Page 1 of Love's Harvest
CHAPTER ONE
Heart pounding, she raced into the South Carolina woods, smashing dried leaves beneath her feet, struggling to catch her breath, intent on finding her husband.The farther she went, the sicker she felt.Suddenly, she stopped and grabbed onto her sides.
Ahead, a figure was sprawled on the ground.
She drew closer, then let out a bloodcurdling scream as she stared at the mixture of blood, skin, and bone that remained of his head.“No-o-o, Jesse, No-o-o!”
Sarah Bullard Miller bolted up from her bed with a start and drew a deep breath.Then another.She rubbed her eyes and reminded herself this was just a dream of something awful that had happened two years ago.
She sat quietly and listened, hoping her two daughters hadn’t heard her cries.
All was quiet.
Her adrenaline left her in a rush, leaving her feeling weak and nauseous.The dream was always the same, followed by a familiar pattern of emotions, everything from anger to a sense of loss to guilt.Suicide survivors told similar stories, and though it was helpful to know she wasn’t alone in feeling this way, it didn’t lessen her sense of failure.
Weary, she got up out of bed and wandered into the kitchen of the riverside cabin she was renting in her hometown of Lilac Lake, New Hampshire.She looked out at the pinkening streaks in the sky that indicated another pleasant fall day.Feeling more grounded, Sarah fixed herself a cup of coffee and took a seat at the kitchen table, trying to settle her nerves.The nightmare wasn’t as frequent a visitor as it had been at the beginning.Therapy and being back home, where she helped her parents with the Bullard’s Hardware Store, were all part of her plan to try to get back to a healthier life with her four-year-old twin daughters, Mia and Emily.
She heard the girls moving about in their bedroom and watched as they padded into the kitchen, climbed up into her lap, and sleepily laid their heads on her shoulders.Out of the wreckage of the past, these were her treasures.She adored them.At four, the girls were active and always doing something.What one didn’t think of for getting into trouble, the other did.Emily’s hair was light-brown, while Mia’s was a bit blonder.But all four eyes were the same distracting green color in identical faces —faces with classic features like their father's.
“Do we have school again today?”asked Emily.
“I like school,” Mia said.
“That’s helpful because you’re going to school like you usually do, so I can help Mimi and PopPop at the store.”
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A while later, Sarah left her girls at their preschool while she continued her walk to work.It was convenient living in the center of the small town in the Lakes Region of New Hampshire.She could walk to most places.
She’d grown up in Lilac Lake, never appreciating the striking beauty of the town with its cute, colorful shops and restaurants along Main Street, the white-steepled church, and the town common where summer concerts and other town events were held.Standing in the middle of the town overlooking the common was Bullard’s Hardware Store, her parents’ establishment, and her place of employment.
Now, as she strolled through town, she stopped and looked into the windows of The Wild Flower Boutique, displaying many beautiful pieces of clothing.Next door, Pages Book Store held an enticing display of new releases.Mixed in among the retail shops were several cafes and Jake’s bar, where a lot of people her age met regularly.
Sarah moved along the street, admiring the colorful fall flowers planted in huge planters flanking the doors of many of the shops.Some, like the Artists Collaborative, flew the American flag.At this time of year, baskets of marigolds hung from the decorative lamp posts that lined the Main Street shopping area.But when Halloween arrived, the posts would be wrapped with black and orange ribbons.At Christmas, they would display holiday wreaths and twinkling white lights.
Feeling a warm sense of being back home, she saw her high school boyfriend, Aaron Collister, emerge from beneath the purple awning of the Lilac Lake Café carrying a cup filled with coffee, no doubt.She paused to study him.
He turned and gazed at her with those dark brown, almost black eyes that had captured her attention growing up.His straight dark hair was tied behind his head.After all that had gone on with her marriage and life in South Carolina, she still felt drawn to him, an almost spiritual pull.
Aaron stilled.Then he acknowledged her with a bob of his head before his two black Labs barked to get into his truck, diverting his attention.
Sarah went on her way filled with such sadness for all she couldn’t change that she couldn’t hold back the mistiness that blurred her vision.She had so much to be grateful for, and so many regrets.
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Sarah walked into the store, which had always seemed like a colorful wonderland to her, filled with everything a family might need, from a certain screw to the latest kitchen utensil.When she was little, she’d thought the store at Christmas was a special, magical place just for her.
Her father, tall and gray-haired, stood at the cash register, getting it set up for the day.
“Hi, sweetie,” he said.“I bought you a cup of coffee and a scone at the café.It’s sitting on your desk.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Sarah said.It was both sweet and annoying to be pampered by him.She loved both of her parents, but she sometimes felt as if she’d slipped back into high school, and the intervening years had been just a bad dream.
Sarah climbed the stairs to the second floor, which held her office and her mother’s, and was also where some of the home décor and gift items were stored.Larger items, such as kitchen appliances, hand and electric tools, and landscaping equipment and supplies, were stored in the back of the first floor, near the loading dock.People who’d never been employed in a large, regional hardware store and garden shop had no idea of the work involved in keeping the store filled with the right merchandise.She loved overseeing the garden shop during the spring and summer, and the holiday shop for Halloween, Christmas, and other holidays.
“Your dad bought you coffee and a scone,” her mother said as Sarah walked by her office.
“Yes, I know,” said Sarah, moving into her own office.Not much got past her mother.Sometimes it felt suffocating.
