Page 18 of Craving You
“There is a meeting that one of us has to attend in Seattle.I have meetings here, so I am sending you with Remy,” he says.“It’s in two weeks.Does that work?”
“Uh… yeah,” I say, making note of what he is saying.“I’ll find reservations.”
“Okay,” he says to me before continuing with everyone else.I try to focus, but my thoughts keep drifting back to last night.I do my best to take notes, but the meeting is over and I have done nothing but sit here and stare at my computer.
As soon as people stand up and start to leave, so do I.I need to get out of this room before I implode.I grab my stuff, leaving my coffee, and rush back to my office.I kick the door open, even though both Remy and Cam have a key.I try to fill in the blank spots of memory of the meeting, but I fucked up.I’m fucking everything up.
“We need to talk,” Cam says as he walks into my office.Remy is in the doorway but says nothing.
“What?”I snap.
“I think it’s best that you go home,” he says simply.
“Fine,” I scoff and stand up.I pick up my bag and he steps in front of me.“Move.”
“What has gotten into you, Lorelei?”he asks.
“A lot.That’s the problem,” I say vaguely, pointing toward my assumption that I am a whore.
“You didn’t write a single note.You didn’t hear a word anyone said.You have a massive attitude.What’s wrong?”he asks.
“Am I fired?”I ask.
“No, Lori,” he sighs.
“’Kay, I’ll be here tomorrow then,” I say as I push past him and go to the door.
“Lori,” Remy says, glancing at Cam.
“Stop.”
“You need to…”
“Move,” I snap.
“Tell him or I will,” he says simply.
“Fine,” I say as I face my brother.“I worked in a strip club through college, but I never quit.I started letting men pay to fuck me.Friday night, a regular client brought friends and they hurt me.I tried to stop it, but there were three of them.I got myself raped because I’m a fucking idiot.One of them hit me, so that’s why my eye is red.Makeup is covering the bruise he left.Happy?I can’t get it out of my head.I can’t stop thinking about it or the fact that I’ve ruined myself and now everyone deserves better than me, and there is nothing I can do to change it.There is nothing I can do to go back and convince myself to not cover up my pain by letting men use me.”
I turn back to Remy and he steps out of my way.I take this opportunity to practically run away and get to the elevator.I manage to make it back to my car before bursting into tears.I’m so mad and sad all at once.I need to get out of my head.While still crying, I search for the studio near my apartment and call them.I take a deep breath and call to rent out the space.
Iamsittingonthe floor with my back against one of the mirrors, staring at the pole.I rented the space every evening to make sure it’s free for me to use when I want.After I talked to the owner, I went home and slept for a while before just watching television.I ended up turning my phone off because everyone kept calling me and I just don’t feel like talking.
Now, it’s late at night, and I can finally get out of my head.I have spandex shorts on and a sports bra so that it feels normal.I usually have next to nothing on, but they obviously require clothing.I tap on my phone to turn the music on and approach the pole.
Chapter Eight
Remington
“Shestillnotanswering?”Cam asks.
“No,” I say.“I called the studio by her apartment, and she signed the contract to rent it out today.She will probably be there tonight.”
“I’m worried about her,” he sighs.
“She’s okay,” Tris says.
“I don’t know,” Cam says.
