Page 5 of Resting Grump Face
‘I should have introduced myself, so you could have screamed my name while I was inside you.’
Who says things like that?
And why would it make me laugh?
And why would I still be thinking about it now?
It’s like my head stopped working and still hasn’t quite recovered yet.
‘You don’t know who I am, do you?’
Should I know him? Have we met before? Is he some kind of celebrity who is so far up his own ass he assumes everyone must know him?
“So, Sienna, my sunshine,” Mr. Ray pulls me from my thoughts before I can get even more riled up, “what’s going on with you?”
I think about how to reply for a moment. I don’t want to explain that I just lost my job and, despite being quite close with my best friends’ parents, I definitely don’t want to tell them about the whole bathroom… debacle? Extravaganza? Fiasco?
“I’m just a little afraid of flying,” I lie. “This is actually my first time. I’ve never been away from home and I am a little worried about Chairman Meow. He’s staying with Paige, Robyn, Guy, and Earnest, and I can’t say for certain that all five of them will come out of this alive.”
At least that last part is true. Our cat, the Chairman, has only ever stayed with Olivia or me and it’s hard to say how he’ll take to not seeing either of us for a couple of days.
Mr. Ray nods tentatively, clearly not satisfied with my answer, but too polite to force me to talk. He’s a wonderful dad. “Okay, darling. You know, if you ever need to speak toanyone, we’re here for you.” He takes his wife’s hand into his own, patting it tenderly. “I can’t promise we will have helpful advice but I can guarantee an unqualified comment or two and, if necessary, my better 3/4 here can do to the guy, who is giving you those deep wrinkles on your forehead, what she did to that humongous spider this morning.”
“Gently put him onto a flower outside?” Mrs. Ray asks with a chuckle.
“That’s right. I’ll make sure it’s a prickly one too! Don’t you worry, Sienna.” He gives me a wink and sits up properly as the plane makes a last turn onto the runway.Olivia is lucky to have parents like them and I am lucky that, as their daughter’s best friend, they have adopted me into the family like their own.
“Hey, look at that,” Verna suddenly interrupts and points outside. “Looks like there is something happening inside the airport.”
I turn my head and, through the snow, try to make out what she is talking about.
3
RYKER
For a second, I consider going back to university to earn a degree in theoretical physics so that I can build myself a time machine to avoid meeting that woman in the first place. But physics is not my strong suit. Nor is breaking the laws of physics, I suppose. Man-made laws on the other hand…
“So you maintain you haven’t had any alcohol or abused any other substances?” The police officer’s inquiry sounds more like an accusation than a question as he shackles my hands to the table in the small interrogation room.
I can barely focus on what he wants from me, since my brain seems to have evaded arrest by still being stuck in the bathroom across the airport, still stuck withher.
That damned woman.
I am unsure whether admiration or disdain for her prevails until I feel the sting from the taser in my butt again. I shift to the other cheek and try to focus on what’s important. It takes all my effort not to forget my manners. “Look, can I just have my phone call?” I ask as politely as I can muster, hoping the cop has a better day than me.
“If you answer my question.”
A grumble involuntarily emanates from my throat as a little blood runs down my temple. For good measure, he had hit me over the head after I was already incapacitated by the taser.
Fuck this.
There are many reasons I don’t usually go around sleeping with random woman in airport restrooms. This is probably one I need to add from now on.
I am technically not entitled to a call until I have been processed, so my options are to either remain uncooperative and drag this whole thing out, or to comply and have a chance to get to my best friend’s wedding in time. “No, I have not consumed any legal or illegal substances,” I explain despite my better judgment. “I’ll happily blow into the breathalyzer if you need me to.”
“So, you just decided it was a good idea to expose yourself in the middle of a crowded airport?”
Speaking of good ideas: Talking to the cops is not one of them.
