Page 56 of Never Really Mine
34
MARLEY
“Have you decided if you want to know the gender?” our nurse, Mallory, asks as I step onto the scale.
“Umm,” I murmur. “We haven’t really decided yet.”
“That’s okay,” she replies. “My husband and I waited for our first, and I don’t regret it, but some of our friends have found out with their pregnancies, and that was also a lot of fun.”
I let myself think for a moment as I step off the scale. It would be fun to know, especially in terms of preparing clothing and things. Beau is behind me. “What do you think?” I ask.
He presses a hand to the small of my back as I slide my shoes back on.
“I don’t care either way,” he says. “It’s up to you, butterfly.”
I huff as Mallory walks us down the hall toward the exam room. My ultrasound is right after we visit with Dr. Ness, so we need to decide quickly. I’m irritated, because yes we aren’t together, but he still is an equal part in this.
Mallory asks me the standard questions, checking my blood pressure and pulse, before letting us know that Dr. Ness will be in shortly. I get settled on the exam table, eyeing Beau as he sits in one of the chairs against the wall.
“Beau, you have a say in this, you know. They’re your babies too,” I try to explain.
“I know they are, but Marley, this is your body. You’re the one growing them. I don't need to have a say in something like this. If you want to find out, great, we can get matching sets of clothes, or not. I really am fine either way.” Beau stands, stepping up to the table to my side. He pushes my bangs out of my eyes, locking my gaze with his golden brown ones.
“I don’t know what I want,” I reply, my mind overwhelmed. “There are too many choices. I can’t decide.”
“Okay, well let’s break it down,” he says. “For the nursery, do you want it to be one theme, or are you okay doing neutral until the babies are born?”
I bite my lip, trying to think.
Beau continues. “Is it going to stress you out, not knowing what to plan for? Or are you okay to go with the flow?”
He says the last part pointedly. As much as I pretend to be, Beau knows that I am not a go with the flow type of girl. I like to have things planned, so all of the unknown is killing me.
“I think…” I say, biting down on my lip again. “I think I want to know. So we can be ready.”
“Then we will find out,” he says. He drops his hand to my lap, squeezing it. “There, easy. It doesn’t matter to me what they are. They’re going to be the perfect mix of us, and I cannot wait. All I want is healthy babies that take after their strong, confident, and beautiful mom.”
My breath hitches. “Really?”
“Really.” He drops his head, resting our foreheads together.
Dr. Ness arrives, her smile widening when she sees us. “Well hello, you two. And how are things going?”
“Well,” Beau replies. “Marley?”
I nod. “Yeah. I’ve been feeling much better lately. More energy. High…” I trail off. I almost say I have had a high sexdrive, but that will not be leaving my lips with Beau in the room. Absolutely not.
“High?” Dr. Ness asks with concern.
Immediately, I realize my error. “No, sorry, I meant to say high spirits. Not like alcohol spirits,” I stammer, knowing I’ve been making it worse. “Like, happy. Happy times,” I say, lifting both my hands in an awkward thumbs up.
Dr. Ness laughs. “Good, I’m glad to hear that. Have you felt them move yet?”
I shake my head. “Not yet, but sometimes I feel like a little bubble, or a swishing feeling. Does that make sense?”
Dr. Ness guides me to lay down to measure my belly, an excited smile forming on her face. “That is the babies moving! With twins, you can feel things a little sooner, since there is less room for them in there, their movements are more pronounced.”
My mind stutters. “Really? That’s them? I just… I thought it was my food digesting or something.”
