Page 25 of Bewitched By the Siren
Right now, I want to enjoy this for as long as it lasts.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Hali
I’m feelingall kinds of twitchy this morning. Sure, I had a nice time hanging out with Brendan last night, and I got in a swim, but he came too close to seeing me phase. A shudder runs through me at the thought. I thought I was being careful, but I obviously wasn’t careful enough.
I can’t let that happen again.
And the only reason I agreed to have a beer with him last night was to determine exactlyhowmuch he saw. But he didn’t bring it up. He wasn’t acting nervous or freaked out at all, which would have been the case if he’s seen me flopping around on the sand with a giant tail before said tail ripped apart to form the legs I have now.
No, he was his normal, easygoing self, and I quickly relaxed. The alcohol helped, too, and before I knew it, I was just as relaxed as he was, laughing and having a great time.
And therein lies the crux.
I can’t let my guard down like that with him or anyone else, for that matter. I can’t let anyone get too close. It’s resulted in a lonely existence, having only my mother reallyknow me. Therealme. That’s why I don’t have any friends. My relationships with Memaw and my bandmates are strictly business. Transactional.
And sure, I’ve had a few one-night stands with strangers, singular moments in time where I pretended it eased the lonely ache inside me. But when each encounter ended, I’ve always used my siren song to make them forget it happened. To forget that I even exist. It’s a necessary evil, sure, but it leaves an ugly feeling festering inside me, so I’ve limited those moments to only a handful of times.
But with Brendan, it’s different. I can’t make him forget me because there are people in his life who know who I am and why he’s here. If I let him get too close, let something physical or emotional happen between us, he may try keep me in his life. He may want to get closer. To learn every one of my secrets.
And if he were to do that, to try, I don’t know if I’d have the will to push him away.
Or I could be delusional, and all he wants is my signature on the dotted line. That all the nice gestures, the laughter, the flirting…all of it could be business tactics for Brendan.
Either way, I can’t let my guard slip like I did last night.
A knock on the door startles me out of my musings, and I set my mug of cooling coffee down on the counter before heading over to answer it. I spot Brendan through the crack in the curtains as I approach the door. Stopping, I pat my hair and pull the legs of my shorts down a bit before swinging the door open.
“Good morning,” he says with a wide smile.
“Good morning,” I reply, the words more of a question.
“I just stopped by because I’m headed to the store to buy groceries for tonight, and I wanted to see if you or your mom have any food allergies, first.”
“Oh,” I breathe, my chest warming at his thoughtful consideration. “No, we’re good with anything.”
“Great,” he says. “I’m going to head there now. In my car, this time.”
He grins with that last bit, referencing our last trip to the grocery store and having to carry the bags all the way back here. I nod as if to tell him that’s a good idea, and he cocks his head.
“Are you doing anything right now? I’d love it if you’d come with me. Maybe give me some pointers on what your mom likes to eat so I can impress her.”
That smile is electric, mesmerizing me, and I agree without a second thought. “Sure. Just give me a few minutes to change.”
“You look great,” he says, his eyes skating down my body before snapping back up to meet mine.
Ignoring the hitch in my chest, I shake my head with a laugh and hold up a finger in the universal sign for “give me a minute.” Then I close the door and lean back against it to catch my breath.
My own mood swings are giving me whiplash today. I spent the whole morning obsessing over what Brendan may or may not have seen last night, replaying our time together afterward, and trying to decipher any context clues I might’ve missed while reinforcing the fact that I can’t let myself get close to him. And now? Now I’m giddy as a schoolgirl because he smiled at me and said I look good in my pajamas while sporting a serious case of bed-head.
“Get it together, Hali,” I murmur, pushing myself off the door and skipping on light feet through the house.
Popping my head into Mom’s room, I smile at her when she looks up at me, asking, “Who was that at the door?”
“Brendan,” I say, then roll my eyes playfully at her wide grin. “He’s cooking us dinner tonight, so he wants me to go shopping with him to make sure he gets stuff we’ll like.”
“Wait. He’s cooking forus?”
