“Elizabeth gave up on that. She signed all the paperwork, didn’t she?”
“She did. But you never really know with family court. She might bring in some kick-ass lawyer or something to try to dispute her signature at the time. There are a lot of ways that this could play out.”
“But Elizabeth would never get full custody of Shiloh.”
“Not right away. At best, she’d probably score visitation hours under tight supervision,” Jodie says.
The thought angers me. I see the way Shiloh looks at me, the way she clings to me and Jodie. The little girl craves a woman’s presence in her life, and I would hate to see Elizabeth come in just to repeatedly let her down, because that’s exactly what will happen.
And it will break Damon’s heart to see it.
“I don’t think this town wants me back,” I tell Jodie at one point. She slowly turns to look at me.
“Whoa. Where’s this coming from? That mess at the fair? I thought we already talked about that.”
“We did. It doesn’t really change the way I feel, though. I did say this would be temporary, Jodie.”
“Fair enough, but you haven’t even spoken to Stephan’s lawyer yet.”
“He’s coming in next week. As soon as that’s settled, I think I’ll go.”
I’m well aware of the switches I’m making. One minute, I want to stay, the next, I’m ready to bolt out the door with my boy in tow. Carter doesn’t know that he’s Matty’s father, and every minute that I let them spend together drags me closer to a truth I’m not yet ready to reveal.
“No matter how I play this, someone is going to get hurt,” I say, aware that Jodie is waiting for me to say more, to help her understand. “The longer I stay, the more dangerous it becomes for Matty and me.”
“I don’t get it. You have Carter, Damon, and Jace. They will go scorched-earth for you, Clara. That much I know.”
“Not if they find out the truth. Trust me, Jodie, once it’s out, I’ll never be able to put that genie back in the bottle. And I don’t think they’ll be able to forgive me.”
Jodie leans forward, her eyes searching my face. “Clara, what did you do? All those years ago, what did you do?”
“It’s more about what I didn’t do,” I shudder, letting the tears flow freely down my cheeks. “And I have to live with it for the rest of my life.”
“Oh, honey.”
I cave in and cry my heart out.
The next fewdays give me time to think things through.
Work keeps me busy for the most part, while Matty occupies what’s left of my day to the point where I’m able to keep a certain distance from Carter, Damon, and Jace. I see them in the office, and we conduct business as usual, but they can tell there’s something going on.
It’s been almost three weeks since I came back. At first, I was itching to leave. Now, I’m not so sure anymore, but I know that I must.
One late afternoon, I ask Jodie to take Matty out of daycare and back to her place until I finish what I need to do.
I print my resignation, sign it, and take it to Carter’s office.
“What the hell is this?” he asks, staring at the letter I just set on his desk.
Damon and Jace are seated by the window, going over personnel files. They catch the tension in his voice and come over.
“My resignation,” I say, stating the obvious.
Waves of heat wash over me, followed by sudden bouts of cold.
“I owed it to you to do things right this time around, to bid you farewell before I leave,” I add with a trembling voice.
“This doesn’t make a lick of sense,” Damon replies. “I thought you were on board with completing the entire project.”