Page 43 of Never Really Mine
“You’re going to be their aunt,” I say, my voice watery.
“Well, duh, we already knew that,” she replies with a laugh.
“I just never thought about it. I mean I knew you were going to be their aunt, but like… you’re theirliteralaunt.”
“You’re being dramatic,” Josie says, but I can see the little hints of tears in her eyes.
“I can’t help it,” I say, tears sliding down my cheeks. “Everything makes me cry right now. I cried yesterday because my studio is so pretty.”
“Oh, sweetie,” Josie croons, pulling me back into a hug.
A hand rubs up and down my back soothingly, but it’s not Josie’s. When we release each other, I see Beau standing right behind me, ready to care for me if I need. I hate that he feels like he has to be at my beck and call at every moment, worried I may pass out or something again.
“Andrew, look at Mar’s cute little bump!” Josie pulls her husband toward me. The man who was more of a brother to me than my own brothers smiles sweetly, his gaze full of affection.
“Look at you,” he states.
Before he can get another word out, Beau is turning me to face him, glancing down my body.
I let him stare, taking it in. He doesn’t do anything but stare until Andrew breaks the silence.
“Dude, why are you staring at her like you want to eat her? It’s weird.”
Beau is shaken from his stupor. “Sorry, just kinda crazy. I didn’t notice this morning,” he says, his voice quiet.
I nod. “It really is crazy.”
Thomas arrives at the table next, greeting everyone, and giving out hugs. He smiles brightly when Josie points out my bump, kissing me on the cheek. Beau has his arm wrappedprotectively around me, and I swear he tightens his grip when Thomas does that, which is ridiculous. Thomas has been, and always will be, like a brother to me.
The band plays loudly in the background, so Beau leans forward to speak into my ear. His voice is low, tickling the shell of my ear. “Do you want water? Or maybe a pop or something? I bet if we coerce Jason enough he would give you something from his fridge.”
I chuckle. “Think he has juice boxes?”
Beau smiles. “I’m sure he does for when Lennie is here,” he replies. “I’ll go ask.”
I reach out, grabbing his arm as I laugh. “I’m kidding. I’ll just take some water, please.”
“You got it,” Beau answers with a wink. He squeezes me softly, kissing my temple before leaving Josie and I alone at the table.
“Alright, you gave me the bare minimum of information about the ‘how’ a few weeks ago, but I need more,” she says, pulling her hair up into a claw clip.
“I would expect nothing less,” I answer. We haven’t had any one-on-one time since the announcement and the chat we had that night and I know it’s been killing her.
“What finally broke the dam?” she asks. “Last I heard was how he almost kissed you at the rehearsal dinner.”
“Yeah… We danced at the reception, and he looked over at you and Andrew dancing, and said something along the lines of, ‘Did you ever think that would be us?’”
Josie practically swoons. She clutches a hand to her chest, jaw dropping in awe.
“From there, I actually ran, but he followed me. Wouldn’t let me get any farther, and followed me to my room. Then he just… kissed me. And we didn’t stop.”
“God, that sounds like something straight from a movie.” Josie’s listening intently.
I shake my head. “I avoided him for almost two months. I was scared, but what’s new? I didn’t want to lose him, but I guess I already lost him in that time.”
The fear of losing Beau inevitably made me distance myself. A self-defense mechanism that always seems to backfire when it comes to him. I’ll never forget the look on his high school girlfriend's face the day after he broke up with her.
Her face was pale as a ghost, thick black bags underneath her once bright shining eyes. She’d asked me if I knew why he ended things with her, or if I knew of a way to get him back. I’ve seen first hand what it looks like to lose him, and I know I wouldn’t survive it.
