Page 48 of Over My Dead Boss
My heart drops because it knows what that means.
“Except for the last chapter. I don’t know if I can finish it.”
“Oh. Why not?”
Phoenix fumbles with the blanket between his fingers as he does with his words.
“Maybe I can be of assistance.” I try to help. “I think it comes down to what kind of book you want to write. If you want to go for that next American Classic, you probably need more death and an open ending. Serious book critics love dead bodies and unsatisfying endings. However, if you want to satisfy Rosa, you should probably add a lot of romance and some spicy bits.”
“Rosa?” he asks puzzled.
“Ah, long story. But I think you should probably just write what your heart tells you to write.”
“It’s not that simple.” Phoenix swipes a strain of hair out of my face, tugging it behind my ear. “There’s something I want you to see,” he mumbles as he crawls out of bed and walks over to his wardrobe where he reveals a hidden compartment that opens using his finger print. “These,” he explains as he reaches for what appears to be a giant stack of notebooks, “are my father’s. I received them after their accident.”
He hands me a little stack and I recognize them immediately. They are the notebooks I discovered on my first day here.
“He wrote down his… well, everything. They are kind of like a diary, more or less. Sometimes he writes… I mean wrote about what happened during a particular day, sometimes he just wrote down his thoughts. I don’t really know why he did it. I guess it helped him somehow.”
“You based Noël on him.” It finally clicks in my brain and he nods. “And now you don’t know how to finish it because the notebooks are unfinished themselves.”
Phoenix rubs his neck and looks like talking about this drains him of all his energy. “Not quite,” he says quietly. “I never finished reading them. I… couldn’t.” He holds out a notebook for me to take. “This is the last one, but I just can’t bring myself to read it.”
“I see.” I look at the small book in my hand. It’s the same type that he uses to write his own manuscripts. “There’s a finality to finishing his diaries and this way it feels like he is still around?”
Phoenix nods and lays back down. I crawl on top of his back, snug up against him, my face pressed against the side of his own. “Yeah, I guess that’s about it.”
“Hm, do you want to read it with me? Should I read it for you?” I ask carefully, not wanting to make him even sadder.
He strains his neck to kiss me and then buries his head in the pillow. “No, not right now. Maybe some other time.”
“Sure,” I say and leave it at that.
The next two days, both of us spend writing, editing, re-writing and editing some more. I make substantial progress with my book but Phoenix seems to be stuck. He goes for long walks with Dog, kicks the couch from time to time and angrily chops wood, which, if he didn’t look so tortured while doing it, would be the highlight of my day. Instead, I find myself brainstorming how I could help. It’s obvious that he will need to read the notebook; not for the sake of finishing his manuscript, but for himself. So while he is out, I go back to his bedroom and take pictures of each page he hasn’t read yet, not sure what to do with them, when I suddenly get a text from Sienna.
Sienna: YOU EVIL PERSON WHO DOES EVIL THINGS. DON’T THINK I WON’T GET BACK AT YOU FOR THIS! MY REVENGE WILL BE PLENTYFUL!
Olivia: Nice to hear from you as well, honey. Pray tell, what did I do?
Sienna: You forced me to read those books! But they’re incomplete. I couldn’t finish them.
Olivia: Phoenix’s books? The series he’s just finishing up right now?
Sienna: The very one! I started them yesterday and called in sick to finish them today. I just did and we’re no longer friends.
Olivia: I know how you feel. He is exactly as aggravating in person as he is on the page. They’re so good though, aren’t they?
Sienna: So good. I wanna fuck, marry, kill Noël all at the same time.
Olivia: That’s how I feel about Phoenix, too.
I press send before I think the message through. Sienna responds with a sideway glance emoji.
Sienna: Ahaaaaa, so we’re not just fucking anymore? We’re thinking of marriage?
Olivia: Don’t be ridiculous. It’s purely physical between Phoenix and I. And professional. It’s purely professional with a side of physicality sprinkled in.
Sienna: So what you’re saying is…
