Page 98 of Heartstrings & Horizons
“I don’t want to be a burden,Cade.” Her words slice through me like a knife to the heart. I don’t know what gave her the impression that I would ever feel that way about her. Cupping her cheek, I bring her eyes to meet mine.
“Baby, you’re not a burden. It’s okay to feel everything you’re feeling.”
“I live here rent free, sleep inyourbed, eatyourfood, hang out withyourfriends; I take and I take and what do you get out of it? I have nothing to offer you.”
“I get you, Paige. That’s all I need. My life is better simply because you exist.” She tilts her head away, eyes fixed on something behind me, and I can’t stand the disconnect. I reach out to gently bring her gaze back to mine. “Don’t shut me out.”
“I wanted to work through it on my own. I’m not used to asking for help.”
“You aren’t alone anymore, Paige. You’ve been figuring things out for yourself your entire life. Let me carry some of the load. I want to be there for you but you have to talk to me so we can figure it out together. Asking someone to care for you isn’t a burden — it’s the bare minimum.”
“I’m sorry.” Her voice is dejected, and it slices through me, straight down to my bones. “I know I should be able to talk to you. I wanted to, but there was a bigger part of me that was afraid I’d lose you. I can feel the darkness creeping back in, and I don’t want you to watch it happen but I feel helpless to stop it.”
I can relate to her feeling of helplessness. I don’t know how to help her, but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to try. I don’t tell her that I think we should seek out a professional. I think that’s a decision she needs to come to on her own and I won’t push her.
“Paige, I love you. You don’t have to put on a brave face all the time. Let me in, baby.”
I gently pull her into my arms, kissing the top of her head.
She inhales a stuttered breath, more tears falling from her eyes before she murmurs “Okay.” It’s barely a whisper, but I take that as a sign that it’s time to take my girl home.
“Why don’t we head home, Mrs. Brooks?”
“That’s the best idea I’ve heard all night, Mr. Brooks.” A small smile plays at her lips, but it doesn't quite meet her eyes. We still have a lot of challenges to navigate, but for now, I just want to wrap her up in my arms and never let go.
Chapter 39
Cade
? Cowboys Cry Too - Kelsea Ballerini and Noah Kahan
“Idon’t want to be a burden, Cade.”
Those words have been ringing in my ears since the moment I walked through the front door with my girl tucked under my arm, her posture deflated. I’ve always tried to be a pillar of strength for everyone around me. If I stand rooted and strong, it lets everybody else around me crumble. The moment things didn’t go his way, my dad bolted, and I swore I would never do that to anyone I care about. I want to be strong for Paige, but damn if that one sentence didn’t break me.
I had missed her these past couple of weeks and I can admit that I fucked up — not being here when she needed me, leaving her alone while I worked on the changes at the bar. I didn’t see that she was struggling until it was too fucking late.
She’s fast asleep on her side of our bed. The distance between us feels like a gaping chasm and I ache to pull her to me, but I don’t want her to see how affected I am; how guilty I feel for tearing her away from her life. My breath caught in my lungs at the aching realization that I was selfish in asking her to sacrifice everything for me, when I had to give up nothing to have her here. I swallow hard, biting back the tears that are threatening to spill, until the knowledge that I could possibly lose her shreds the last threads of my resistance.
At a loss for how to fix this, I sit in her favorite spot on the window seat and watch the stars dance along the surface of the lake. Why didn’t she talk to me? Some time later, the door creaks open.
“Cade?”
“Hey baby. Did I wake you?”
She shakes her head in response. “What are you doing in here?”
I turn to face her silhouette in the doorway, illuminated only by the dim moonlight shining through the open window. I hang my head and rest my elbows on my knees. Defeated. “Couldn’t sleep.”
“It’s because of me, isn’t it?”
At those words, the guilt that had finally dissipated comes roaring back. “No, Paige. It’s because of me. All of this is because of me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t even consider what you would be sacrificing to be here with me. I just selfishly asked you to uproot your entire life and thrust you into a life that was entirely foreign to you.”
“Cade.”
