Page 126 of The Scars Within
Chapter 48
Rhodes’s words snapped a puzzle piece together within my heart. The only sounds were the chilly breeze and the distant movements of Lakota and Noemi as they departed. My heartbeat returned to normal, the tears and heartache fading away.
I was lost in the storm of him when the sound of approaching footsteps alerted me that we were no longer alone. I turned to see Laney ascending the top step.
“Scarlet?” she called out.
“I’ll give you two some privacy,” Rhodes said, glancing back at me for confirmation. As he walked away, I noticed a dried substance on the back of his neck. Mud, maybe. Or–?
“What’s going on?” Laney’s voice got my attention as Rhodes closed the door behind him. “I’ve been so worried about you since Professor Yearwood found us in the mountains. I really don’t think you should be alone right now,” she said as she approached me.
I cleared my throat and replied, “I’m fine.” I started to move towards the roof’s edge to sit on the parapet but decided against it. So I just stood with my back to Laney.
“Nobody would be fine after what happened today.”
“I’m fine,” I snapped.
“Stop lying to me.”
Her sternness took me by surprise. I turned around to face her. “I’m not lying.”
She stomped closer, “Do you think I’m stupid?”
“No, Laney—”
“Don’t call me Laney when you’re lying to my face. I know something’s wrong. You’re being stubborn and pulling away from us. After the Burn Trials and everything we’ve discovered about the school, what’s making you so afraid to talk to us?”
I had no answer. I turned back around, facing the horizon with her at my back once again.
“We are your friends.”
That’s when I snapped, “Yeah, until the going gets tough. There’s too much bullshit in my life right now that you all won’t want to be a part of.”
Her laugh had no trace of humor. “Excuse me? We’ve been by your side through all of this—”
“You don’t know half of the shit I’ve been through.”
“And whose fault is that? You won’t let us in!”
She had a point, and I fell silent.
Laney took a step closer, her voice softer now. “You don’t have to pretend like you’re okay all of the time. Just tell me what’s going on, and we’ll be here for you.” She stepped in front of me, blocking my view.
My voice trembled, barely above a whisper. “I don’t want to scare you away.”
She shook her head, smiling gently. “You dumb, bitch.”
I opened my mouth to speak but she cut me off.
“I love you. Cleo and Tatum love you. My familylovesyou.” Her voice softened, but her words were firm. “Whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with us now.”
The knot in my throat grew, burning a hole inside me.
“I will not leave you. It’ll take more than you being a stubborn ass for that,” she said, her lip curling up into a small grin.
Spilling my truth to Rhodes gave me a sense of relief that I’d never felt before. I have never trusted anyone enough to reveal the darkness in my mind. I have built a fortress around my heart in order to protect it. But was it worth protecting if I’m still all alone? With a deep breath, I walked over to my reading spot, and Laney followed, sitting beside me.
I wrapped my arms around my knees. “I’m not okay,” I whispered.
