Page 61 of Trusting You
And just like that I felt dismissed. I felt sidelined. Of course he doesn’t need me here. I stumbled. “Sure. If that’s what you want. But I could stay if you need me.”
“No. I think we’re good now. I’ll text you once he wakes up with any updates.”
And just like that every insecurity swirled up within me.Of course he wants me out of here. I’m not family. I’m not anything. I’m just his casual fuck buddy. I need to go home and regain my dignity.
I adjusted my purse on my shoulder and turned to say goodbye to the Quinns.
“Oh, Cece, one more thing.”
“Yes.”
“Can you stop by the brewery tomorrow and check that Trent and Kyle cleaned and sanitized all the equipment? And can you email me the latest numbers from Gourd Fest?”
And just like that I’m an employee again.
“Okay, will do.”
I start to walk down the long corridor toward the parking lot. “And Cece?” he called out, and my heart leapt into my throat. I turned around.
“Thank you for everything.”
I wanted to run into his arms and tell him I loved him. Tell him I wanted to stay with him forever. Tell him I would hold his hand through the good times and bad forever and ever. But instead I nodded and walked to my car.
33
Cecelia
I was curledup in my favorite chair in the sunroom—a giant recliner that my mother had reupholstered with mustard yellow and pink floral fabric during her crafting phase. It was objectively hideous but oversized and fluffy like a marshmallow.
I saw the kitchen light flick on, and my mom tiptoed into the room.
“I saw you were still up and thought you could use some tea.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
She went back into the kitchen, and I could hear the rattle of mugs and her turning on the kettle.
She came back and sat down next to me in a much prettier but far less comfortable armchair.
“What’s on your mind, hon?”
“Nothing. It was a stressful night. The Captain’s not out of the woods yet.”
“I know, sweetie. But I have known Captain Quinn for almost forty years. He is a fighter, and so is Annie. I am going to the hospital in a few hours to sit with her and bring her fresh clothes. I know everything is going to be okay.”
I nodded.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Is something else bothering you?”
“The last twenty-four hours have just been really overwhelming.” That was an understatement. I was drowning in feelings. I was feeling sad and hopeful and confused and excited all at once. The event had been so successful. We were making real progress with the brewery. I was proud of the work I had done. And then there was Liam. My feelings for him were so much bigger than I knew how to handle. I knew I was in love with him, and I was terrified. I had been the one to insist on casual. I had been the one to put on the brakes. What if he didn’t love me back? The thought made me sick. I didn’t do this. I didn’t jump into the deep end without a plan.
“Of course, hon. And I’m sure it has brought up some difficult feelings for you.”
“Yes. I miss Dad. And I wish he was here. And I was so scared because I don’t want anyone to live with the loss like I do. I would not wish that sadness on anyone. Seeing another family potentially lose someone just really shook me up.”
My mom threw her arms around my neck. “Oh, sweetie. I love you so much. And your father did too. It never gets easier, does it?”
“No. It still hurts, Mom.”
