Page 99 of Never Really Mine
Ariel squawks when she hears Marley’s voice, her little face immediately turning bright red. She starts to cry, and Marley winces. “Like that,” I say, tilting my head down to look at her. “She wants your boobs.”
I set the car seat on the bed, unbuckling her from her seat and lifting her out. Marley sets Arlo down in the bouncy seat she brought with, buckling him in before heading over to the chaise lounge to feed Ariel. I bring her over, and Ariel roots at Marley’s chest until she finds Marley’s nipple. Immediately, she starts to suckle, making happy whimpers as she fills her belly. I head over, picking up my son from the bouncer.
“Hey, big man,” I say, helping him form a little fist to give him a fist bump. “Were you good for your mommy today?”
He coos at me in response, and I take that as my answer. I sit down on the couch next to Marley, and we chat a bit about the shoot, and how both our days were.
When Ariel is done, we get her cleaned up and burped, and then get the babies in their outfits. A little onesie with a skirt for Ariel, and a pretend dress shirt with khaki pants and suspenders for Arlo.
Marley gets her camera all set up, and my nerves slowly kick in. I’ve thought this through, asked her parents, hell, we’ve even talked about it, but I’m still worried she’s going to say no. I check my pocket for the hundredth time, making sure the small box is there.
After everything is ready to go, I adjust Arlo so he’s resting against my chest, facing the camera. Marley takes Ariel from the bouncer, shoving it off to the side. The small remote is in her hand so she can continuously take photos. We did a shoot when the twins were small, but I asked to do this one specifically. I want to commemorate their growth, as well as the growth in our relationship.
“Ready?” she asks, reaching out to fix a piece of my hair with the hand holding the remote. Her left hand.
“Yep,” I say, bending down to kiss her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she says. On her arm, I see the spot directly underneath her large butterfly tattoo. Once she’s done breastfeeding, she plans to get three additional butterflies, one for me, and one for each of the twins.
The last three months haven’t been easy, not by a long shot. For every three good days, Marley has a bad one, where her anxiety is out of control, and her depression makes her question her worth, our relationship, or her ability to be a mother. She’s found a good medication though, and that has seemed to help. I’m so proud of her. It’s a hard road, but I’m staying by her side through it all, the way I have always tried to be. I don’t think I will ever forgive myself for the night I didn’t answer the call, but she’s here. She chose to stay, and chose to live this life with me.
Marley gets us into a few poses, and I smile down at her, so fucking proud that she’s mine, and will be until the day I die. I follow her directions, taking picture after picture, and when I notice Ariel making her irritated face, I decide it’s now or never.
“Oh no,” Marley says, looking down at our daughter. “I think she’s about had it.”
She’s not paying attention to me as I slide down onto one knee, cradling Arlo to my chest, facing him out so he can see her. I set him on my outstretched knee, and reach into my pocket to grab the box. Ariel starts to fidget more, and I silently will my baby girl to hold out for three more minutes.
“Marley?” I ask, trying to get her attention.
“Hmm?” she tuts at Ariel, only glancing at me briefly. She does a double take, jaw dropping as she realizes what’s in my hand. She fixes Ariel so she can see me, and Ariel coos happily at seeing her brother and dad in front of her. “Beau, what are youdoing?” Marley asks, though I know she already knows exactly what I’m doing.
I clear my throat to rid the anxiety building there. “Marley, I love you. I think I’ve loved you since you moved in next door to my family. Throughout everything, you’ve been the one person I trust, the one person I know will always have my back, and always love me. I promise to do the same for you. I promise to pick you up on the bad days, to always answer the phone, and to always be the man and father that you and our children deserve. I love you with everything I am. Marley, will you marry me?” My eyes are full of tears when I finish, and Marley is nearly sobbing.
She bends down to her knees, holding Ariel to her chest, not even looking at the ring. Her brown eyes are solely focused on me. “I love you so much, Beau. Yes, yes, I will marry you.”
I take her lips in a rushed kiss, unable to do anything but kiss her, as my son is in one hand, and the ring is in the other. The babies are between us, giggling at each other and their sudden proximity.
When we pull away, Marley’s cheeks are flushed red, eyes watery and cheeks tearstained. The remote for the camera is tossed onto the floor, but thankfully, I have my phone in the corner. I recorded the whole thing.
I glance down at the ring box, waiting for Marley to look at it. When she does, tears fall harder down her cheeks. Nestled in the velvet is her grandmother’s ring. With her dad’s permission, he gave me the ring to use when I asked for her hand in marriage, shortly after the twins’ birth.
It’s a classic solitaire diamond, set in gold with intricate engravings around the band. It’s perfect for Marley, delicate, but so strong and bold like her. She shakes as I one handedly take the ring from the box, and slide it onto her finger.
“Is that my Grandma’s ring?” she asks in awe.
I nod, tears filling my own eyes.
“Thank you,” she murmurs, looking down at the ring.
“Anything for you,” I say earnestly. “I love you so much, butterfly. I can’t wait for our life to really begin together.”
She nods, kissing me hard as our babies try to bat at each other in our laps.
MARLEY
EPILOGUE
As a little girl, I was always obsessed with my grandmother’s ring. I never knew my grandpa, but the stories she told me was a story of true love, and I wanted that for myself. I haven’t seen the ring in years. Honestly, I assumed it had been buried with her after her death.
