Page 34 of Love's Harvest
An older woman entered the room and said, “Hello, everyone.I’m Dr.Ellen Fitzpatrick, your grief counselor.But please simply call me Ellen.I’m delighted to see so many of you here ready to navigate your losses.”
She moved to one of the chairs in the circle.“This is a safe place for all of you.Like AA, we won’t be sharing names with anyone outside the circle, and all information told here will be considered confidential.You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want help coping with a loss of some kind.Feel free to share your thoughts, but kindness and respect are essential from all of us.”
Sarah moved uncomfortably in her chair when Ellen continued.“Please, everyone, share your name and why you’re here.”
The person next to her began.
When it was Sarah’s turn, she gripped her hands.“My name is Sarah.I’m here because my husband committed suicide almost two years ago and I’m still trying to cope with what happened.”
Blake’s turn was next.“Hi, everyone.I’m Blake.My wife was killed in a car accident with another man.They were running away together.”He hesitated.“She was an addict, and he was her supplier.”
Hearing the pain in his voice, Sarah’s stomach clenched.No wonder the man had wanted to escape and hit the road himself.No other announcements were as surprising.Most of the other eight people were here for deaths of loved ones due to cancer and heart conditions.One woman announced her spouse had died from what she’d called simply old age.
Ellen guided them into discussions of survivor’s guilt, typical angry reactions, and other responses.“All responses are acceptable.There’s no judgement here.”
When Ellen spoke to Sarah about the anger Sarah had worked on over the weekend, Ellen gave her a nod of approval.“It’s okay to be angry.Especially when suicide has been committed.It leaves those left behind with penetrating questions about whether any of it was their fault.”
“Can we ever know what truly goes on in another’s mind?”asked Blake.“My wife left not only me but my daughter when she took off that day.I know she loved my daughter, but I guess she loved drugs more.”
“Addiction is a topic unto itself,” said Ellen.“I’m very sorry about your situation.Tell me how you’re handling it.”
“That’s just it.I’m not handling it very well.I took off, too, leaving my daughter with my mother, coming back often to visit as often as I could while driving trucks for a living.I felt someone else would do a better job of parenting than I could because I couldn’t even keep a wife.Guess that makes me an asshole.”
“It makes you a hurting, confused person.I’m glad you’re here.Have you talked to others about your feelings?”Ellen asked Blake.
“A counselor in Boston who I couldn’t relate to.An older man who doesn’t really understand the drug culture,” Blake replied.
“We’ll have plenty of time to delve into situations like this in the coming weeks.I’ve arranged to have a special speaker join us.”
After a little more time, the meeting ended, and people stood around chatting and sipping punch and cookies.
Blake approached Sarah.“I’m sorry about your husband.”
“And I’m sorry about your wife,” Sarah said.She put a hand on his arm.“You’re no asshole.Your daughter adores and respects you.”
“She’s something all right.With your help and Poppy’s, April’s coming out of her shell and beginning to find her place in school.Who’s Wyatt?”
“A popular boy in high school who may have a crush on April.I must warn you, though, that his girlfriend, a student named Lindsay Legget, is very mean and won’t like that idea at all.”
“Am I making it up or was high school a lot easier back when I went to school than it is now?”
“It’s always been a struggle, but with social media, it’s much harder.I’m glad I don’t have to be a high school student today,” said Sarah.
“I’ll protect my girl any way I can,” said Blake with a look of resolution.
“That’s sweet to hear,” Sarah said.“Are you coming to Jake’s on Thursday?”
Blake nodded.“Like you said, it’s a great group of people.I’m meeting Poppy there.”
“Poppy is one of the best.She’s a wonderful addition to town.She came here to take care of a dying family member and has chosen to stay.”
“Yes, I know.She’s living in the family house that needs quite a bit of renovation.I’m thinking I may be able to help her.But please don’t say a word to anyone about it,” said Blake.
“I won’t,” Sarah answered, but her mind was spinning.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Thursday evening, Sarah rode to Jake’s with Hazel.
