Page 42 of The Scars Within
This week is giving me a headache. As Rhodes would say, it’s been ‘a thorn in my side.’ And once again, Laney and I stayed up way too late, lost in our library books.
Today marks the first day of Aunt Cora’s class for our group. She’s earned a beloved reputation here at Mageia as the professor of Herbology. It’s a class all cadets take, with lessons growing more advanced as we progress through the war college. For our first year, I imagine Cora’s lessons will be similar to what she taught me when I was under her care.
The conservatory where Herbology is held was a short walk from the castle but not long enough for me to gather my thoughts on how my espresso station shift with Rhodes went this morning. After my embarrassing shower incident last night, I had no idea what to expect from him. During the walk to the cafeteria, I played out every possible scenario of how Rhodes might torment me over yesterday’s events.
Would he tease me about finally walking into the correct station, even though I failed to find the right bathing chamber? Would he have heard about my major screw-ups during Intro to Air and Earth and be ready to scold me for not being a strong representation of our team?Would he make another joke about Shayde? Though, why would he even have the right?
Between the two Wylders, Shayde has been the consistently kind one. He’s introduced me to his friends, invited me to their party in the Sanctuary, and didn’t make fun of me for not knowing how to operate the shower—even though he had all the opportunity to. Shayde also saved my ass from being tardy yesterday morning with that extra set of clothes.
Rhodes has been the complicated one to read. Every time I think I have him figured out, I’m wrong. Especially with his reaction when he realized I was wearing Shayde’s clothes and then was an entirely different person in the bathing chamber. So, I didn’t know what to expect as I made my way to the espresso station this morning. But every scenario I mapped out in my head was incorrect.
Rhodes was there early, already fulfilling orders. He greeted me with a nod, and that was it. No snarky comment. No teasing. The entire shift went as if we were two acquaintances working seamlessly together.
The anticipation of when Rhodes would finally speak, letting me know what page we were on, burned a hole through my chest. Slowly bubbling but intensifying with every minute of his ‘let’s act like nothing happened’ facade. I don’t have the patience to guess where I stand with someone; I’d rather talk it out and resolve the matter right then.
But is my presence even worth his energy? Why would I think that Rhodes even thinks twice about me? I am probably nothing to him. Just a cadet that he has to train to work the station.
Whether it’s in a good or a bad way, I don’t matter to him.
As the shift was coming to an end, Rhodes gave me another nod and turned to exit through the swinging door. That’s when the frustration boiled over.
“Rhodes!” I finally snapped.
He stopped midway through the door just as the swinging door slapped his shoulder on the way back. It took every ounce of self-controlnot to burst out laughing. He turned toward me, his brows knitting together in mild confusion.
“Yes?” he said in a low, even voice.
I had no ready reply, just a dramatic, exasperated hand gesture.
“And what does that mean?” he prompted, his voice laced with curiosity.
I let out a muffled groan. “You know what.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not fluent in—” he mimicked my wild hand gesture exaggeratedly.
I bit my lip, trying to suppress the laughter bubbling up inside me.
Rhodes sighed, stepping closer until he towered over me, just like he had in the pantry when we were searching for a mug. I tilted my chin up to meet his gaze, but as always, his expression was unreadable. The scent of cashmere sandalwood and vanilla wrapped around me like a comforting embrace, and I found myself caught in the unsettled storm of his eyes. My heart began beating rapidly, and my chest tightened.
His gaze softened as he asked, “What is it?”
“I never know if you just tolerate or actually enjoy my presence,” I whispered, the truth slipping out before I could stop it.
He slowly closed the distance between us, “Who hurt you in the past to ever make you question yourself like that?” An emotion flickered across his face, too quick to identify, before the muscle in his jaw tightened. He raised his hands as if to cup my face but stopped short. Instead, he shoved them into the pockets of his breeches.
“You’re seeing my brother, Thorne. I try not to show too much enjoyment in your presence out of respect,” Rhodes admitted, his voice low.
My jaw dropped. “I’m not seeing your brother.”
“Shayde is clearly into you, and you were wearing his clothes yesterday—”
“That wasn’t an intimate thing!” I briefly explained the incidents that led to me wearing Shayde’s clothes.
“I’m sorry. I assumed,” Rhodes said, his tone so soft it made my heart skip a beat. “I try to stay out of my brother’s way.”
Confused, I asked, “What is that supposed to mean?”
Rhodes shook his head slowly. “I’ve got to go.”
