Page 27 of The Grumpy Vet
"That went well," Ryde says once I shut the door to Linus's office.
"Yeah. It did," I say, smiling to myself at the way Linus's eyes bulged when I called him Boss Man. It's always fun seeing someone who's usually so uptight loosen up a little.
We grab our backpacks from the staff lounge, say goodbye to Wilby and Muir, and make our way outside. Ryde lives a short drive from the clinic or about a twenty-minute walk away. We both felt like walking this morning, so we're enjoying a nice afternoon stroll back. The sun is out, but it's not crazy hot, which is a nice change.
"And he seems open to stuff?" Ryde says after a few minutes of walking in silence.
It's basically the only thing we've talked about these past few days.
"He does," I answer, sneaking a quick glance at my bestie because in the countless hours we've spent talking about what happened, we've only focused on the Linus and Ryde part of the equation.
Which is fine with me. More than fine, actually. In fact, if the conversation even looked like it was veering into whatIthought or felt, I quickly put a stop to it. I'll take talking about Ryde and Linus over talking about Ryde and me any day of the week.
Because I'm confused.
Not about the sex because every single part of that was amazing and fun and something I'm eager to do again, and I'm stoked that Ryde and now Linus are down for it, too.
What I'm confused about is my feelings for Ryde and where they fit into all of this. Like the expression goes, failing to plan is planning to fail. And as the king of best plans, I've mapped outall the likely possibilities of where this all leads, and the most likely scenario, in my mind, is this:
The three of us fool around some more. It's amazing and hot and filled with lots and lots of yummy orgasms. But after a while, Ryde will gain his confidence and get to the point where he no longer needs me to be his emotional support animal. The attraction between him and Linus will only grow stronger, as will their need to be with each other. Withonlyeach other. They'll naturally want to progress things to the next level and get into all that relationship-y, boyfriend-y stuff, and that'll be my cue to exit.
Which means…I need to enjoy it while I can because it very much has an expiry date. My heart is still bruised over the way my last relationship ended, so I need to buckle down and mentally fortify myself in preparation for when our little foray into threesome-land inevitably comes to an end. It shouldn't be anywhere near as stressful as my breakup with Quade because I'm certain it won't involve cheating and trying to steal from me. But it probably will be worse emotionally because it will force me to finally say goodbye to any lingering hopes I have of a relationship with Ryde.
"Whoa, we're here," I say, only realizing we've made it to Ryde's when his white front gate comes into view.
Ryde smiles, unlatching the gate and holding it open for me to walk in first. "You seemed a little…preoccupied. I didn't want to disturb you."
I scratch the back of my neck as we walk up the garden path to the front door. "Uh, yeah. Just thinking about work."
I open the door, and we slip in. "Should we get changed then drive over to Linus's?" he asks.
"Yeah. Sounds good."
He smiles, but there's something different about it, something I'm not able to automatically read like I normally can. We split off, retreating into our rooms to get ready.
When I come out, Ryde is perched on the edge of the couch, spine straight as a board. "Sit down, please." He gestures to the opposite sofa.
The hairs on the back of my neck prickle. "What's up?" I ask, taking a seat opposite him.
His face is as unreadable as his smile was a few minutes earlier, and it's throwing me off-balance. I hope everything's okay. I hope—oh, shit. What if we're about to have theI want to be alone with Linustalk sooner than I anticipated?
I keep my face neutral as he starts talking. "It was a good idea to talk to Linus today. I'm glad we did it."
"Same," I reply.
He lets out a long breath through his nose and looks me square in the eye. "So if it's such a good idea to check in with Linus, then why have you been acting the way you have been?"
I let out a small sigh of relief that he hadn't said what I'd dreaded he was about to, but I'm not in the clear yet. "What do you mean?"
"Come on. I'm not an idiot, Dario. Every single time I start to say something about you or how you might be feeling in all of this, you shut it down. Deflect." He holds me captive with those piercing blue eyes, the same ones that stole my heart the moment I saw them. "This involves you as well, and I want to know what's going on withyou."
I sink back into the sofa and run my fingers through my hair as I formulate my response. "This doesn't really involve me," I say, then I quickly change tack when his mouth opens and he looks like he's about to launch into a major rebuttal. "Okay, okay, in a way it does involve me. But let's face it. I'm simply ameans to help you reach an end. This is ultimately about you and Linus getting together. I'm collateral damage."
I regret the words as soon as they're out of my mouth. It was a horrible word choice, a totally wrong word choice that I didn't mean, and of course, Ryde immediately leaps over to sit next to me on the sofa, our knees bumping in his haste. "You arenotcollateral damage. Oh my god. Is that what you really think?"
"It isn't. Sorry, no. I misspoke. I don't mean it like that."
He draws back slightly, angling for a better look into my eyes. "Then what did you mean?"
