Page 65 of Trusting You
We sat, crying and hugging for a few minutes. It felt good, cathartic even. Our lives were in disarray, but we had each other, and that made me feel a lot better.
“Seriously,” she said, wiping her eyes, “I love having you back in Havenport. And the kids love it too. We were apart for so long.”
“I know. I love seeing them grow up.”
“Do you enjoy being back?”
“I do, actually. I feel more like myself these days.” And it was true. I had spent years being miserable and didn’t even realize it. My life was filled with some things I didn’t care about and a few things I actively disliked. It was like I had been asleep for the past decade. It took crash landing in Havenport and sleeping in my childhood bedroom to finally wake up. Since being here I had reconnected with my family, friends, and community, found a random but exciting new job, rediscovered yoga, cooked some fabulous meals with my mother, and had actually been chipping away at my reading list. I couldn’t remember the last time in my city life I had sat down to read a book.
“I know you are planning to leave, but maybe you could stay?” She looked at me, her tear stained face full of hope.
Her question hit me like an arrow to the heart. The longer I stayed, the more I felt like I belonged here. Like people needed me here. It felt good and comfortable and also scared the shit out of me.
I smiled at her. “I’m working on it, Mags.”
I thought this would be weird. I thought it would feel like failure, but it was turning out to be an awakening of sorts. Maybe Nora was right, maybe my next chapter had already started…
35
Liam
The last threedays had felt like three years. I was finally back at the brewery catching up on everything I’d missed. We had camped out at the hospital for two straight days before my mom kicked us all out. I think we were driving her crazy, and she wanted some peace and quiet. The waiting room felt smaller and smaller as each day went by. We chugged bad coffee and doomscrolled on our phones. Callum and Declan bickered endlessly, and I stared at the generic soothing artwork, trying to make sense of everything that had happened.
By the time Tuesday rolled around, the Captain was out of the woods and recovering nicely from his second surgery. The doctors were very optimistic that with medication and some lifestyle changes he would make a full recovery. It was a tremendous relief. But there was still a lot of work to be done. The good news was that my mom was such a hardass, I knew she could whip him into shape. And if she was busy policing my father, she would have less time to obsess over our love lives.
Despite my darkest fears, the brewery was not a disaster. Trent stepped up and had kept everything moving. He’d maintained our brewing schedule and managed the few deliveries we had. Cecelia had worked up the analytics from Gourd Fest and we had done better than expected.
So I should have been happy. My dad was recovering, having dodged a major bullet, and my business was growing stronger every day. Yet I was restless and confused.
I had so many thoughts swirling in my mind. The time spent at the hospital was mind-numbing, but it gave me a chance to think. To reflect on my priorities and my values and wrestle with my own mortality. It was pretty messed up that it took my dad having a major heart attack for me to slow down and actually think things through. I wasn’t particularly proud of myself.
I smiled when Cece walked into my office. She rushed over to me and gave me a huge hug. I took a moment to smell her hair and enjoy the feel of her in my arms. It had only been a few days, but my body missed her. “How is the Captain doing?”
I took a step back and sat down at my desk. “Better. He has to do a few months of rehab and vastly change his lifestyle, but he’s alive and kicking.” I felt bad for my mom, having to put up with him. Getting him to cut the red meat, whiskey, and cigars was not going to be easy.
She perched on my desk and gave me a tentative smile. “Good. I’m really glad he’s okay.”
“Thank you. And thank you for everything you did at the hospital. Having you there helped a lot. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it must have been hard for you.”
She avoided my gaze. “It was.”
“I’m sorry.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. I know losing her dad was really traumatic, and it could not have been easy to sit in that waiting room with me.
“Not your fault. I’m just glad the Captain is okay.”
She got up and started walking toward the door, like she couldn’t wait to get out of this room. She seemed too jumpy, so anxious today. “Do you want to get dinner tonight?” I had to see her, I had to hold her and wake up with her. My entire world was spinning out of control, but I knew the one thing that could ground me would be Cecelia in my arms.
She gave me a tentative smile. “Sure.”
She made her way toward the door, pausing as if she was debating whether or not to say anything else.
“Hey, Cece.”
“Yeah?”
“Do you miss your dad?”
She held my gaze. “Every day.”
