Page 37 of Never Really Mine
Dr. Ness strides over, patting Marley’s thigh. “We will leave you to get dressed, and then we will see you in four weeks, sound like a plan?”
Marley looks down at where our hands are tangled. “Yep.”
Dr. Ness walks by us, patting me on the shoulder. The nurse, Peyton P., who’s name tag I’m just now seeing, smiles again, getting a pump of hand sanitizer from the machine by the door.
When the door latches behind us, Marley slides off the exam table, dropping my hand, and using her other hand to hold the blanket around her body. “Could you?” She makes a spinning motion with her head.
I dramatically sigh. “I suppose,” I tease.
“Thank you,” she mutters. I can hear her shuffling around behind me, grabbing her clothes and undergarments. In record time, she’s dressed, and we’re heading down the hall to make her next appointment.
25
MARLEY
Ican’t rid myself of the awkward tension in my body as Beau pulls into my driveway. It wasn’t Dr. Ness’s fault, she was just doing her job, but as soon as she brought up sex, I felt like I was a teenager in health class getting sex-ed. Obviously, she knows we had sex, otherwise I wouldn’t be pregnant with his kids. Though, I suppose there are plenty of other ways to get pregnant, but still.She knew.
“I think I’m going to lay down,” I tell Beau. Who knows, maybe I can sleep away the awkward.
“Sounds good, need anything?” he asks, grabbing an electrolyte drink from the fridge.
“No,” I say. Beau has the most beautiful hands, and in those hands, is the blue electrolyte drink, which suddenly I would kill to have.
Beau watches as my gaze slides down from his face to his drink, and I can tell I’ve been caught. “You sure?”
“Positive,” I say, spinning on my heel and heading to the bathroom. I don’t need a stupid drink, just because Beau was holding it. Only, my mouth starts to water, and I swear, I’ll die if I don’t have that stupid drink right fucking now. I use thebathroom, cursing myself when all I can think of is the drink. I even brush my teeth, doing anything to get the mouthwatering taste out of my mind.
I climb into my bed, covering myself with my blanket, and start scrolling through social media. I can do this. There is no reason why I need to go out there, and make a fool of myself over a drink.
A soft knock on my door startles me. “Yeah?” I call.
I sit up in my bed, and watch as Beau strides in, bottle in hand. “I know you said you didn’t want this, but I think maybe it’s a good idea to drink it. I mean, Dr. Ness did say that you need to stay hydrated.”
I let out a strangled sob, because she did say that. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” I say, tears streaming down my face. Beau cracks open the drink, handing it to me and sitting down on the bed. I take a long gulp of the drink, sighing in relief as the flavor permeates my taste buds. When I’ve downed nearly half of it, I pause to breathe. “Thank you.”
“No problem. I could tell you really wanted it.”
“I really did,” I blubber. I wipe at my tear stained face.
“Hold on,” Beau says, reaching out to my face. “Your nose piercing is crooked.” With gentle fingers, he fixes the hoop in my nose, and dries my tears with a swipe of his thumb. “There, that’s better.”
He leans in slowly, his brown eyes melting into something sweeter, something darker. He’s kissed me more than once in the last few days, but each time, I write it off as something he feels compelled to do, because of the heat of the moment, not because he wants to. But right now, Beau looks like he really wants to kiss me. It’s the same look he had the night of the rehearsal dinner. My head spins, seeing that look in his eyes. I blame the pregnancy for the fact that I want to bury myself in his skin. There has to be some sort of biological reason for that, forwhy I find him so attractive right now, more than ever before. Or maybe it’s the way he’s been so sweet and so forthcoming with me.
He leans in, darting his tongue out to lick his lips, and just like that night, I’m the one to break the spell. I’ve already given into the natural touches and seemingly unconscious movements that draw me to him, but now, I need to be the one to stop this, to maintain the distance, despite how much I wish I didn’t have to. “We can’t,” I murmur. “I… I can’t. I’m not there.”
Beau leans back, nodding. “Yeah. Okay.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, guilt eating at my heart. Inside, I’m screaming,“please, hold me, I need you.”
“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about,” Beau says, resting his hand on my thigh. “Get some rest.” He stands from my bed, giving me a gentle smile as he leaves my room, shutting the door behind him.
God, I wish I could call Josie right now and tell her everything, but I’m not ready. I’m scared, not of her judgment, but scared that telling everyone outside of Beau and myself makes it even more real than it already is.
Tears leak out my eyes now for a totally different reason. Fighting this is going to be the hardest thing, but I have to do what is right for my babies, and that is staying strong, and not falling into the pile of lust I feel for my best friend.
26
BEAU
