Page 45 of Pour Decisions
For a second I wonder if he doesn’t have them because he ran out at some point, or if it’s because he hasn’t slept with anyone in his bed in a long time. But I shove that thought out of my head.
“I have an implant,” I say. “And I got tested recently. Everything came back negative. But you can pull out and come on my tits if you want.”
His gaze heats up at the idea—it was one of his favorite things to do before.
He sits up, parting my thighs and getting between them. He runs the tip of his cock up and down my slit with one hand while he braces himself over me with the other. I try to scoot up so he’ll slip it in, but he does it in his own time. And when he does?
God. I forgot how good he feels, just big enough to stretch me but not so much that it’s uncomfortable. He takes his time—judging by the look on his face, he’s going slow so he can maintain some semblance of control.
“You’re so fucking wet and tight and —” He pauses and sucks in a breath. “I just need you to know I’m barely going to last. But I’m going to fuck you the rest of the night, so we can make it up.”
I grin at the strain in his voice. “Fine with me.”
He makes these hot, animalistic sounds as he gets into it more, his sole focus on hitting all the right spots. I know he promised me he’d tell me if he was hurting, but I still watch him. The line between pain and pleasure is thin.
The pressure starts to build up inside me, in that deep spot.
His eyes are locked onto mine, our breath mingling as he bites his lip and falls apart. He was right about lasting, but I don’t care right now. I just want to savor the way he looks right now.
He’s panting by the time he finishes all over my breasts, his eyes wild and hair mussed. His expression turns sheepish a few seconds later.
“I want to get you off but I might have overextended myself a bit,” he says, his voice soft.
I stroke his cheek and give him a soft kiss.
“That sucks.” I prop up a few pillows and gently nudge him toward them. “Guess I’ll have to sit on your face, then.”
He grins and lays back against the pillows, his body propped up, and I hop on. I’ve barely caught my balance when he buries his face between my legs. I cry out and press my ass back toward him, which only spurs him on. How did I ever live without sex like this?
I come in what feels like ten seconds, leaving scratches on his thighs.
Now that I’ve gotten off, I go limp , my breath coming in heavy. I roll off him so I’m facing him, tucked into his arms with my face against his collarbone.
“Just a second,” he says, kissing my forehead.
He slips out of bed and heads to the bathroom.
The familiarity and the gentle slip into intimacy again only makes me self-conscious once I’ve come back down from my high. But I don’t want to kill the moment, so I just curl up with the pillow and wait for JD to come back.
He returns with a damp cloth and cleans me up before getting back into bed with me. We lay side by side, touching but not strictly cuddling. I want to cuddle, but now that I’ve finally gotten off, I have no idea what to do now. We blew past the barrier that we’d agreed to set up and now we can’t put it back.
I can’t go back to the no-man’s land of having these feelings and not acting on them either. No number of other dates with guys who don’t have “baggage” will erase the fact that I connect with JD in ways I’ve never connected with anyone else.
Before I can awkwardly broach the topic, JD turns to me and tugs me closer.
“I’ve spent the past ten years regretting everything,” he says, not an ounce of doubt in his voice. “I want to try again. To give us another shot.”
My heart swoops up, but hits a barrier. Ishouldbe elated. Isn’t this what I wanted in some alternate fantasy universe?
But mostly, I’m scared.
“It’s complicated,” I finally say. “I feel our connection again, but I’m not the same person I was when we were together the first time. It’s not as easy to just go with the good feelings when we have a past. I trust you on a lot of levels, but my heart is still wary.”
He nods, his brow furrowed in concentration. We sit in silence for a while longer, and I study his profile while he looks at the ceiling.
“So you need me to win you back,” he says.
“I guess you could put it that way. Kind of makes me feel like a princess, though.” I laugh, but of course, JD is dead serious. “Like you have to run through an obstacle course filled with monsters to get me.”
