Page 53 of Fated
Can I have both? Destiny and love?The question made his head spin.
“I’ll talk to her.” Kai’s voice came out hoarse as if raw from screaming. “I’ll try to explain. See if there’s a way to make it work. To have my soul and my heart.”
Hope brightened Ava’s face, though a flicker of jealousy marred her expression at the way he referred to Lena. He winced as she threw her arms around him, whispering, “Thank you, Kai. Thank you.”
When she tilted her head up to kiss him, Kai wrenched himself backward, nearly losing his balance, hands gripping her shoulders even though they shook. “No,” he said gently, bile rising again in his throat. “We can’t. Not until I figure this out. Until I know she wants that too.”
Ava’s hope crumbled, face twisting as anger surged to the surface. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.” Kai’s voice steadied despite the noose tightening around his neck. “I know it’s hard, but I need you as my best friend again more than anything right now. I have to minimize the chance of everyone getting hurt.”
Ava’s expression darkened. Before Kai could react, she grabbed a lamp and hurled it at his head. He ducked, musclesscreaming as ceramic shattered against the wall. Shards rained down, cutting into his skin.
The sharp noise was followed by a blur of movement that made his vision swim. Elias was there in an instant. Crossing the room in quick, long strides to Ava’s side. His arms wrapped around her tightly, holding her back with a strength that was more protective than restraining. He didn’t speak, but his gaze cut through the room like steel, locking onto Kai. His stormy blue eyes burned with disappointment—and something deeper.Anguish?
For a moment, the air felt electrified. As if unspoken words and emotions had seeped into the silence between the two males. Elias’s stare said enough:Fix this. Do better.The intensity of his gaze made Kai sway on his feet.
Ava’s voice yanked his attention away from his future gamma. “Minimize everyone getting hurt?” she spat. Her wolf, Eris’s, presence was palpable in the air as Ava roared. “You fuckingdestroyedme, Kai!”
She thrashed in Elias’s arms, fighting to break free. He tightened his grip, one hand sliding into her hair in a calming gesture. His lips brushed her temple in silent comfort, even as he glared at Kai, making tears burn behind his lids.
Kai’s jaw worked silently, torn between guilt and the suffocating pressure of the bond he was trying to protect. He felt a pang of jealousy—jealousy for Elias’s ability to offer Ava the comfort she needed. Comfort Kai couldn’t give her without risking the fragile threads of his bond with Lena. His ribcage constricted as he straightened, legs trembling as he grabbed his bag.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly, each word like sandpaper against his throat. “I’m sorry for hurting you. For breaking promises that were not mine to make.” His lungs fought to expand, every breath shallow and inadequate. “I wish I could fix this withouthurting anyone, but I don’t know how. It’s killing me too, Ava, but all I can do is try. I have to try to find a way through.”
He hesitated at the door, grip fumbling on the handle. His voice dropped to a near whisper. “I hope this isn’t the last time we talk. That you’ll give me the chance to figure everything out. That somehow, we’ll still be in each other’s lives—no matter what happens.”
Ava didn’t respond. She was still in Elias’s arms, breathing harsh and ragged as her tear-filled gaze burned into him. Her fury, her pain, hung in the air like an invisible undertow, threatening to drag him beneath the surface and drown him in its depths. Elias lowered his head, resting his cheek against Ava’s as he whispered something too soft for Kai to hear. The sight of Ava finding solace in Elias’s arms made nausea coil in his stomach.
Kai turned the handle and stepped out into the hallway. Ava’s muffled sobs penetrated the closed door, haunting each step as he fled.
His head spun as he made his way to the lobby. His steps were slow, almost reluctant, feet dragging against the carpet, each step landing on what felt like broken glass.
Darius waited near the lobby’s tall windows, phone in hand. The temperature in the room dropped several degrees. His features hardened to stone, all warmth from the previous evening gone, when he spotted Kai.
“Is it done?” Darius’s clipped tone was devoid of any sympathy. Each word felt like ice in Kai’s veins.
Kai nodded, barely able to speak around the knot in his throat. “Yes.”
Darius straightened, his towering presence as intimidating as ever, disapproval radiating off him in waves that made Kai’s legs unsteady. “Good,” he said curtly, studying Kai for a beat before turning back to his phone. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.”
Dismissed. That was it. No acknowledgment of the turmoil raging inside him, no reassurance that this was the right thing. Just the icy formality of a leader who had no time for anything less than absolute obedience. The rejection made Kai heave.
He swallowed hard and left the lobby, Darius’s indifference slicing between his ribs and finding the soft vulnerable places beneath. He deserved the repudiation, yet the knowledge did nothing to stop his insides from hemorrhaging.
Outside, the crisp morning air did nothing to clear the fog in his head. The murmur of activity from the departing summit attendees reached his ears —wolves saying their goodbyes, loading luggage, the mundane sounds of life moving forward while his world crumbled.
His breath caught when his gaze landed on the Moonshadow pack. They were gathered near their Jeep, their easy camaraderie contrasting the chaos of Kai’s own emotions. Ryker was talking animatedly, hands gesturing wildly, and Lena’s laugh rang out in response. The sound soothed Kai’s frayed nerves, and he allowed himself to hope—just for a moment—that things might be okay.
But then Lena noticed him. Her laughter faltered, and a flicker of sadness crossed her face before she masked it with a bright, practiced smile. The spark of hope Kai had felt was replaced by a pang of guilt so sharp it twisted his gut and made his head spin. He hesitated as he approached—feet dragging as he worked up the courage to face her. She deserved so much better than this, better than him, but he had to try.
“Mate!” she called as he neared, her tone overly light, overly cheerful. The false brightness in her voice made him flinch. “Ready to see Moonshadow?”
Kai nodded, nearly dropping his bag as he placed it on the ground. He reached for Lena, fingers shaking as he wrapped his pinky around hers—a gesture she’d used so many times over thepast few days to draw him closer. One that now felt like his only lifeline.
Leaning in, he kissed the corner of her mouth, trying to hide his anxious state. Her now familiar scent wrapped around him, grounding him for the briefest moment before the guilt threatened to drown him again. His voice dropped to a whisper meant only for her, cracking on each word.
“I’m so sorry. I hope we can talk.”
