until two writing to her sister. When she was done, she got up and put on her thickest glove and cloak. She had never gotten dressed for bed—she knew she would be getting little to no sleep anyway.
It was February and the ground was frozen, but that had never stopped her from climbing the fence to the Lowry estate and sneaking into the evening parlor’s window. As she had guessed, Laurie wasn’t asleep either.
The minute the latch fell, the wind greedily snapping against the glass, Laurie was on his feet, a look of pure hunger in his eyes. He took her in his arms and lowered his head to hers.
“Wait,” she said, and he stopped short of kissing her.
“Jo, if you think I’m letting you go now, you are out of your mind.”
“Shh!” He chuckled, his chest rumbling with the happy sound. “I came here to think.”
“Never known you to do that before,” Laurie joked, but when he saw she wasn’t responding, he waited quietly.
Jo had had an epiphany while she was writing, but it was too great to bear alone; she had come to him. Lately, it was so much easier to realize things about herself when she could share with him. He was better even than writing, drat him.
“I have seen it,” she said.
“Seen what, love?”
“The future,” she replied. “This is what the future could look like.” Her voice was quiet, full of wonder. If this was a dream, she never wanted to wake. “Us riding together, reading together, swimming, climbing trees, spending every minute of the day together if we so choose. Doing all the things we want and none of the things we don’t. Tackling life’s sorrows and joys with you by my side. Helping you and being helped by you. All of it. With you.”
Laurie was nodding, but his eyes had turned red-rimmed and sparkly, as if with unshed tears. Unlike her, he had not been sitting in complete darkness—there were candelabras aplenty around him, illuminating the room in a soft, yellow light. With him in it, the room did not look lonely, but cozy; the howling wind outside was not a harbinger of doom but a melody of joy.
“You know, Teddy, you were the one who gave me a place in the world when none existed,” Jo went on. “And now… After tomorrow, we get to live in that place, together, the two of us. Is that what the future is going to look like? When I’m married to you?”
He nodded again, looking so overcome by emotion he could barely speak. His hands tightened around her. “That is but a pale shadow of what reality is going to be, love,” he said when he was in command of his voice again. “We are going to create worlds together, you and I. Entire worlds, Jo.”
