Page 25 of Never Really Mine
“Marley,” Beau coaxes, spinning me so I face him, cupping my cheeks in his hands. “Stop it. Neither of us are at fault.”
Breathing heavily, I stare into his eyes. Inside of his gaze I see no fear, no anger, just pure adoration. The same look he gets on his face when he tells me he’s proud of me.
“We’re having a baby,” he murmurs. His eyes shine and his lip trembles.
“We’re having a baby,” I repeat, the words finally sinking in. The reality hits me, and it’s no longer the sheer panic of what might happen between Beau and me for our future, but the panic of realizing I’m carrying a baby. Beau’s baby. Tears freely fall from my eyes, down my cheeks and fall to my sweatshirt. “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry,” I admit.
“I’m right there with you. Fuck, Marley. I… wow.”
I press a palm to my sweaty forehead. “What do we do now?”
Beau leans down, kissing my lips with the gentlest of pressure, our salty tears mingling together. “Now, we talk. Really, really talk.”
16
BEAU
Ipush Marley’s hair back behind her ear, and stare into those gold-brown eyes which are so captivating, so torn between emotions.
“Come on,” I say, pulling her out of the bathroom, leaving the positive pregnancy tests on the counter. I bring her back to the couch, opening the blanket for her to sit. “Stay,” I order, pointing my finger at her. If she wasn’t feeling so crummy, I’m sure she would fight me, but thankfully, she’s content to lean back, and wrap herself in the fluffy navy blanket.
I head into the kitchen, monitoring her at all times, satisfying an inherent need to make sure she’s okay. I take a glass out of the cupboard, fill it with ice, and grab the ginger ale from the bag. I pop the tab open and pour it into the glass, listening to it fizz.
I grab the other things I purchased at the store, a pack of ginger candy and saltine crackers. Heading back to the couch, I take in Marley. The direction of our lives has changed so drastically in the last hour, but yet… I don’t feel panicked. I don’t feel out of sorts or a mess. I feel… steady, like I have a purpose. To take care of Marley and our baby. To care for them and keep them safe.
“Here, try this,” I say, offering her the glass. “It might feel good on your stomach.”
She takes the glass, and sips it cautiously. ‘‘Thanks.”
I sit down beside her, resting my hand on her thigh. “How do you feel?” I ask.
“Mentally? Or physically?” she asks in return.
“Both,” I suggest, offering her the lead.
She tilts her head down, her hair covering her pale face. “Physically, I feel like I got hit by a truck. It makes sense. I’ve been exhausted, and well… you saw the vomit.” A hint of color makes its way back to her cheeks at the last comment. “Mentally, I have no idea. I think I’m numb. Or maybe dreaming.”
I reach over, squeezing her thigh. “You aren’t dreaming. Waking up to find you gone… I thought maybeI’ddreamt the whole thing. Marley… this isn’t a one-night thing for me.” I put all my emotions into my words. “I’m here for the long haul. For us.”
Tears stream down her cheeks again, and she swipes them away with irritation. “I don’t know what to say,” she murmurs, voice breaking.
“Say we can give this a try.” I wipe her tears with my thumb, tilting her head up to look at me. “I’ve wanted this since we were kids. I was too scared to lose you, scared of other people’s reactions, but I realize now that never having you is worse.”
Marley is silent for a long moment. “I don’t think I can give you an answer right now,” she says. “My mind is so all over the place, thinking of all the things we have to do, and the fact that I’m pregnant. I can’t focus on anything else right now. I don’t know whether to be happy or terrified.”
I nod. “I can understand that. I just need you to know that I’m here. That I’m not letting you go.”
I pull her in for a hug, swearing to myself that I will do anything for this woman, anything for her future, for the future of our unborn child, and for our future together.
“What are we going to tell our parents?” Marley cries. “My parents always talked to me about the importance of safe sex, how teen pregnancy could be an uphill road.”
“Marley…” I chuckle. “We aren’t teens. We’re thirty-two.”
She stiffens. “It feels so scandalous, pregnant, from a one-night stand? What will people say?”
“First off,” I say, squeezing her gently. “We aren’t a one-night stand.” I don’t let her interject, even when she tries to, putting a finger over her lips. “I doubt people are going to be surprised. Everyone assumes we are together, anyway.”
Marley thoughtfully nods. “Yeah. They do.”
