Page 19 of Trusting You
“Yeah.”
“And you had a dream and you worked for it and made it happen. I don’t even know what my dreams are, and I certainly could never just start from scratch and build something like this.”
“I appreciate that. But dreams can be terrifying. Because if it doesn’t work out, then what? If I pour all my passion and my soul into something and then it goes nowhere, what does that make me?”
“It makes you brave. And it makes you human.”
I was emotionally vomiting all over her and I knew I would live to regret it. “Most days I am terrified that I am screwing everything up and that I am in over my head.”
“You are not. You are crushing it. Look at this place.” She gestured around.
“Thanks. But things are not as great as they look. I need to pick things up, get more revenue, and take this place to the next level if it’s going to last. I just need some fresh ideas. Frankly, that’s why I hired you. Because I work so much and I live in survival mode, I can’t get creative about things. I can’t see the forest through the trees. As much as I can’t really afford to pay you what you are worth, I need someone to take some of my workload so I can actually think and figure out this mess I’ve got myself and my business into.”
She leaned forward in her chair and covered my hand with hers. Her hand was warm and soft and looked so small in my calloused bear paw. But it felt nice. “Take a breath, Liam. I can help.” She was so kind and disarming, and I just needed someone to talk to. I walked around like a volcano ready to explode with anxiety most days. It felt nice to share it with someone and have them believe in me.
“I may have sold drugs, but I was damn good at it. And your beer is amazing and this space has a ton of potential. Right now I have like five hundred ideas of how we can get more people in the taproom. You have a whole commercial kitchen you don’t use. And that patio area? We can dress that up and make it an amazing place to hang out.”
“I know, this place is awesome. But we don’t have the staff to run it and do all this extra stuff.”
“You don’t need extra staff, kid, you have me now.” She looked at me with those soft brown eyes, and I really started to feel a bit better, like I may actually have a chance.
“So you want to stay and help me figure this out?” I didn’t know what I was asking her, but I felt like I couldn’t do it without her. I didn’t want to face the future without this creative, spunky woman by my side.
“I have to be back in New York in January when my subletter moves out. But I’m here until then. The past couple of days have been the most fun I’ve had at work in years. And I get to wear sneakers. Do you have any idea how much heels suck?” She laughed and I felt warm all over. I didn’t know from experience, but I was willing to bet that yes, heels did in fact suck. “I can stay here with you until the end of the year. So we have four months to sell the shit out of your beer and your brewery and your vision.”
I couldn’t believe I had just spilled all that to her. I didn’t even tell my family about this stuff. I was a one-man show, and I took care of my own problems. But sitting here, talking to Cece and brainstorming about my business, my passion, I felt more relaxed and content than I had in years. I barely knew her, but somewhere deep inside I felt like she just might be the thing this place needed. She might just be the thing I needed.
11
Cecelia
Liam Quinn was fascinating.It had only been a week, but I was learning so much about him every day. He took responsibility for everything. No problem was too small for his attention. He pored over quality reports with Karl, analyzed sales with Shane, designed cans with Mark, and even mopped the floors when necessary.
He was positive without being insincere and treated everyone the same. He helped and encouraged and smiled at everyone. It became very clear after a few days that I was not special. He made everyone feel appreciated and valued. He remembered every detail about people, asking Karl about his granddaughter’s dance recital and Kyle about the new Marvel movie that just came out. He would top off people’s coffee, order pizzas when the team worked late, and call Ubers if someone had a few too many in the taproom.
Initially, I had been attracted to his overwhelming hotness. But as I got to know him more, I found myself attracted to his inherent goodness. My attraction to him was so distracting, I started avoiding his office and working on my laptop in the taproom instead.
When I had agreed to assume responsibility for the annual Oktoberfest event, I assumed it was actually in October. Apparently, Oktoberfest technically starts in September, which meant I had even less time than I thought to pull this off. I got right to work, nailing down the details - vendors, music, working through the menu with the caterers, and ordering decorations and other necessities. I had no background in event planning, but as a naturally organized person I was finding it to be an exciting challenge. Liam rolled his eyes at my color-coded binder, but I knew deep down he was impressed.
I had also developed a really annoying radar for when he was around. It was like my body felt his presence before my eyes saw him enter a room. I chalked it up to my deep-seated need to people please. I always wanted to make sure the boss saw me being productive. Did I mention I was great at lying to myself?
Anyway, I was clicking away when I felt his warm, masculine presence. I looked up to see him exiting the men’s room, sweaty, dirty and wearing rubber gloves. He carried a bucket of cleaning supplies and my heart stopped. It was not uncommon to see Liam cleaning or sanitizing or mopping floors. There was so much to be done every day. But he was the owner of this place, and he was not above scrubbing toilets. He had several people he could order to do it, but he didn’t. He took the shit work himself, pun intended.
Despite the fact that he had most definitely just been scrubbing toilets, he looked so hot I could feel my panties catch fire. His T-shirt clung to every muscle in his back and his hair was a mess. His beard needed a trim and his blue eyes shone. He was in jeans, but they sat so low that when he reached up, I could see a sliver of his abs and a very happy trail, leading down to what I imagined was an impressive package.
Truly, the godlike face and hot bod didn’t hurt, but a man who willingly cleaned bathrooms? A unicorn. A bearded, blue-eyed unicorn and I wanted him so badly I ached. My LELO was going to be working overtime tonight. And as much as I wanted the real thing, my battery-operated friend would have to do.
Because nothing could ever happen between us. He was not the type of guy for a quick roll in the hay. I knew it would probably be a fantastic roll, but he did not seem like the love ’em and leave ’em type. Neither was I, actually, despite Nora’s protestations. And I couldn’t risk getting attached and getting my heart broken. I was here for a reason—to learn more about myself and what I want. To become New Cecelia and find my purpose. I couldn’t afford to be distracted by my hot boss.
“How’s it going, Cece?”
I gave him my bestI wasn’t just eye fucking yousmile. “Great. Just working through the event details.”
“Excellent. Can we walk through some things in like thirty minutes? I have some stuff to do but should be free after three o’clock. Does that work?”
You can have me anytime anywhere. Stop it.“Yes. No problem.”
“Great. Meet me in my office then.”
