Page 36 of Resting Grump Face
“You did this?” I grumble, trying to wrap my head around what’s happening here.
“No,” she answers with a tight jaw. “Meatloaf did this.”
Pilot Glasses chuckles and singsongs, “Well, I would do anything for?—”
“Don’t,” Sienna cuts him off with a stare that’s a lot less sunny than usual, then she reluctantly takes the last seat at the table.
I look around, as they are exchanging glances with each other, and wonder what I have been dragged into here. “Wait, is that a cat on a leash?” I ask when I discover a black fur ball jumping onto the quiet guy’s lap.
“He’s perceptive,” Pilot Glasses says. “Maybe we should ask him to join our little group of amateur detectives.”
“Amateur delinquents,” Sienna says under her breath.
Finally, Robyn takes the reign. “Well, Mr. Grayson.” She adjusts her chair. “May I call you Ryker?”
I nod.
“Well, Ry-Ry. As promised, I’d like you to meet my granddaughter, Sienna. Who I think you already know… intimately.” Her gaze flickers from me to Sienna and back.
Sienna closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. Her usual audacious, somewhat unpredictable aura is a little tense, to say the least. She does not seem to enjoy this. At all. Me, on the other hand, I am almost delighted, definitely entertained, and suddenly even less worried about getting shot.
“That we do,” I answer, barely able to hide my smile. “That we do. So, you are her grandma.”
“No, she isn’t.” Sienna waves me off.
“Adopted grandma,” Robyn explains and gently pats her (adopted) grandchild on the back.
“And we are her grandpas,” Pilot Glasses adds. “This is Earnest and I’m Guy.”
Earnest nods my way and peers down at my plate.
“And this,” Guy points towards the woman next to Earnest, “is Paige Turner, my ex-wife and the love of my life.”
Mrs. Turner chuckles sheepishly and greets me as well, “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Grayson.”
“The pleasure is all mine,” I answer, and let my hand brush over my stubble.
When I got up this morning, I certainly didn’t expect any of this. Then again, you barely ever expect to get abducted by your one-night-stand’s adopted grandmother. My phone buzzes in my pocket. It’s my secretary, Barbara, likely calling about the lunch appointment that I am missing at this moment. I press ignore. There are more important things to do right now than to discuss investment opportunities in the real-estate sector. Like finding out what I am doing here, or torturing the woman across from me. “So,” I start, “before I am going to ask for embarrassing pictures of teenage Sienna —emphasis on embarrassing— I still would like to know why I am here.”
“For the meatloaf,” Earnest states matter of fact.
Sienna releases a long, drawn-out noise that, since it oozes of annoyance, is music to my ears. “Fine. Fine. It’s quite simple, really. A big misunderstanding, if you will, and there’s no need to make a big deal out of this. We were just… investigating you a little. Now that I am working for—” she cuts herself off. “Now that you are my client. I thought it necessary to do my due diligence on you. You know, to be able to properly do my job. I need to know what kind of person you actually are, what parts of the rumors actually are true. So me and my —now former— friends here, were staking out your office.”
“Not friends,” Guy whispers. “Family.”
Sienna continues, “My plan was to shadow you for a bit, interview a few of your employees, maybe talk to a few of the journalists who have done stories on you. And for some inexplicable reason I brought,” she angrily motions around the table, “them along.”
“It’s because she needs us,” Mrs. Turner says gently and pushes Sienna’s plate closer to her. “Your food is getting cold, dear. Eat!”
“Do you do that with all your clients? Stalk them?” I ask, entertained by Sienna’s adorably exasperated expression.
“Only when she’s interested in them,” Robyn answers before her granddaughter can. “Be that as it may,” she turns to Sienna, “you’ll be delighted to hear: I have done all the work you planned on doing. While we drove over here, I found out everything we needed to know.” Robyn retrieves the little notepad she had in the car earlier. “Single, no kids, never married, lives alone, can support a family, enjoys ‘80s music, his favorite food is ‘fast and efficient’, whatever that’s supposed to mean, he’s a little scared of guns and, most importantly, he is not, and has never been, associated with any white supremacists. He’s just a good brother who should learn how to shut off auto-correct.”
“Interesting, interesting, so what are your intentions with our little girl?” Guy chimes in from the side, and is quickly joined by Earnest, who turns towards me with his bushy eyebrows, and a butter knife pointing my way.
A laugh escapes me. I almost feel bad for what I am planning here. Not because of Sienna (she more than deserves this) but because of her friends (or family) who really seem to care about her. And despite the kidnapping and their invasive questions, they are an endearing bunch. “You seem quite involved in your granddaughter’s life,” I observe and ignore the ludicrous question about my intentions.
“You would be too if you got to know her,” Guy begins and one after the other tells stories about how Sienna helps them with their weekly shopping, with their trips to the doctors, with setting alarms for their medication. They tell me how she keeps them company so they’re not lonely, how she takes them for walks so they stay fit, and how she keeps them up-to-date aboutthe latest scams. It’s almost as if she’s hiding a genuinely decent person beneath all that impudence and mouthiness.
