Page 108 of A Bond so Fierce and Fragile
From when he was a child, he’d always known he didn’t fit in, that there was something about him that was off—that set him apart from the humans around him. It hadn’t just been that he was born to the town whore or that everyone knew and pitied him for how his mother mistreated him.
There had been something else.
An otherness.
It was why he’d recognized it so quickly in Lessia.
He’d seen himself in her.
“She can’t hurt me,” Loche growled when Kerym continued to argue and Soria’s hand on his arm tightened its grip. “I don’t care what you call me or how much you hate me. I only want to understand why you are spearheading this damned rebellion and how I can get you to stop.”
“Such impatience… I’d heard as much about you. But it all ties together, you see.” Meyah tsked. “You were such a disappointment, I had no choice but to set you on this path.”
“On. What. Path,” Loche gritted between clenched teeth.
He was losing his patience, and despite what he hoped he displayed outwardly, Meyah’s words were finding a way through the thick armor he thought he had built around his heart.
Like needles, they weaseled their way through his skin, pricking him where it hurt the most, accompanied by his mother’s voice, which loved to echo in his thoughts whenever he doubted himself.
Another woman who doesn’t love you.
Because you’re worthless.
Loche set his jaw harder at the voice in his mind.
“Remember who you are, regent.” Soria’s voice was so low that Meyah couldn’t hear her.
Moving his eyes to her blue ones, Loche drew a breath.
Then another, until his chest moved rhythmically again and he could focus his eyes on his mother once more.
Meyah opened her mouth as if no time had passed, as if she hadn’t noticed how Loche had nearly lost it, and his forehead creased for a moment.
But he didn’t have time to ponder it before Meyah spoke again. “You must have wondered by now why you’re not a shifter?”
He had, but he remained quiet.
“So useless, even from birth.” An exasperated rush of air left the shifter, and the Fae behind her moved for the first time as she began walking back and forth.
Like shadows the half-Fae followed her every step, even as the one with long hair kept his gaze on Kerym and Thissian, who in turn watched Loche with expressions that turned more horrified for every vile word leaving Meyah’s mouth.
Zaddock, however, didn’t throw Loche any pitying looks—perhaps because he knew him too well, or because he was too preoccupied with tracing every movement of the pale Fae.
“I at least hoped you’d help grow our people when I found out I was having you. But no… you’re a halfling without any powers. You’re rare, you know? Most half-shifters can at least shift intooneother form. But not you. No, I tried everything. Throwing you off the roof to see if you’d sprout wings like the birds nesting outside our house. Nothing. Casting you into the water to see if you’d develop gills to breathe. No, I had to get you out, as you only sank and stopped breathing.” The expression on the shifter’s face was so disgusted that Loche couldn’t stop himself from staggering back.
He fucking hated himself for it.
He was used to this, he reminded himself. People despised him, and that was all right. That was how he’d convinced himself he’d be all right when he forced Lessia away; he’d not known warmth before her, and he believed he could just return to that.
But he’d been so wrong.
“When I realized you were no shifter, I had to devise another use for you.” Meyah halted so abruptly that the Fae walking a half step behind her nearly stormed into her. “Did you not think it strange that Geyia took you in that first time she saw you? A shifter shunned by everyone? I was the one who convinced her to—although she never truly knew why, of course. She’s notstrong enough either. Not like me. But she would care for you—she’s strange like that—and I knew we needed to get you into the best possible position for our cause, and what better than by ensuring you had some empathy for our kind? And look what we did!” Meyah threw out her hands. “You’re the regent! I knew you’d do well in the navy—you at least gained the strength and the build of a shifter—and as soon as we started feeding you all that information? You have a bit of my cunning in you. I didn’t think you had enough spine to stand up against us, though. Not after Geyia’s weakness and mushiness… But I guess it worked out in the end anyway. Because here you are—begging for me and my people to stand down. Begging for my mercy when you should fight beside us.”
Loche only stared at her, unable to meet the gazes of the others, which he felt locked on his face.
His entire life… was a lie.
He hadn’t done anything.
