Page 39 of Never Really Mine
“We might be outed,” he says cautiously.
A sinking feeling hits my chest. I’m not ready, not yet. I don’t know how they’ll react, and some part of me fears my parents will be disappointed in me. I’m unmarried, not even in a relationship, and I’m pregnant. With my best friend’s babies nonetheless. “Can’t we just say I have the stomach flu?”
Beau looks unconvinced. “We can try, but pretty sure everyone has some sort of idea, and if not, they have questions. I can hear Gramps speculating.”
I drop my head into my hands. “I don’t think I’m ready yet.”
Beau wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest. “I know. I know you aren’t, but we have such an amazing support system. They are going to be so happy for us,” he says.
I feel the tears instantly. “I just had this really cute idea of how I was going to tell everyone,” I blubber into his chest. “I was going to tell them at Christmas, with the ultrasound picture. I was going to photoshop little Santa hats on the babies, and it was going to be so cute.” I can’t stop the words tumbling out of my mouth. “Now they are going to find out because I can’t even look at food without hurling.”
“Shh,” Beau soothes, running his hand up and down my back. “We don’t have to tell them. We can do the Santa hats. It will be perfect.”
“No, it won’t,” I sob. “They already know, so how will it be perfect?” I know I’m being irrational and that I’m quite literally the definition of a hormonal pregnant woman, and yet, I can’t stop. My emotions are all over the place.
I’ve worked so hard on my mental health the last ten years, and one night with my best friend has all my emotions in a tizzy. It’s frustrating.
Beau leans back, moving his hand to tilt my chin up so I’m looking into those deep, all seeing eyes. “If you don’t want to tell them, we won’t, Marley. They will respect our boundaries.”
“Maybe,” I sniffle. “Maybe we just play it off. Say I have a stomach bug. If anyone questions it, or says different, we can just tell them. Yeah?” I ask, not really sure if this will work, but figuring it can’t hurt to try. I know I have no real reason to lie, to not tell them this life changing news, but god, I’m just so scared. Scared of disappointment, judgment, all of it.
What if it causes a rift between our parents? What if they think we aren’t good for each other, or won’t be good parents? It’s better if we get them excited about something first, I mean, who doesn’t love a good Christmas surprise, right? That has to be better than finding out your daughter is pregnant from her nearly upchucking all over the Thanksgiving dinner table.
“We can,” Beau agrees. “I’ll do whatever you need, butterfly.” He wipes my face, careful not to smudge I’m sure what is already destroyed makeup. With a shaky breath, I release myself from his hold, and turn to head down the long hallway. Beau walks by my side, a hand resting on the small of my back.
The room is deathly silent when we enter, everyone staring at us expectantly. Josie catches my gaze, a silent question in her eyes. I give her a reassuring smile that I’m sure looks more like a grimace and hope she doesn’t see right through me. But Josie’s too perceptive for her own good. Luckily though, she won’t bring up her conclusions, at least not in front of everyone. My gazetravels to every face in the room, taking in their looks of concern, question, and confusion.
The only one not looking at me, atus, is Lennie. Though to be fair, she’s four, so she probably only cares about the mashed potatoes and scalloped corn on her plate. I stop when I reach my mother’s face, her eyes shuttered with a concern that only a mother could bear. Looking away, I catch Gramps’ eye. He has a knowing gleam there, a sense of mischief bordering on humor in the wrinkles on his face. He’s just about to say something, I know it. Something that will surely be damning, and make me say the truth that everyone already knows.
And that is when I crack.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurt, and all hell breaks loose.
28
MARLEY
Beau whips his eyes to mine, wide with shock.
“You’re pregnant?” About seven voices shriek, laughter and screams of joy bursting through the room. Beau is shoved aside as arms wrap around my shoulders, bundling me in tight hugs. I don’t even know who’s hugging me, but based on the perfume, I can tell my mom is somewhere in there.
Pulling away from the hug, I’m met with the watery eyes of both my mom, and the woman who has always been my bonus mom, Nikki. “Yeah,” I murmur through tears. “ About eleven weeks.”
“Oh, sweetie!” Mom cries, her joy sending waves of happiness straight through my heart. I haven’t really given myself space to feel happy about the pregnancy yet, too afraid of others' reactions, too afraid tofeelat all. “When did you find out? How? Who?” Her eyes flick back and forth across my face, as if I’ll be able to reveal all the answers within a second.
Josie’s next, but she’s not questioning, because she knows. “Oh my god,” she says, her voice high, and full of realization.
“Yeah,” I reply. I step backwards, giving Beau a moment to step closer to me again.
“We’re having twins,” Beau says, and another round of shrieks fill the room. I can’t help but laugh, the pure joy of my loved ones something I never expected.
“It’s about time,” Gramps calls from across the table, scooping another bite of potatoes into his mouth. “Congratulations kiddos, I always knew you’d end up together.”
“Oh,” I start to correct him but Beau pinches my side. “Ow!” I swat at his arm.
“Don’t,” he threatens, not really menacingly, but I can tell he doesn’t want to open that can of worms right now.
The questions continue, but Beau leads me over to our seats at the table. I eye my plate carefully, my stomach still uneasy. An almost awkward silence descends on the table, and I can tell everyone has about a million questions they want to ask us.
