Page 97 of Heartstrings & Horizons
Cade looks down at me, a sparkle in his eyes that wasn’t there earlier, and in that moment, I know he had something to do with this. I give him a nod as he leads me out onto the dance floor where our song begins to play. He wraps me in his arms in that all too familiar way, his masculine scent surrounding me in a warm embrace. My eyes close, willing it to wash away every doubt and fear for as long as possible.
“Relax, baby.” He kisses my temple. “It’s just you and me under the string lights on the back deck.” My nerves disappear as the memory washes over me. We sway back and forth until the last notes of the song fade out. A moment passes where Cade and I are still frozen on the dance floor gazing into each other’s eyes. He reaches out and gently cups my cheek before placing a heart stopping kiss on my lips as the crowd starts to hoot and holler. Cheers and shouts of congratulations ring throughout the barn, easing my stubborn heart, until I spot Diane in my periphery, scowling at us. It’s like having a bucket of ice water thrown on me.
Cade leads me to our table with his hand on the small of my back in a comforting gesture. The tension comes back in full force when I realize we’re seated with mostly family members, including his mom, who joins us a short while later.
Guests flock to the dance floor as we snack on finger foods and indulge in drinks from the open bar. I look on as Cade gets caught up in conversation with his mom, who continues to give me the cold shoulder. Diane and I still haven’t spoken again since the run-in at the diner. I know Cade is being courteous since we’re seated at the same table, but her stolen glances are making me uncomfortable and I’m beginning to feel isolated. “If you’ll excuse me for a minute, I’ll be right back.” I say, intending to slip away to a quiet corner.
“Are you okay? Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, I’m fine. You have fun. I’ll be right back.” I give his hand a reassuring squeeze, not letting on how bleak my thoughts have become; the darkness is creeping in, threatening tooverwhelm me.
I find a secluded alcove with a small wooden bench near the barn’s entrance. That’s where Cara finds me a few minutes later, her expression one of concern and kindness. “Paige, are you okay?”
“Yes... No... I don’t know.”
“It’s a lot, isn’t it? Being around this many people when you don’t know most of them.”
“You could say that again. For the most part, everyone’s been wonderful but it’s still overwhelming sometimes. To be honest, I’ve been somewhat lost lately.” I take a deep breath, willing the tears not to fall.
Cara sits beside me, not saying anything at first, simply offering me her comforting presence in the wake of my words. “I’m sorry,” I finally say, my voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t mean to put a damper on your evening, too.”
Cara shakes her head. “It’s okay. Weddings are overwhelming, even without all of the sudden changes you’ve been dealing with.”
She’s right. Maybe I’m overthinking things. “Everything feels so new and different. I love Cade and Oak Ridge has become my home — they’re ingrained into my heart now — but I also feel… lifeless, in a way. I can’t just live for Cade. I need to live for myself, too.”
“Is that really how you feel?” Cade's voice cuts through the silence in the alcove.
“I’ll give you two some time to talk. I’m here if you need me.” Cara squeezes my hand before retreating down the hallway to the reception.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Misery is evident in his features and I feel a pang of guilt that I put it there.
“You’ve had so much going on. I didn’t want to burden you with my insecurities.”
“Paige, we’re a family now.”He crouches in front of me, his hands coming up to frame my face. “We’re supposed to be a team. I love you.” That’s when the first tear falls. I know deep in my bones that he’s right. I’m a mess and here he is, breathing life back into me all over again.
Cade
I knew something was very wrong when Paige didn’t come back right away, but I didn’t rush after her because I had to deal with my mom. I didn’t miss the looks she was giving her across the table, but I also didn’t want to make a scene. I tried to be impassive and courteous, but as soon as I saw the look on Paige’s face when she walked away, I was done.
“You need to apologize to my wife.”
“I’ll do no such thing. She doesn’t belong here.”
“She’s my wife. She belongs at my fucking side and she’s not going anywhere.” I open my mouth to say more, but I’m cut off and completely shocked when Pops gets involved.
“Diane, you ain’t bein’ fair to Cade and you’re sure not being fair to his young lady.”
Mom scowls.
“Thanks, Pops.”
“You don’t have to thank me, son. You take care of your woman and I’ll take care of mine.”
With a resolute nod, I stride purposefully after my wife.
“I can’t just live for Cade. I have to live for myself, too.”
My heart ached hearing those words. I had known something was off the past couple of days, but I didn’t want to push her to open up — I figured the transition would be difficult — but hearing her concerns voiced so clearly brought a new depth to my understanding. I can’t pretend to know exactly what she’s going through, but the thought that she chose not to confide in me stings.
