Page 18 of Icing the Cougar
The other team scores, and it barely registers because I’m fixated on Jasper, watching his anger build.
Nova looks at me, then at him. "Wow, he's pissed," she says. "Think you're gonna need to console him later?"
"Or vice versa," I counter.
"Well, good thing you're up for it," Nova says. "You are, right?"
Her question lingers.
Jasper's back on the ice, but my mind is still in that box with him, wondering what this really means.
A minute later, the scuffle breaks out again. This time it's ugly, not just part of the game. I see it all happen, right in front of me, and I’m not sure I can handle it.
Jasper checks the same player into the boards, and they both go down, tangled and thrashing. It’s brutal. The crowd roars, and I lose sight of him in the scrum of jerseys and bodies.
I turn to Nova, but she’s already on her feet again, caught up in the energy that has me feeling like I’m about to unravel. The whistle blows and the refs break it up. Jasper is on his feet, glaring, furious, a raw nerve exposed for everyone to see. For me to see, and I'm not sure what to make of it.
"He's crazy," Nova says, breathless. I can’t tell if she means it as a compliment or a warning.
"They're putting him back in the box," I say. It’s all happening so fast, but the look on his face when he catches my eye happens in slow motion. He’s daring me to flinch, and I don't. Not yet.
"Damn," Nova says again, settling into her seat. "You're in for it now."
Jasper slams the door shut and throws himself onto the bench. I wonder if he even notices the other guy sitting across from him, until they start yelling loud enough for me to hear.
"You think you can get away with that shit here?" the guy shouts, his words echoing and jumbled.
Jasper’s voice cuts through. "You're gonna cry about it?"
"It's not fucking Canada, man," the guy says, and I catch something in his tone. Anger, but more than that. Like there's a story here I'm missing, one I should know if I'm going to keep this up with him.
"Fucking A right it’s not," Jasper says, grinning like he's got the last word.
The refs are watching but not close enough to catch all of it. I wonder how much of this is a game to him, how much is for real. How much of it I’m willing to put up with.
Nova hands me another drink. She doesn’t ask if I heard them. She doesn't have to.
The time ticks down, slower than before, and I'm too caught up in everything to notice the score or the clock or anything else. The guy is back on the ice, and Jasper stays on the bench a moment longer, staring across the ice.
"Go Blades!" Nova shouts when Jasper’s finally free again, skating with all the energy he bottled up in the box.
"Yeah," I say, trying to go along with this newfound energy from Jasper. "Go Blades."
It’s a blowout in the end. I think it was 6 to 3, but the numbers didn’t really sink in.
The buzzer sounds, and the arena is so loud it’s impossible to think. Fans pour out, and I’m lost in the rush, not sure which way is up. Not sure if I’m okay with that or if I'm about to get swept away.
"Jasper’s coming out later, right?" Nova says as we hang back from the crowd, letting them file past.
"Maybe," I say. I don't know if I can face him after this. After what I've seen, after what I think it means.
We stand near the exit, watching the frenzy, watching me unravel, and Nova’s still got that same look she gave me at the start of the night. Like she thinks I'm the crazy one for getting so worked up over this.
The other fans filter out, leaving us alone in the cavernous space. The rink is empty, and I can't shake the chill.
"Trin?" Nova asks. She sounds concerned for once, and I almost laugh at how serious it’s gotten, at how seriously I'm taking this.
"I don't know," I say. "I don't know what I'm doing."
