Page 20 of Over My Dead Boss
“Fortune cookies, of course.” I pretend like that’s a perfectly reasonable answer.
“Fortune cookies?”
“Fortune cookies. Often associated with Chinese takeout, they’re a little treat with an uplifting message that makes you feel better about just having eaten too much deep-fried duck.”
“Thanks for the explanation. I doubt they have those here.”
“Darn,” I say as we pass the liquor section of the store, and Phoenix grabs two expensive-looking bottles. “That’s not very healthy, you know.”
“I am deceased, remember? I don’t have to worry about my health anymore. Besides,” he looks into the cart where he just placed the liquor, “you’re one to talk. Three different kinds of potato chips don’t really scream healthy either.”
“Dog requested all of those. I don’t even eat these,” I say and shift the chips a little to cover the salt-water taffy and Twinkies underneath. We bicker some more until we make it to the checkout, which is when I am greeted with a loudAhaaaa.
The lady from the other day is standing behind the register, pointing her finger at me. “Returning to the scene of the crime so soon,” she announces as her eyebrows narrow into one.
“So we meet again,” I answer, pretending not to be somewhat intimidated by her accusing tone.
“Wait,” Kathrin, as it says on her name tag, mumbles while retracting her arm slowly. “It’s you, isn’t it?”
“Well, it is me. But I am not the one you think I am. There must be someone else who looks similar to me. I would never steal from a little mom and pop store. Big chains,” I shrug my shoulder, “they are insured against theft and a girl gotta eat but—”
“Don’t worry about it, Kath,” Phoenix interrupts our quarrel. “She’s with me.” A quick wink from him and her anger is like blown away.
“Oh,” Kathrin answers, now with a smile. “I didn’t know. Well,” she says as if I just ceased existing, “I guess I should apologize.”
“That’s quite alright, Kath. My friend here can have that effect on people. I’ll see you soon. Have a nice day.”
The cashier’s gaze remains fixed on Phoenix’s butt as he leaves the store without even attempting to pay for all of our food. Not entirely sure how to proceed, but definitely sure that I don’t want to stick around Kathrin, I follow him outside. “So we’re friends, huh?” I say cheerfully, catch up with Phoenix and lock my arm with his. “Are we friends in crime now, too? Did you just make me an accessory? Because I believe we stole about $350 worth of groceries.”
Phoenix untangles my arm and carefully pushes me away from him before opening the trunk. “I don’t steal. I pay them a fixed sum every month and get to take whatever I need. It’s easier that way.”
Dog and I observe as Phoenix puts all our groceries in a bag that he grabs from the trunk. Being rich certainly looks easy. I wish becoming rich was, too.
“Must be nice,” I say and ruffle Dog’s fur. “Do you have a subscription at the strip club, too?”
“I don’t go to the strip club,” he grunts and pushes the cart back to its original place.
“So you’re saying the strip club comes to you then?”
“What do you care?” he asks as we both open our doors and get back into the car.
“Who says I care? The only thing I care about is you writing my book.”
“Mybook.”
“Our book. And you know—”
Phoenix closes his eyes, releases the heaviest of sighs I have gotten out of him so far, and, while I am still talking, turns the stereo back on. Wagner’s fanfare comes on again, blasting through the speakers, drowning me out. I consider complaining for a moment, but then change my mind and instead do the only thing that makes sense in a situation like this: I hum and drum along.
We stop in a parking spot under a tree when the song ends, and Phoenix gets out. “Wait in the car,” he bellows when the door shuts behind him.
I look out of my window and recognize the building right away. It’s the law firm where I first discovered him.
What would he have to do at a law firm? Again?
I decide that, as his assistant and editor and bodyguard, I should better follow him along to do my job properly. Luckily, both of our windows are cracked so that I can leave Dog behind for a moment. I let her know that I’ll only be a minute and rush up the stairs and into the office, where I am greeted by a set of charming eyes that peek out from behind Phoenix’s broad shoulders once I step inside. Even though I can’t see Phoenix’s face, I can imagine what it looks like.
“Oh, hello there,” the charing man welcomes me. “How can I help you?”
