Page 28 of Royal Beast
The words taste like a lie, but I have to believe them. For her. For me.
I can’t do this to my daughter. She should never be exposed to this kind of violence. I was supposed to protect her from this, yet here we are, running from danger with an unconscious man in the backseat.
I pull into the parking garage and cut the engine, the silence lingering heavily like a weight on my chest. My hands shake as I sit there for a moment, trying to breathe. My heart is pounding in my chest. I glance over at Rose. She’s staring at Kellan, who’s struggling to sit up in the back seat. Her little face is scrunched with worry, and an ache settles inside me. This isn’t fair to her. I shouldn’t be putting her through this.
“Petal,” I say, my voice shaky, “I'm going to take you upstairs now, then I’ll come back for Kellan, alright?”
Her eyes remain trained on Kellan. “Is he really gonna be okay, Mama?”
I paste on a smile and say, “He’ll be fine. Let’s get you to your room, and I’ll come back down to get him.”
With one last glance at Kellan’s slumped over form, she nods and climbs out of the car. I hold her hand as we walk to the elevator, letting out a shaky breath.
Fuck. She shouldn’t have had to see any of this.
Once we’re upstairs, we head to her room. I help her into her pajamas then take her into the bathroom to help her wash her hands and brush her teeth. I tuck her into bed and kiss her forehead, brushing a stray curl away from her face.
“Goodnight, Mama.” Her little voice is a quiet murmur as she settles in for the night. I give her one last glance before partially closing the door and heading down the hallway. After turning on some lights and locking the door behind me, I head back to Kellan.
Back at the car, I open the back door. Kellan doesn’t move. For a moment, I panic, worried he’s not breathing, but then I hear a rasping gasp and my heart starts working again.
“Okay,” I whisper to myself. “Okay.”
I slide my arms under his shoulders and try to lift him. He’s heavier than I expected, all dead weight and limp limbs, and Ialmost drop him right there. “Kellan,” I grunt, my voice strained. He doesn’t respond.
Somehow, I get him out of the car. His body leans into mine, heavy and uncooperative, and every step toward the elevator feels like a marathon. My legs are shaking. My breath comes in short gasps. I don’t think I’m going to make it, but there’s no other option.
I grit my teeth and push forward. One step, then another. I just have to keep moving.
By the time I get him upstairs and laid out on the couch, my arms are screaming in protest and my back is on fire. He looks pale, too pale. He’s breathing, but his breaths are shallow and spread out. I pull a blanket over him, worried he might be cold. I don’t know what else to do.
I kneel beside him, my hands trembling as I inspect his wounds. His face is bruised and swollen, blood caked in his hairline and dripping from his lip. I try not to let my breath hitch as I begin cleaning him up. I dampen a washcloth, my hands moving over his skin as I dab at the cuts, carefully avoiding the swollen areas and open wounds.
Kellan moves as I touch him, groaning weakly. His eyes flutter open and he stares at me, gaze unfocused.
“You’re awake,” I whisper, trying to keep my voice calm and steady. I’m not sure what I feel right now. Fear? Relief? Perhaps a little of both.
His lips twitch into something that could almost pass for a smile, though it’s strained. “I’m fine,” he insists, his voice hoarse. “Were you worried?”
I keep my mouth shut, trying not to let him know how worried I was. I don’t want him to think I care. I’m only here to help him after he fought to protect us. Still, his presence makes me feel disoriented and off-kilter.
He looks a little better when I finish cleaning and bandaging his injuries. His face is still bruised, his jaw still tight with pain, but he’s breathing easier and he’s less pale. He no longer looks like he’s teetering on the edge of death.
I sit back, my hands on my knees, letting out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
“You shouldn’t have run,” he says suddenly, his voice tight. There’s a flash of something dark in his eyes as he meets my gaze. “You put yourself and Rose in danger. Again.”
I freeze, his words like a punch to the gut. “I–I wasn’t thinking,” I murmur, my voice soft. “I was angry.”
“Of course you weren’t thinking. You don’t get it, do you?” Kellan’s voice is softer now, but there’s still a bitter edge to it. He reaches up with a bruised hand, his fingers brushing my cheek in a gesture that’s almost tender, even though the pain in his eyes is palpable. “I didn’t make you part of my world to hurt you. And I damn sure didn’t marry you to put you in danger. But your running away like that only makes things worse.”
I don’t know what to say. His words hang in the air between us, forcing guilt to claw its way up into my throat. I know what I did put all of us in danger and I don’t need reminding. It’s my fault he’s hurt. I ran, and he came after us.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my voice small. “I never meant for any of this to happen. But it’s not all on me.”
Kellan’s expression softens for a moment, but before I can let myself believe he understands, something in me snaps.
“You’re just as much to blame. You took away my choices and you made me feel like I had no other option. If it wasn’t for how much of an asshole you were, I wouldn’t have wanted to get away from you. I wouldn’t have run and you would never have been in danger. I never wanted this. I never asked for it!”
