Page 22 of Resting Grump Face
Another ten minutes later, the door to our car opens abruptly and Robyn climbs back inside. She hands me a half empty glass of martini, closes the door, and puts her seatbelt on. All of us look at her aghast.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” she asks. “This is commonly when people make their getaway.”
Guy stuffs the rest of a chocolate bar into his mouth, throws the large snack bag over to Paige and starts the car. Cautiously, he sets the turn signal, swivels around to check whether we areall buckled in and makes the slowest getaway in the history of getaways.
“So, uhh,” I hand her the martini back, trying not to spill anything, “did you get the pictures? Did they see you?”
“Is anyone following us?” Paige adds.
Robyn takes a sip from her drink and shakes her head. “Oh, I doubt they follow people for taking martini glasses. I have an uneven number at home, so I took the liberty of borrowing this one.” She finishes the drink with one gulp and lets the glass disappear in her handbag. “Also, no. No one noticed.” Robyn pulls her smartphone from her pocket, opens the gallery and hands it to Earnest, who passes the Chairman back to me. “It was quite simple,” she explains. “They weren’t even trying to hide it. I guess he felt a little too secure on his home turf.”
I tilt my head to see the pictures that Earnest is transferring to his laptop and, indeed, there is one picture after another of them holding hands, kissing, and a lot more groping than is appropriate in a public space.
“Oh,” Robyn adds and pulls a napkin out of her cleavage, “for you, my dear.”
I look at the squiggly numbers and the unreadable name above them: Ry… Ry-something. Electricity jolts through my body, giving me the same goosebumps I felt two days ago.
“Ryan. Cute guy at the bar,” she explains. “Said he’d like to meet my granddaughter one day. Oh, and don’t worry, I already informed him that I’d make him choke on his own cardiac organ if he hurt yours in any way.” She crosses her legs and gives me a grin. “Also, you’re officially my granddaughter now. I told him I had a granddaughter by the name of Sienna.”
Ryan.Of course, that’s what it says. Maybe I should give him a call just to purge my mind of any other unnecessary names starting with Ry?—
“Thanks,” I say and stuff the napkin in my pocket, then try to get back to the important thing at hand, “but what happened? Why didn’t you come out the front door?”
“Ah, darling,” Robyn relaxes in her seat, “there’s not much to tell. I entered, ordered a drink, had a little chat, got the pictures and left through the back door. Leaving the same way I came in simply felt a little… uninspired.” She throws her scarf around her neck and gives me a wink.
“So,” Paige takes charge in a serious tone. “I guess our plan is on track. Is everyone still on board with the rest of it? We will anonymously send him the pictures with a list of our demands. Most importantly, the demand that he will rescind any current, and abstain from any future evictions.”
“If everyone could let me know about any additional demands they would like to add, that’d be great,” Earnest says and cleans some cat hair off his keyboard. “Although I don’t think ‘put yourself in a pillory in the town square so we can throw tomatoes at your face’ is something that’s realistically going to happen.” With a stoic expression, he stares at Robyn, who just shrugs once.
This was as far as they had gotten with their plan. Collect the evidence, make a bunch of demands so he wouldn’t trace it back to us, save Robyn from her eviction and secure the living arrangements for all other inhabitants of Haven.
It’s solid. More than solid. I hope.
This wasn’t the first eviction we’ve had in our building after all. Harmony Inc. recently started handing them out to a number of inhabitants. Most evictions were unreasonable and could be fought with the help of a lawyer, but for that to work, you need to have the resources to fight in the first place. Some residents left more or less voluntarily because they were understandably afraid they couldn’t win a fight with a million dollar company. The eviction of Robyn is just a new peak on theshit mountain that is Harmony Inc. and our beloved Haven Life Community.
At least now we have what we need to help. For Dicky, it would only mean losing a little money since he won’t be able to increase rent as fast, but for the people living at Haven, it would mean not having to deal with existential threats like homelessness and poverty.
We discuss some other demands, such as pay raises for every employee at every branch, as well as donations to numerous charities, which would not only deflect any suspicion from us, but also do some good for other people. Unfortunately, proposals like the pillory or having him fight a group of starving lions don’t make the cut.
“I’ll send this out tonight then,” Earnest says.
Everyone seems to agree, though I get the feeling that the gravity of the situation has not settled in with everyone yet. Guy is happily munching on another chocolate bar. Robyn is practicing spinning her fake gun like a cowboy in a Western, and Paige, after giving Earnest her approval, picks up a paperback with what looks to be a hunky, bare-chested alien on the cover.
“It’ll all work out,” she finally says decidedly before turning to her smut. I really hope she’s right.
We pass two rats fighting over a piece of pizza, a guy dressed up as a tree running away from a Chihuahua and the street that leads to Phoenix and Olivia’s home. When I departed yesterday, they had asked me to water their plants by tomorrow the latest, so I figure I might as well use the opportunity now.
“Hey,” I call out to Guy, making sure he can hear me, “do you mind dropping me off down the street? I promised Olivia to kill her plants while she is on her honeymoon. Might as well get on that.”
The O-Team drops me off and I take the million stairs up to the lavish penthouse. When I finally make it to the top, my legs are burning, my shirt is sticky and, judging by his glance, the Chairman has been waiting for me for longer than he deems acceptable. I punch the code into the lock and take his harness off to let him roam around the penthouse. It’s almost midnight, so I just take a quick shower, and afterwards fall asleep in the guest room immediately.
When I wake the next morning, the sun is already up, my cat is nestled in between my calves and cars are honking outside. It takes me about two hours, and super-human will, before I make it out of the comfiest bed in existence. I brush my teeth, don’t bother to do anything with my hair and go to the kitchen in search of food. The fridge is pretty empty, so it’s coffee and some cereal with nothing else for breakfast. A true breakfast for champions who are totally going to find a job today. A job that they like, where they do something that’s not just personally fulfilling, but also useful for society, and one that pays a living wage with full benefits, including dental!
I laugh at my colorful imagination, plop down at the desk and get to work. The penthouse has a marvelous view of the city, which makes it a little less disheartening to send out one CV after another, being fully aware that it’ll probably rain rejection after rejection. Sure, I have a good degree, ample experience for my age, and some glowing references from former bosses that I made up, but so does every other applicant. I’m just lucky in that I have a bunch of friends who would help me out if need be, though I’d really prefer not having to call upon their help. I’ve always been self-sufficient, and I intend to keep it that way. Olivia wouldn’t hesitate a second to give me whatever money I need, but it’s a last resort that I don’t intend to use. Especially right now, that she is on her honeymoon and first vacation in forever.
A few hours and dozens of applications later, I look up from the desk and spy the hot tub outside on the giant balcony. The large glass front slides open easily. I take off the whirlpool cover and put my hand in the water. It’s warm and basically begging me to take a break from the tediousness that is job hunting.
So I pop on my headphones, turn on some ‘80s music, and go back inside. One piece of clothing after another comes off on my way to the bathroom, where I grab a towel. When I (moon)walk back towards the terrace, I bump into something. Something very solid that seems to be bolted to the middle of the room.
