Page 29 of Resting Grump Face
“I don’t know which one I should teach some manners first, him or you,” I grunt through clenched teeth, trying to remain calm.
“Tough call, though I do think he’d quite like a spanking from you. Have you noticed how he’s been checking you out all evening?” Sienna takes the cutlery and I notice dark smudges on her hands. “Now, please, sit.”
Has she been… working in the broom closet?
What the hell has she been up to?
Reluctantly, I comply and choose not to make a scene. The couple next to us flag down their server once more, and make him pack up their second round of the main course to go, then they complain about the quality of the food and threaten never to return. Although, for everyone else in the establishment, it’s probably more of a promise than a threat.
After they’re gone, I finally have the chance to find out what Sienna was doing earlier. “What happened to your?—”
“Come on,” she cuts me off, gets up, empties her beer in one go and slowly follows the couple that is now paying the bill. Their server seems more than relieved when he clears their table.
“No tip,” Sienna mumbles. “Figures.” Then she turns to me and whispers in my ear, “Do you have a driver with you, or are you alone?” Her breath feels nice and warm against my skin.
As exhaled air usually does. Nothing special about it.
“Driver,” I reply with a lump in my throat, not sure what she is up to.
We wait behind the couple from hell for a minute, then receive our coats. I take care of the check, leaving a tip big enough for us and the demonic duo, who are now on their way out.
When we join them in front of the entrance, the valet pulls up their car and exits with an apologetic expression on his face.
“I don’t know how this could happen,” he begins to explain, “but I’m afraid you have a flat tire.”
The guy, whose hair looks like he probably swam here, checks his rear wheel and then, with an increasingly red head, wags his finger at the valet. “Are you shitting me, dude? You did this on purpose, didn’t you?” He grabs the poor guy by his uniform’s lapels and shakes him a little.
“Well, this is unacceptable,” his date chimes in. “We want to speak to your?—”
“Oh, I don’t think that will be necessary,” Sienna interrupts, trying to calm the wife, while I grab the husband by his neck and pull him off the unlucky employee. For someone of his frail stature, that guy is a lot more aggressive than is safe for him.
“They can just take our car, can’t they…” Sienna looks at me with a forced smile and gears turning in her head, “babe?”
A shiver runs down my spine and then all the way up again, causing the corners of my mouth to lift involuntarily. It seems like she looked for the pet name that would annoy me the most. Unsuccessfully. It’s an odd sensation and I’m not entirely sure what’s happening here, but I do immediately get what she is planning. “Well, yes, absolutely,” I say and straighten the guy’s suit, then put my arm around him. “Here comes Miles, my driver,” I motion toward the black limousine that is pulling up next to the yellow accident that is this guy’s car. “He will take you anywhere you want.”
Wet Hair looks over at his date, apparently uncertain what to do.
“There’s champagne inside,” I say and watch her light up.
“Well, if you wanna see the show…” she croons and is already on her way in.
The guy makes a threatening head bop towards our valet and reluctantly walks towards my car as well. “Get it fixed,” he threatens. “I will send someone to pick it up tomorrow.”
“What show are you going to see?” I ask, pretending to be interested.
“None of your business now, is it?”
Charming guy.
I nod and open the door for him while grinding my teeth a little. “Of course,” I answer. “I hope you have a very pleasant night.”Hopefully, about as pleasant as you are,I think to myself, then tap on my driver’s window, lean down to Miles and, for everyone to hear, tell him, “Take them wherever they want to go.” Then I move in closer and whisper, “But make sure you take the longest route and hit every single traffic jam you can find on the way.”
Miles nods with a grin on his face and off they go. Sienna has a similar devious grin when she walks back to me. The valet is busy calling someone to repair the tire.
“We need to call your driver to let him know to?—”
“Take the longest route through every traffic jam he can find? Already took care of it.”
Sienna nods approvingly, apparently not expecting me to be capable of the same level of pettiness as her. “And you should give?—”
