Page 56 of Breaking the Alpha
“It was my nice way of saying you look like shit.What’s up?”
Shrugging, he got comfortable and put his legs up on the coffee table.“I fly out to LA in the morning.”
“Angelina going with you?”
Exhaling, he shook his head and focused on the TV.“She already closed her shop to take care of me all of last week and this weekend, so no.Besides, I have a feeling I’ll be there for a while with the way my agent is talking.”Not wanting to think about it, he snatched the bowl of chips Grey was holding.“How are those busted fingers?”
“Jocelyn is keeping me high as a kite, so I’m not feeling a thing,” Grey said with a lazy smile.“What time is Angelina coming home?”
His heart clenched and he dug his thumb into the spot, trying to work the kink out.“She doesn’t live here, Grey.Neither do I.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Angelina steeled herresolve as she opened her door to find River on her porch, his hands shoved in the back pockets of his shredded jeans.The top three buttons of his Henley were undone, framing the bloodstone pendant and some of the most intricate fragments of the tattoo stretching across his chest.The tension in his clean-shaven jaw was echoed in his forearms, the muscles taut and strained.
God, he was beautiful.
She backed up, noticing he didn’t have his crutches with him as he limped inside.“Sorry I’m late.I had to finish up some laundry and pack.”
“What time do you fly out?”she asked, wanting nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and anchor him to her.
But she kept her hands to herself.And he did the same.
“The plane takes off at ten, so I have to hit the road early.”
She nodded, ignoring the slap her heart took with the reminder she wasn’t going to be the one to see him off.Because he hadn’t asked her.“When will you be back?”
“I’m not sure yet.I think it depends on whether or not I can hold the contracts I have looking like this.Could be days.Could be months.”
“Do you want to come in and sit?”
His gaze dropped to her lips for a moment before lifting.“I get the feeling I’m going to need to be sitting for this.”He followed her into the living room and sat on the sofa, his eyes on her as she took up position on the armchair and tucked her legs under herself.“I don’t suppose we’re going to talk about the benefits of anticipation when it comes to me leaving, are we?”
“I suppose it depends on how honest you’re going to be with me tonight.And with yourself.”
She could see his hackles rising as he leaned forward and grimaced.He clasped his hands together until his knuckles whitened.“I’m always honest with you, Angel.What have I done to make you think I’ve ever lied to you?Why the hell would you even say that?”
“Because you aren’t honest with yourself,” she said, fighting the urge to cross her arms.“Until you are, you can’t be truly honest with me, can you?”When he responded with the narrowing of his eyes, she grasped at the bauble around her neck and twirled it to center herself.“I’m not sure you know where you want to be, what you want to do, or who you feel you need to answer to.And until you figure it out—”
“I want you,” he interrupted.“I know that.I can go from there.”
“Except I can’t,” she replied softly.“I can’t stand in front of you and I can’t stand behind you.I can’t hide you and I can’t follow you.You’re living two separate lives, neither make you truly happy, and I can’t fix it.”Tears welled in her eyes and she blinked to keep them from falling.“I’m already too invested in you, River.Too invested in you and too invested in your family.I—we—need to take a step back so you can figure out which life will make you happy.”
“You make me happy!”he roared as he shoved his hands through his hair and looked up at the ceiling before exhaling and lowering his voice.“So this is nothing?You and me?We’re just, what, done because I have to leave for work?”
She spun the beads on her bracelet over and over.“No, River.We’re done because I can’t keep going like this, waiting for the rug to be ripped out from under me.”
“And your solution is to rip it out yourself?”Before she could respond, he got to his feet and shook his head as he stormed to the door, his gait uneven.“I came over here thinking we could figure it out.Thinking maybe we were strong enough together to handle a long-distance thing.I didn’t think I’d be listening to some cryptic ‘get to know yourself’ bullshit breakup excuse.Because that’s what it is, Angel.It’s an excuse.A bullshit excuse.”
She stood, her heart hammering in her chest as he flung the door open.“River, please,” she begged, skidding to a stop in the foyer and grabbing his hand.“Please stay so we can talk this out.”
He froze for a moment, but didn’t look back at her.“I can’t.I just…I need to go.I’ll call you when I get home, okay, babe?”
She watched him give the ugly purple giraffe a quick pat before he got in his car and drove away.His taillights disappeared and she closed her door, slumping against it as her heartbreak tore through her.
*
Eight weeks later,River found himself sitting in another makeup chair, tuning out the discussion around him.He didn’t need to hear the breakdown of how the artists surrounding him would hide his new and old scars.The topic had already been exhausted three weeks ago with his first post-accident photo shoot.
