Page 36 of Never Really Mine
I squeeze her tightly. “Promise. I’m good, Josie. Really.”
She nods, and we say our goodbyes.
“Stop bouncing your leg,”I say, reaching over and pushing down on the top of Marley’s thigh. She’s sitting on the exam table, dressed in one of those scratchy hospital gowns. She looks like she’s ready to hurl, but from nervousness, rather than morning sickness. Her chestnut brown hair is curled in waves, but pulled into a half ponytail with a clip.
She glares at my hand. “I can’t help it.”
“I know, but you’re going to shake all the sterile tools off the table.” I point to the small rolling table with various items on it. It rattles with the bounce of her leg.
A knock on the door stops her suddenly. In walks the nurse who roomed us, a young woman with short blonde hair and plum colored scrubs on, as well as Dr. Ness. Dr. Ness is a middle aged woman who exudes confidence, but not to the point where it’s obnoxious. She just knows what she’s doing. “Hello hello,” she greets, a broad smile on her face. “It’s so nice to meet you!” She shakes my hand, then Marley’s. Marley smiles, her face relaxing immediately.
They get the basic introductions out of the way, and then it’s time for business.
“I got your notes from the ER and the ultrasound imaging. Both babies look great. What kind of symptoms are you having, Marley?” Dr. Ness asks.
“Um, just like overall tired, nausea,” Marley says. I wait for her to continue, tell her how she throws up pretty much non-stop, but she doesn’t. I narrow my eyes at her, and she waves me off.
“And you went to the ER because you passed out?” she asks, writing on her yellow notepad.
“Yeah. I couldn’t keep anything down and I must have gotten dehydrated,” Marley explains.
Dr. Ness nods. She goes over the basic dos and don’ts of pregnancy, followed by an exam, and a pap smear. I do as requested and stand at Marley’s head for that part.
At the end, Dr. Ness does a breast exam. Marley widens her eyes, and I take the hint, turning around, facing the corner while she has her gown open.
Dr. Ness fills the silence with small talk, and I tune it out, until she asks, “Do you have any concerns about the piercings, or any other questions?”
Marley coughs. “Um, I guess I’d forgotten about them. Do I have to take them out?”
“Up to you. If you plan to breastfeed, we suggest taking them out sooner rather than later, but otherwise, it all depends on what you're comfortable with. Some women experience a lot of sensitivity and discomfort in their nipples through their pregnancy.”
Fuck me, I never thought about the sensitivity of Marley’s nipples, but now, it’s all I can think about. If they were sensitive that night, I can only imagine what they might be like now. I will my hardening cock to knock it off, because there isnothingabout this moment that is sexual. Except for the fact that I’ve totally zoned out their conversation, and I can’t stop thinking about the way Marley moaned when I sucked on the piercings.
“Beau?” Marley’s voice pulls me out of my daydream. “You can turn around.”
I whip around, eyeing her up and down quickly. The constant urge to make sure she’s okay hasn’t lessened, especially not since the ER visit. I’m constantly checking up on her, to the point where I’ve peeked through her open bedroom door more thanonce when she’s sleeping, just to make sure she’s breathing. I’ve sat outside the bathroom while she’s sick, there in case she needs help. I need to know that she’s okay. It’s probably not healthy, this anxiety, but I don’t see it going anywhere for a while.
“Everything okay?” I ask, raising my brow.
“Yeah,” she murmurs, her cheeks flushing pink as if she’s embarrassed. I step over to her, holding out my hand. She takes it, and I notice how clammy her hands are. I look down, catching her eye. She nods again, soothing some of my momentary anxiety.
Dr. Ness gives us a few pamphlets with pregnancy resources, as well as another prescription for the anti-nausea medication. “Any other questions?” she asks. “Oh, I forgot to give you my briefing on sex.”
I gulp, my throat suddenly feeling tight. My cheeks burn slightly.
Marley shakes her head maniacally. “No, we don’t need that,” she says hurriedly.
Dr. Ness apologizes. “I assumed you two were together, things seem so natural between you.”
“Yeah.” Marley chuckles awkwardly, dropping my hand like it’s burned her. “Long story. He’s my best friend. Drunken wedding, you know.” She fans at her flaming cheeks. “Now he’s stuck with me forever.”
I want to clamp my hand over her mouth to make her shut up. I get so frustrated when she says these belittling things toward herself, toward the change in our relationship. I’m not about to duke it out with her in the exam room though, so I settle for taking her hand back, squeezing it three times.
“Best friends since we were kids, just took us a long time to get our shit together,” I say with intent. How long will it take to get it through her thick head that I’m in this, that I want her for more than just my best friend or the mother of my babies?
The nurse in the corner smiles sweetly. “You two are adorable. Couple or not, you’re going to be amazing parents.”
Marley’s eyes turn glassy. “Thanks,” she murmurs.
